Team Fortress was the best of the best. With heavy-hitters like Heavy, Demoman, and Soldier, assassins like Spy and Sniper, and quirky people like Medic, Engineer, and Scout, there was no shortage of diversity. All of them knew each other pretty well and had a brother-like bond. Well, almost all of them.
The Pyro was the center of debate and mystery for all of them. Pyro never took off his mask, hardly talked (when he did it sounded like a muffled "MPH MPH!") and had no connections. His only "friends" were the Team Fortress, and as for family, he had none. Your guess as to who or what "he" was is as good as any. Pyro's fellow teammates would spend many nights discussing what may be behind that mask of his.
"I fear no man," Heavy said, "but that thing…it scares me."
"You're absolutely right!" agreed Demoman, "Quite frightening indeed!"
Engineer looked toward Medic. "What do you know about him?"
Medic replied, "What would I possibly know about Pyro that all of you don't know?"
"You've done surgeries on him, right?" asked Engineer, "It's only logical you'd know at least a bit more than us."
"Engineer, I've never done any work on Pyro ever. Pyro always insists on doing it himself." Medic answered.
"He doesn't eat sandwiches with us!" Soldier said loudly, "He eats it by himself! What's his problem?!"
Spy stepped into the room. "Hey guys. Look what I found." He held up a purple purse with pink flowers.
Scout said, "Yeah, so what, it's a—wait, where did you find that?"
"In Pyro's locker." Spy answered.
"You took that from Pyro's locker?!" Sniper exclaimed, "Are you crazy? For Christ's sake, he took out the entire Blu Team for stealing his lunch box! Put that back!"
"Calm down, Crocodile Dundee, I will." Spy replied, rolling his eyes. "It's just—don't you find it a bit odd that someone like Pyro carries a purse?"
"Yeah, it is," Heavy said.
"Maybe that's why he won't talk to us…" Medic suggested, "maybe he's insecure about, well, you know…"
"You're not saying that—oh God, Medic!" Scout replied.
Engineer said, "Alright, everyone, calm down! Look, suppose he is…that…why should we care?"
All of a sudden, Heavy became pale and was staring at the doorway.
"Oh, you look pale, Heavy, what is-"Spy stopped. "Oh, he's here, isn't he?"
All of them focused their attention to the doorway. There stood Pyro, clad in his flame retardant suit and optical mask. He breathed heavily. For what felt like forever, no one said a word. Finally, Pyro let out a "MPH MPH MPH!"
Spy cocked an eyebrow. "What was that, Pyro?"
Pyro said it again; "MPH MPH MPH!"
Spy asked, "I beg your pardon…"
Pyro took off his mask. What was under it surprised all of them. What was under the mask was a woman with blonde hair tied into a bun. She had brown eyes and barely any makeup on. She was very tan as well. All of the team was silent, in shock.
"Alright, which of you a-holes took my purse?" Pyro asked.
