Chapter One

(Spring 2016.)

Pregnant.

Delilah felt as if the air had been sucked out of her body as she saw that one small, yet powerful word, staring back at her from the conbines of its white barrier. Pregnant, a dream she had long had, but never dared to hope for because it was an impossibility. It wasn't that she was physically unable to have a child because it was now apparent that she could. The reason she couldn't have a child was because her husband didn't want to have a family.

When Delilah married Spencer five years ago she knew full well that he had no desire to have a family. Between his demanding, dangerous career, lack of paternal guidance, and fear of passing schitzophrenia onto his offspring, Spencer made it very clear he absolutely could not bring a life into this world. Delilah accepted this because as much as she loved children and craved a family of her own, she loved him even more. As painful as it was to live a life without children, the idea of living with Spencer was too painful to even contemplate.

With the prospect of having a family firmly out of reach, Delilah threw herself into work, family, and friends. She was a social worker for the county and the dark, twisted debotchery she saw on a daily basis riveled the things Spencer encountered. Despite the overwhelming and depressing nature of her job at times, Delilah loved her job. She loved being able to make a difference in the lives of the children she worked with. Being with them and helping them was a way for her to heal the wounds of her own past.

Delilah's life had started out ordinarily enough. She was the oldest of two children, her sister Maggie five years her junior. Her parents, Zane and Isla Gifford, had been high school sweethearts whose eyes had only been for each other. Zane worked as a forest ranger and Isla was an artist and Sunday school teacher. Theirs had been a fun, simple, carefree lifestyle, devoted to the outdoors and each other.

The good times were not meant to last. Although it had been years, Delilah could still remember the day her life changed forever. She was eight years old at the time when her grandmother came into her room to tell her the devastating news. Their father had been killed that morning trying to rescue campers from a freak forest fire. And if that wasn't tragic enough, their mother had perished in the fire as well.

Isla was going to surprise her husband with a romantic picnic lunch, but ended up getting caught in the flames. Within a matter of minutes Delilah's family had been ripped apart and her childhood was essentially over. Delilah and her two and a half year old sister moved in with her grandparents, but life was never the same after that. Grandma and Grandpa were their paternal grandparents and the only family they had. Their maternal grandfather was killed in the Golf War and their maternal grandmother died of a heart attack four years later.

Their father was an only child, but their mother did have a younger sister, Phoebe. Their aunt was four years younger than their mother and they were extremely close. Unfortunately Phoebe was killed in a hit and run shortly after Maggie was born, so the only thing separating Delilah and Maggie from foster care were their elderly grandparents. Their lives went from constant fun and outdoor adventure to helping their grandmother care for their grandfather, who was in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease.

Delilah was fifteen years old when Grandpa passed away. Even though the disease had destroyed him towards the end, Delilah could still remember the kind, gentle man of her early childhood. Before the disease had taken hold, Paxton Gifford was a strong, robust man, passing his love of the outdoors onto his only son. That was how Delilah preferred to remember him: the maker of the warmest fires and the tastiest s'mores in history.

When Paxton passed away, Delilah's grandmother, Rosemary, was struggling with Diabetes and Arthritis. Even with medication, her blood sugar levels continued to fluctuate, often sending her to the hospital. The arthritis had knarled her hands and feet into a clawlike appearance, making even simple day-to-day tasks impossible. While other teenagers were partying with friends and loitering at the mall, Delilah divided her days between school, two part-time jobs, and caring for her family.

When Delilah started college, she chose a school close to home so she could continue living with her grandmother and younger sister. Even with social security, disability, and Paxton's pension, money was still tight so Delilah worked full time to help support the family and make it so her sister could finish growing up in the only home she had ever known. She also managed to attend school full-time year round and graduated four years later with her bachelor's and master's degree in Social Work. By this point, Rosemary was losing her sight and she was completely bedridden. It would have been easier to check her into a nursing home, but she couldn't bring herself to do that.

Fortunately Medicare allowed for two nurses to come to the home and help care for her. Although Delilah remained closely involved in her grandother's care, the nurse's involvement meant Maggie could be allowed to have some semblence of a life. Delilah didn't want her sister to surrender her childhood to become a caregiver like she had, so she made certain her sister had the childhood that had been taken from her. Maggie still liked to help care for her grandmother, but she also played sports, sang in the church choir, had friends, all the things Delilah couldn't but wanted to have.

Rosemary passed away a week after Maggie's high school graduation. After Maggie went away to college, Delilah sold the home and used the money to support her sister through college. Delilah didn't want Maggie to have to work as hard as she did, so the money from the house was used not just for tuition, but for living expenses as well. Maggie still worked during the summer though, showing the signs of hard work and independence so apparent in her older sister.

Maggie married her college sweetheart a week after her college graduation and the newlyweds decided to start their new life in Colorado. They used part of Maggie's trustfund to purchase a modest starter home and began their life as newlyweds. Maggie found a job as a third grade teacher and her husband, Mark, began working as a computer technician. Five years later the couple welcomed their daughter Megara and Delilah was thrilled to become an Aunt. It was difficult to have her only family so far away, but Delilah didn't begrudge her sister's desire to start fresh.

Delilah considered starting fresh as well, but just couldn't bring herself to make the change. Afterall, moving from San Diego to Sacremento had been traumatizing enough when she was a kid and she didn't want to go through that again. She thought she was going to spend the rest of her life in Sacremento until she met Spencer. They met in the fall of 2010 when the BAU was investigating the murders of foster children assigned to Delilah's caseload. At first Delilah was suspected of murdering the children, partly from being overwhelmed at the sheer volumn of children assigned to her, and also out of a desire to put them out of their misery.

Spencer believed in her right away and it was soon discovered the adult children of one of the families who perished in the fire was responsible. They blamed Zane for not getting to their parents in time and wanted to get revenge by destroying Delilah. Once the case was over, Spencer and Delilah kept in touch and were married in the summer of 2011. Their marriage had been absolute bliss and she loved him more than anything. For once, instead of being a primary caregiver she was now receiving love and attention.

Someone loved and cared about her and only her. Delilah told him how much she would like to be a mother someday, but Spencer made it clear he wanted no part of that. She decided to accept that and be happy with what she had, in spite of the growing hole in her heart. She loved Spencer and wanted to create the happy family with him she'd had when her parents were alive, but she didn't want to risk losing him. The child issue aside, the Reids were a happy, loving couple who supported each other's interests and took pride in each other's work.

Delilah stared at the pregnancy test for a little while longer before tossing it into the garbage can. She washed her hands and exited the bathroom, forcing herself out of her dreamworld and back into reality. She walked towards her desk and sat down at the computer. Within minutes she found what she was looking for and wrote down the address to plug into her GPS. She placed the piece of paper in her purse and walked over to her dresser to find something to wear.

Since it was the weekend, she was clad in only sweatpants and tanktop and didn't want to leave the house in such a sloppy manner. That compulsion stemmed from her childhood and the desire to always keep up appearances. If Delilah or Maggie ever left the house in sloppy clothes or their hair uncombed, there was the fear of someone discovering their grandparents weren't up to the task of caring for the girls and taking them away. After everything they had been through, they couldn't bear to lose their grandparents or each other. Even after all these years the need to always be "perfect" stuck firmly with her.

Delilah quickly changed into a knee length denim skirt and maroom cap sleeved top. She carried her morning clothes into the bathroom and threw them into the clothes hamper. She removed the clip from her hair and quickly ran a brush through it. Although she was turning thirty-five next month, she could still easily pass for twenty-nine or thirty easily. She stood at around 5'6 and had an hourglass figure.

She was fair complected with thick, shoulder length copper hair and a smattering of freckles along her nose and other places on her body. She had a warm, winsome smile and large, dark, chocolate brown eyes. Her eyes were the only indication of the arduous life she had lived, a window into the pool of intense emotions she liked to hide from the outside world. Maggie and Spencer were the only ones who saw through her, the only ones who cared enough to uncover the truth.

Once she was ready, Delilah picked up her purse, slipped on her shoes, and walked down the stairs. After giving her home a final once over, she walked out of the house, locked the door, and walked towards her car. She climbed into her much-loved Malibu and after plugging her destination, she drove off, crestfallen yet determined to follow through on her next course of action.