Here without you

Bloody knuckles strike

Upon indifferent walls

As another loved one is lost

To the war

That is daily life.

Whiskey bottle held

In blood soaked hands

Slips from fingers

The sound of shattering glass echoes

In the silent motel room.

Only in the dark

Do the walls come falling down

A fist covered mouth

Prevents the noise

But not the tremors

That rack through the body.

Shaking and crying

Finally grasping the true extent

Of loss.

Eyes in the mirror accuse

'How could you let him?'

Lips form silent words

Apologies that are too little

Too late.

Shaking hands hold up

An aching head.

Thoughts out of order

Regret-Loss-Pain-Love

All of them overlapping

Making any movement

Unbearable.

Bloody knuckles strike

Upon indifferent walls

But it doesn't change anything

He's still gone

And

A brother is still a brother

Even when your other half is missing.

I'm sorry Sammy. So, so sorry.