"I think of you every night and day

You took my heart and you took my pride away

I hate myself for loving you"

Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, I Hate Myself For Loving You

~oOo~

James really, really hated himself for loving Lily Evans. It was her that he saw in his mind when he woke up, he thought of her constantly. He'd see those green eyes and long, windswept, dark red hair everywhere he went. It was Lily Evans that his mind immediately jumped to last Tuesday when Professor Slughorn was lecturing the class on the effects of Amortentia in Potions class, and is was her that he (literally) dreamed about, and that his friends (constantly) teased him about.

James Potter's affection for Lily Evans had plagued him for a sum of three years, since the age of 14. A little crush on Lily had quickly proved itself to be something more - unlike James' other infatuations over the years, this one strengthened over time, instead of weakened. It was far past the point of being a mere schoolboy crush.

James wasn't entirely sure that he liked this not-so-minor detail.

Who was he, falling for Lily Evans. Who? He was supposed to be James Prongs Potter, the invincible Marauder. Rich, good looks, popular, mischief maker extraordinaire, possessor of a very generous amount of talent on The Quidditch Pitch, and top of the class. Befallen by his extreme affection for one lovely Lily Evans.

He wanted to hate her. He wanted to resent her for being so lovable (for lack of a better word). But he couldn't. Because then he remembered her laugh, it was so happy, and her snide, sarcastic, intelligent comments. He remembered how kind she was, and empathetic, and how she hated lilies because they were "too cliche". He remembered her long feminist rants and the way her brow furrowed and mouth tightened when she concentrated. He remembered her, and all the little things that made him fancy her so bloody much.

Somedays, he wanted nothing more than to not fancy Lily Evans. But then he remembered the thrill it gave him, how happy she made him, and decided that, yes, maybe it wasn't so bad after all.

(That didn't mean he wasn't pissed at himself for falling so hard)

~oOo~

A/N: I am not J.K. Rowling. Go Jily, go Flarke, Tyler Oakley is bae, review please, blah blah blah stay in school kids don't do drugs kthxbai.