Disclaimer: I don't own anything
A/N: No I'm not dead, I'm just in grad school which will undoubtedly kill me...I'm kidding, kind of LOL. But this episode just had such an AMAZING moment I HAD to write a tag to it. It's short, it's sweet and I've undoubtedly read far too much into a simple teacup but I don't care. It's JISBON!
Fix You
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
~Coldplay
It was one week before Jane's birthday and Lisbon was in hell.
It was hard enough finding the right gift for your boyfriend, but when said boyfriend is the one and only Patrick Jane then you were without a doubt screwed. What do you give a man who pretty much eschews anything normal?(Even going so far as to avoid a relationship with her for twelve years…but Lisbon didn't think reminding him of that on his birthday was such a good idea.)
Of course she couldn't put the blame entirely on Jane, she had to admit her own faults as well. Namely that she hadn't been in a relationship with a man long enough to land on his birthday since Greg. He'd loved his birthday present she'd gotten for him then, but she didn't think a video game console was really something Jane would want.
She'd done pretty well with her brother's over the years but she didn't want to give Jane a "brotherly" gift. That was definitely not what she wanted to define their relationship as, after twelve years of keep each other at arms length, she wanted him to know just how much she truly had loved him for those twelve years. So leather jackets and Cubs tickets definitely weren't going to cut it either.
It certainly didn't help matters that Jane was the gift-giving master. The bastard could read anyone like a book, of course he knew exactly what present to give you that would have you gasping in delight or shedding tears from joy. The pony he'd given her one-year was just the start. He'd topped it off with everything from an old vinyl recording of her mother's favorite song (she still had no idea how he'd known that) to a Madeline snow globe from her favorite series as a child. The man might hate receiving gifts or celebrating birthdays but he sure knew how to give them.
So Lisbon had been spending the past month pouring over Amazon, looking around shops, even asking Grace for advice over what to give Jane. The latter had been problematic as her friend had wanted to know why it was so important this year. Lisbon had normally respected Jane's wishes on his birthday, going for something small like a dinner at a restaurant between just them, something light that fit the idea that they were just coworkers and friends. But obsessing over a gift? That raised Grace's suspicions big time and she'd started hedging around the issue, wondering aloud if things had changed between them? Lisbon had gotten flustered but managed to not confirm anything. Still she knew Grace had probably called Cho to hound him for details instead. Good thing he didn't know anything and she knew he would prefer it if it stayed that way, no matter how much he could guess.
Lisbon was hitting panic mode and seriously thinking about giving up when she started going through the box of keepsakes she'd kept. The one she kept in the closet behind a stack of romance novels in a desperate attempt to keep Jane from being interested in it. She wasn't embarrassed by it but she wasn't sure if she was ready to let Jane see just how desperately in love with him she'd been over the years. She knew he undoubtedly suspected but he preferred not knowing, it made it easier for him to ignore how much he'd hurt her as well. But she could handle that pain, it led to where they were now and she wouldn't trade that for anything.
The box had quite a bit, the origami animals he'd given her over the years, the rock he'd given her when they'd walked on the beach, a small stack of letters from him when he was on the island (most of the contents of which she'd memorized), the plane ticket she'd kept from when he'd jumped on board to tell her how he felt. These were the moments she wanted to remember, the things she could share with him later…and maybe with their kids if that was in their future.
There was another box in there though, a little shoebox she'd added two years ago. Lisbon pulled it out and opened it carefully to see that they were still there, the pieces of the blue teacup Jane had dropped over two years before.
Those were without a doubt some of the worst days of her life. It wasn't just from the extreme danger and fear of being killed herself, it was more about expecting at any moment to get the call that Red John had finally succeeded. In the end she wasn't entirely sure if the call she had received was much better. It might have been easier for her to move on if Jane had died…but knowing he'd been alive was almost worse since she'd never given up hope he might come back. Of course she was so happy that hope wasn't unfounded.
After she'd listened to the voice mail, letting the tears fall as she realized she would never see Jane again. She'd quietly gone back to the old bullpen, forgetting that the couch was gone. She hadn't been able to lie down on and smell him, pretend that maybe he would come back. Instead she'd found an empty room and pieces of his teacup on the floor.
The cup had broken into many pieces, most of them rather large but some of them were tiny shards. For some reason, love no doubt, she hadn't been able to stand the thought of his teacup going in the trash, not when it was something he had loved so much.
So she'd gotten on her hands and knees to pick up all of the pieces, down to the tiniest little shard including the one she'd gotten stuck in her thumb. She'd even managed to rummage up the saucer that went with it that had survived. The pieces had gone in a box carefully lined fabric to keep them from being broken further, after all she didn't want to lose what little she'd had of him.
Now Lisbon looked at the pieces and smiled. Yes those had been truly horrible days, and the two years that followed had only been about her pretending the hole in her heart wasn't there. It was filled when Jane had come back but now…now it was gone completely, like the pain had never been there in the first place. He'd fixed her broken heart just like she hoped and prayed she was fixing his.
Some things were better fixed then before they were broken.
The light went off in Lisbon's head even as her mind screamed that it was foolish, after all it would be so difficult putting tiny pieces back together. But now the teacup was more than just a cup…it was a symbol of their entire relationship. And just like their relationship she was going to make sure it was fixed so it was better than it was before.
So Lisbon looked up videos and articles online before rushing to the closest hardware store where she could by epoxy glue, tape, sand, clamps and other materials she would undoubtedly never use again. She spent an hour talking to an employee at the store talking about repairing ceramics and what materials were food and heat safe.
The next few days she spent hours carefully putting pieces together, getting her fingers stuck together with epoxy and more than once considering breaking the damn cup again in her frustrations. But just like the love between them, the road to repairing it meant patience, endurance and careful craftsmanship.
So with a lot of epoxy glue, some putty and ceramic and a long hard time matching the paint color…it all came together.
The cracks were there but you could hardly notice them…but they still were there. Cracks the showed what was broken could be mended, cracks that told a story that was better than it used to be.
Lisbon could hardly believe she'd done it, not only had she fixed it but it actually held tea, and it didn't kill her when she drank from it!
So she wrapped the now fixed cup lovingly in the same box she'd kept it in, this time with the intention of giving it back to where it belonged. She could hardly wait to see his face when he saw his old cup back! But how? It had to be beautiful, candlelight, wine, a cake! No a cupcake, just for him, something small that he would prefer, but outside his airstream underneath the stars. It didn't escape her notice that now that she'd finally settled the matter of what gift to give him she was going all out on the actual celebration but she didn't care. This wasn't just about Jane's birthday.
It was their own celebration of just what they'd managed to fix up together.
A/N: Well what did you think? Sappy sweet but oh so beautiful. SHE KEPT THE PLEASES FOR TWO YEARS! Sorry I'm still not over that, I never will be. They love each other so much!
