Harry James Potter happened to be in the state of mind where he thought about himself.
Who he was, and who people thought he was. Especially what Draco Malfoy thought he was. Well he knew his opinions.. Malfoy thought he was an arrogant prat.
He sat under a big tree hiding his green eyes in a book. Staring aimlessly over the edges of it. He knew he should be reading for his exam but somehow his mind drifted off everytime his eyes gazed upon a new word in the dreadful book.
Recently he had become obsessed with Malfoy. Well, he had been obsessed a while, since year three actually. Following his footsteps for three years.
He didnt suspect anything, luckily.
Or maybe he knew, but didnt say anything.
Harry frowned and tried to read a bit as the boy in mind came out of the castle eating an apple. His hair was coamed backwards as usual. White shirt and undone tie. His grey eyes looked at something behind Harry's back, and Harry figured out that this exact moment he had been staring at him too long.
Malfoy changed his path and was now walking towards Harry.
"Great" Harry said and angrily closed his book
"Potter!" Malfoy pushed his way through a small crowd of Hufflepuffs on his way over to his arch enemy.
"Git?" Harry said back waiting for Malfoy to continue his verbal abuse so he eventually would go away.
"Tell me, why are you staring at me?" he said with a low voice full of rage. He had to control himself not to burst and start screaming.
"Who the fuck said I was staring at you?" Harry said trying to act like he didnt understand what he was talking about.
But he did, and of course it didnt work.
"Your eyes"
"Well, I wasn't"
"Dont lie, Potter. You have been watching me for years! Now I'm sick of it and I want to know why!"
"Fuck off!" Harry said grabbing his book. He stood up and hurried in the other direction.
Malfoy had a point and he didnt like where this was going, the worst thing he could to was to be honest.
Harry walked down the small path to Hagrid's hut. Halfway down the path he stopped and sat down by the big rocks that stood there.
Malfoy never went down that path unless he had to, he hated to be reminded of the fact that Hermione had punched him right in the face a few years ago.
Harry knew, and that was a good reason to take the risk of studying there. This time, time would show that Harry was wrong. Malfoy wouldnt give up until he got an answer. Or more specifically, until he got the answer he wanted.
Draco, or the slytherin prince as some refered to him had a lot on his mind. He walked under the green trees in the forbidden forest, the only place he could be alone.
The only place he felt alone. He still wondered about Potter.
Why did he stare at him all the time. It was getting annoying. Really annoying. He couldnt look anywhere anymore. Every time his eyes rested on someone or something he met Potters emerald green gaze. When Potter looked at him it kept Draco from looking back for more than a second or two.
He needed answers, Potters ongoing staring drove him crazy. Why was he staring? He didnt plan to do anything to pay him back for all the years of bullying.
It was another kind of stare. More like.. An obsession of some kind. He needed to find out what kind of obsession. He would keep it down to thinking for now. He sat down under an old tree and sighed before he opened the book he had been carrying around constantly for the past four weeks.
He didnt care much for the content of the book, the words just took his mind to another world. A world that didnt contain people he wanted, but could never have.
Not long after he had finished the fifth chapter his eyes narrowed a bit before the eyelids covered the grey gaze completely. He fell asleep with the book across his chest.
"Hermione!" Harry shouted when he saw the nest of fuzzy brown hair walking up the small hill from Hagrids hut heading towards the castle
Hermione answered by walking over to him and sat down beside him, letting go of the pile of books she had been carrying.
"Ahh.. A break" she said and looked thankfully at him.
"You look like a ghost" Harry said looking at her grey skin, the blue streaks under her eyes told him that she hadnt been sleeping for quite a while
"Studying takes its turn on me, but if I'm gonna graduate with top grades in every subject I have to study" she said and was about to open a five hundred pages book but Harry stopped her.
"Mione, you need a break, studying for two weeks without sleep or even a single break isnt good for you. And besides, youre the brightest witch your age, I bet you know even more about the history of magic than Bathilda Bagshot" Hermione smiled and leaned her head on Harry's shoulder mumbling something about if he could remember that she was on page 429 of book five that would be nice.
Harry just nodded and took the last book from her lap and placed it on top of the others beside her. He closed his eyes for a few minutes and smiled.
Draco sat under the tree drawing sircles on the ground with his fingers. Nothing made sense anymore. It was confusing. Why did his arch enemy look at him without hate in his eyes? Why did he care? He didnt, but obviously his brain did. Stupid brain.
He stood up from the cold ground and walked back to the castle. On his way back his eyes found a familiar shadow. The shadow belonged to Potter, sleeping with his head leaned backwards on a rock. He wanted to say something to wake him up, but he looked so damn peaceful. He kept walking and he didnt stop before he had to say the password to get into his dorm.
"Mudblood" he said and the portrait looked at him before letting him enter.
"You look sick, or maybe you are beginning to discover something about yourself? Or something about someone else?" the man in the portrait said as he walked through the hole
"Shut up"
"Im just trying to have a conrversation with you!" the portrait said turning its head quickly.
"As I said, shut up!" Draco said again. It annoyed him how much he feared that the portrait may have been right. He didnt know why he should care, it was a fucking portrait.. Nothing more. He walked silently up the stairs in deep thought. What if the damn idiot in the portrait had been right? No, no, no, NO! He could afford to give himself false hope. Not this time. He needed to figure out a plan to get what he wanted, to get it quick. And make sure it happened the right way.
Harry sat crawled up beneath the window looking up. Counting the bricks in the celing. Wanting to sleep. But as several times before his thoughts kept him from the sleep he needed.
"234, 235, 236.. He knows? 237, 238, Oh, fuck.. 239, 240, He knows!" Harry leant backwards a little bit quicker than he meant to.
"Ouch!" A low thump was heard when his head hit the brick wall behind him. But the pain wasnt that bad. The worst thing was that he knew. Malfoy.. Harry always stared at him a little longer every time. Not knowing how to stop staring. He now knew how every muscle in Malfoy's body reacted to every movement he did.
How his eyes moved from side to side when he looked for something. How his hair looked when the wind blew through it. How his shoulders moved when he took a breath.. It was slowly driving him mental. Not being able to touch any single part of that perfect human being. He wanted him. Three years is a lot of minutes.. Minutes spent wanting Draco Malfoy in every way possible
Harry stood up from the chill floor and went down the stairs and out in the empty hallway. He walked. He didnt have a destination. Not yet, two seconds later he did. He was sick of his thoughts, they drove him more insane by the minute. He was sick of keeping his mask. Sick of keeping his feelings to himself. He needed to be understood. He was tired of wanting someone he could never have. He started running. Running towards the one place he knew no one would find him. And no one would hear his screams. Running towards his personal place of pure freedom.. At least for a while.
"I need a place to be alone" he whispered to the walls knowing that something would show up in the matter of seconds. Finally, after some minutes a door started to come clear of the wall. Harry sighed and entered the Room of Requirements.
Draco stood behind the corner and saw Potter disappear. His face grew serious. Potter wasnt in a pretty good condition. He walked up to the wall and said:
"I need Harry Potter" low, like a whisper. It was true in every word. He needed him more than anything else right now. Draco entered the room. Piles of forgotten and hidden objects reached the celing on every side of him. He didnt think. He walked straight forward and followed the footsteps in the dust on the floor. His heart beat faster when he realized he was getting closer. Closer, much closer. Soo close. If he reached out a hand now.. Right now, he would have touched Potter's back. Draco stopped quickly. He had almost collided with Potter when he had stopped. For some weird reason he didnt know Draco was following him.
He looked around before he sunk to the ground. Draco didnt know what was going on, he stood nailed to the ground and heard quiet sobs coming from the boy in front of him. He sat down behind him, he couldnt keep his hands to himself anymore carefully putting his arms around Potters shaking body, holding him tight, whispering in his ear.
"Shh.. Relax.."
The arms came from nowhere, holding him tight making him unable to escape. When he finally realized who the arms belonged to he was too exhausted to break free.
"Shh, I know" Malfoy continued, putting his head on Harry's shoulder.
"Get o-off me-e!" Harry said trying to regain the control of his voice. But sadly the sobs were still there.
"No"
Harry tried to force Malfoys arms off him, but they didnt move an inch.
"I dont need your insults now, Malfoy. Get off me before I break your face"
"Break it, I'm not going anywhere" Malfoy said with a touch of concern in his voice. Harry clenched his fist and tried to get free of Malfoys grip once more. Without success. He was stuck. Malfoy moved behind him. He stood up, not letting go of Harry. He moved him around and looked into his green swollen eyes.
"I said I'm not going anywhere, neither are you" Harry let his arms down, knowing Malfoy told the truth. Or hoping he was.
"Why are you doing this to yourself? You are constantly twisying the reality.." Malfoy started out.
"Meaning?"
"You look at me, you look away, when I'm trying to figure out why youre running off! Why? It's pretty fucking obvious that I happen to be feeling the same"
"Clear as mud!" Harry growled, tearing himself away from Malfoys tight grip
"Shut up, Potter" He didnt.
"Why are you doing this? To loathe me even more? Oh look, there is Potter! Crying.. Is it so you can be an ass for one more year? Whats your reward? Are you trying to get me? Are you-" the rest of Harrys words turned into silent mumbling when Malfoy dragged him back into his arms and kissed him. He didnt know why it felt right, nor why he kissed back. But he did. All his problems disappeared, everything disappeared. It was just him and Malf-.. Draco, together. When Draco pulled away from him ten seconds later Harry looked at him.
"Why?" he asked not letting go of Draco's hand
"I told you to shut up, you didnt. I found a way to make you listen to what I'm about to tell you-"
Harry opened his mouth to say something but he decided to keep it shut this time, he nodded.
"-You know, even if I am a Slytherin, that doesnt mean that deep inside of me I'm evil. It means that I'm cunning, I know what I want, I also know how to get it, and I do have a heart. I'm truly sorry for all the pain I have caused you and your friends. Recently I have realized that.." he took a break.
"Realized what?" Harry asked still looking deep into Draco's grey eyes, trying to figure out if he actually were telling the truth. When he didnt find any trace of lies his heart skipped several beats.
"This" Draco said taking Harrys hands, he linked his fingers with Harry's and dragged him closer. Their lips met in another kiss. When they broke a part Harry looked at him.
"Why did you seem soo pissed off when you asked me why I was staring at you?" Harry still didnt understand.
"You were, and still are driving me insane, I was afraid to trail off and start spitting my feelings out to you, blowing my chances completely and scare you off, or having you hexing my balls off. I kind of need them" he finished looking at Harry's face.
"Kind of?" Harry laughed
"Prat"
"Yes, thats me. But you still love me!" Draco grinned and dragged him closer again by his tie. He pushed him backwards and further into the room. He stopped and smirked. Harry turned around.
"Funny place to hide a bed" he said and looked at the huge bed covered with green velvet blankets.
"That bed is pretty useful right now" Draco said and moved his hands to Harrys shirt "The thought involves us with remarkably less clothes on"
Clothes were ripped off, moans escaped them both when bare skin met.
Their eyes were filled with lust and want.. Nothing but moans and cries of eachothers names escaped them for an hour.
They got dressed in a hurry and both of them got back to their dorms thirty minutes before the other students woke up. Almost.
Harry walked silently through the portrait hole. Just when he thought no one had heard or seen him someone cleared their throat somewhere in the back of the commonroom.
Hermione's narrow, tired eyes met Harry's. She looked at something and rose from the chair. Something was wrong.. All of her book fell to the floor and she didnt care.
"Harry James Potter, you have some explaining to do!" She said looking sternly at him
"Meaning? I was out for a walk, nothing more" he said and tried to look convincing.
"Then why in the name of Merlin is your tie green?"
xxx
