Only three words came to his mouth, but he couldn't speak them. His mouth remained shut while his eyes were open, staring wide and unblinking. He wants to speak. But how could he say these words?

Ghost lays almost completely motionless, chest heaving up and down heavily. His baby blue eyes stare up at Soap. The Captain wishes they would plead, plead for him to be saved, to live, but instead they are content. Content. "No," he mouths. His Lieutenant blinks tiredly and Soap pretends he's smiling beneath his mask even though he can't truly tell.

He watches his Lieutenant's right hand's fingers twitch.

It had happened too quickly for Soap. In a split second his team went from being homebound to being stranded when an RPG's missile went into crooked flight and exploded into their bird. Not soon afterwards a lorry had driven up with an LMG mounted in the bed. He had been lucky enough to be halfway across the road, but Ghost… He had turned to watch Ghost get sprayed by bullets. Cloth and flesh had torn as metal dug into his legs. The Captain didn't know exactly how, but the bloody idiot shooting the LMG had managed to keep all his fire below his Lieutenant's waist. While it had seemed to be what he was going to save his friend's life then, it would appear he might be wrong now.

Ghost is utterly immobilized. Soap reluctantly acknowledges that only because of his crazy dash back onto the road that his Lieutenant is still alive right now.

He stares down at the man. It brings he deep pain to see his friend lying still, hoping his motionlessness will fight away some of the agony. By the way Simon's eyes seem to a have a glossy shade over them, it isn't working.

MacTavish frowns. It feels horribly not right to see his Lieutenant's body broke like this. He had always felt that Riley's callsign was more than just a military nickname. The man had always somewhat resembled a ghost in his mind. Only ghosts don't lie bleeding to death when bullets rip into them.

"John." Soap blinks dumbly, realizing Ghost had actually said his name.
"Ai?" he questions, gripping his Lieutenant's hand tightly.
"I—I don't think I'm going to make it through this one mate…" Ghost slowly starts to say. Immediately the Captain starts shaking his head stubbornly. "You can't stay here with me. I know they're looking for us. Stuck in this building…" the Lieutenant looks around the mostly blown apart apartment lobby they hide in. "They'll overrun us easily."
"I'm not leaving you."
"Don't die because of me."

Soap looks stubbornly into his friend's eyes. He sees the pain and hidden desire to live. No man would want to die here, left to be torn apart by the dogs and men. He's glad to know Ghost favors that opinion as well. "I'm not leaving you, Simon." A shimmer of light flows into his Lieutenant's eyes as he smiles beneath his mask, but there is sadness as well. He doesn't say anything more. It's hard to argue that being left to die is the right choice.

All at once Soap wish he could tell Ghost how much he truly means. He has Simon somewhere special in his heart, somewhere that went beyond the strong friendship they had. And with that special place came a special fondness for the man. At first he had tricked himself into believing it was the same stubborn brotherly love and companionship he had shared and continues to share with very select few teammates. But that was soon thrown out the window when he realized he wanted to do things with Ghost. Things that could get him dishonorably discharge from the Task Force. The Captain wants to believe that didn't mean anything to him, but this is his life. As tormenting and hellish and it could be, it is his life. But that didn't mean he wouldn't be willing to accept the risk of taking a chance with Ghost. He could keep their relationship a secret. He knew he could live with keeping such a dear and heartfelt thing hidden in his heart as long as it meant having Simon.

If he could say the words… if he could just admit the truth he would consider himself very rich by a certain standards. But perhaps that would only be if Ghost shared the same special feeling.

The Captain worries the inside of his bottom lip. Now is the perfect time to admit his deep inner feeling. It is only Ghost and he. The rest of his squad had been killed. It is a cruel hardship to shoulder, but it gives him some resolution to know he couldn't say their deaths had not accomplished anything. At least, above all else, their mission had been completed. But if failing the mission meant having the assurance that Ghost would live, he would gladly fail. He would fail the mission so badly his superiors would breathe down his neck for the next few months. They might even demote him, but he was so damn good at what he did, he doubted they would have the balls to go so far.

Soap regains focus when he feels a hand squeeze his. He looks down at Ghost. The man's baby blue eyes are fighting to stay focused, looking around and blinking rapidly and infrequently. The Captain feels a heavy pang of guilt that almost murders him. He wishes like hell there was something he could do to ease his Lieutenant's pain, but he had used up all the morphine. He notes being fresh out of gauzes as well when he looks at the blood soaking through the white bandages wrapped around one of Simon's thigh and both legs.

Ghost could go from being stable to unstable only too easily. He had already lost too much blood. Soap hadn't thought a man could bleed so much. He had become profound with worry when he'd carried his lieutenant into the lobby and realized his shoulder was soaking with blood. How much did a man have to lose before he died?

"Could you stop worrying?" Soap almost smiles when he meets the annoyed eyes of his friend.
"How is that even humanly possible? You want me to leave and I'm shit afraid you're about to decide to just die on me. Damnit Ghost, I'm of course of going to be fucking worried." The words quickly turn harder then Soap had intended. His emotions had gotten the better of him and had gushed to the surface for a moment. He feels stupid and humbled by his own words, so he simply watches his friend watch the gaping hole in the wall that they had come through. "What you think the chances of us getting of here alive?" Ghost asks quietly.
"Pretty fucking slim." Soap chest burst with a warmth as Simon acknowledges the idea of them both surviving. "So, does this mean you're done with the dying bullshit?" Ghost chuckles in a low raspy tone.
"Ai. I'm done with the 'dying bullshit', mate." The Lieutenant pauses. "I… I realize I have some things I still want to do before I die." Soap tries to pretend he's not helpless engrossed by the words, but he feels like a bird dying to be free of his only-too-small cage. Hope has grown wings and the motherfucker is not going to simply sit contently and preen itself.

"A bucket list then?" he questions. Ghost chuckles again. It's not quite the happy singsong laughter that Soap adores, but it's still enough to make him smile weakly. "Imagine me with a bucket list." The Captain shrugs. "It would be a pretty short fucking list."
"And here I thought it would be similar to Ozone's."
"Ozone's? He'll be six feet under before he gets even a quarter way done with his list." Ghost's eyes lighten when he hears Soap's laughter, but they sober quickly. "Na, I only have one thing I've got on my list, mate." Soap mentally curses himself for feeling hope taking a very big leap. It isn't even remotely possible. "And what's your one thing, mate?" He succeeds in making his voice even only thanks to his Scottish edge.

Ghost shifts uncomfortably, but immediately regrets trying to move. He instinctively squeezes Soap's hand as pain flames up his legs "Try not to move," his Captain suggests.
"Thanks," Simon nonchalantly drones. But even despite his flat tone his cheeks bubble a light crimson red.

He feels sheepish because of the utter lack of space between Soap and his bodies. MacTavish's leg is parallel to his side and waist. And their hands are so willingly entwined. He loosens his hold, thinking his Captain might not like it, but Soap's hand only tightens its grip.

Ghost smiles under his mask. Maybe he isn't alone. Maybe… maybe this is okay.


Wow! It feels like I haven't posted a new story in forever! I'm super glad to have gotten this story started, because I've been meaning to write a Soap x Ghost story for what feels like an eternity.

And a quick explanation for the image. This story image was drawn by ameji from Deviantart. The person on the right is Soap and the only half-visible person on the left would have been Ghost if the picture would have shown better. I was searching around Google for something that would stand out and speak for this story and, well, this image did the job. I know it doesn't resemble the story in all sorts, but I couldn't convince myself there was a better image out there.

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy reading this whole thing as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thanks for reading and please review. Until next time :)