Shellshock (SasuNaru) Chapter One: It's Been A While

--------------------------------------

This is a new story idea that came straight from History class. We were watching a WWI video and it came up with scenes and other things. I really was touched by it, in a sad way. I was appalled at how our world works and seemed to be inspired immediately. So, this is the result.

It's almost like a little break from A Haunting, my ideas are running short and I hate to ask people for ideas (Cough,Umbra,Cough). So, here this is. I quite like it. It needs more detail, but I tried a new style.

I also promise it won't take 7 chapters for the SasuNaruSasu to start really kicking in. XD"

Um, one more thing. This won't be like everything else, but it may have some ideas others have used…? It's going to be Angst/Romance. If I could add another, it would be drama. That's going to be a pretty big part of this.

Oh yeah, this is like a prologue. There's a LONG flashback but it's explanatory and kind of needed to make things clearer in the form of a dream. It's some 2-pages. It's basically the whole prologue.

I'll probably switch up the SasuNaru and NaruSasu. Seme rhymes with teme, but his name also has the word uke in it.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything really. Especially not any anime/manga. I don't own music either. 'Specially the chapter title song.

Rating: Ooh, I dunno. I just kind of have these ideas down. I'm really thinking T/YA. Maybe the curding would kick it up a few notches.

Warnings: It's about two gay guys. It probably won't go too far into citrus. That's not really my style anyway. I also tried a new perspective. You'll see. There's also my music choices. I think it's something Naruto would like. (Total lie). But they're SasuNaru songs. Naruto's POV. A very corrupt Sasuke. TONS of cussing. Hey, Naruto is a huge curser. AU.

--------------------------------------

Shellshock (SasuNaru) Chapter One: Reminiscing

The pounding rhythm of the strumming bass becomes increasingly loud in my ears. My finger slides around the dial again to turn it up. It helps my mind distract itself so that I can focus on something other than the turmoil in my head. It still doesn't help though, nothing ever does. The once sentence is like the lyrics on a broken record…. Repeating….

"I'm leaving."

But why? It was only a memory, right? Two whole years. I'm still young. I have other things to think about.

My stomach begins to feel sick now, again that is. I want to scream. I haven't seen him in all this time, the period since the battle began.

He's been gone for so long. Each day is like this—recently. Due to the news. The goddamn news. It keeps telling everyone that the war is coming to a close. I want to shake it until the cords snap in half. They need to stop bullshitting about all the issues our world has.

It's so pointless to say such a thing; this war was just a petty altercation between our countries.

Still, I miss him. I miss him now. I missed him when he left. And I know I will miss him for however long he's away from this place.

I lightly press the shuffle button again and hear the lyrics whisper into my ears in German. I would try to sing with it if I could, the words are so complicated. I don't do that well with other languages.

It's so depressing mainly for one reason. Right when he became of age, he was gone. They whisked him away so quickly. I never really got to see him for more than a couple hours after his big birthday-let's-get-drunk-bash. I just wish I had taken more time, more time to appreciate our friendship. I feel myself drifting. I never really looked at the time (recently), so all I know is I'm tired, depressed, and hungry. But that last time I got to see him….

[Two Years Ago

Sasuke actually grins for once as his grip tightens on his glass. I smile as well, laughing and swaying to the beat of the song [in a way—completely wasted.

"You're 18 now, bluthy. That means you're now dllrinking perfectly legalizzzzzed. Dattebay-o." I laugh again.

The raven just snickers, "Since when does that make your drinking legalized?"

I just smile wider and tip my glass higher in the air, "I'unno."

I can tell Sasuke's just trying to show how much older he is than me, bastard. It's only by (three plus) a couple months.

"You're stoned, dobe. Let's go. I'm not getting drunk the day of my birthday."

I pout, sticking my lips out to exaggerate the gesture. He seems to be immune to it and throws me over his shoulder. I'm honestly too drunk to do anything, so he continues his short journey to his place. The contact feels nice, as it's a cool night. His birthday's almost over. I just know it.

The next thing I feel is being thrown onto something soft. My vision is blurred and I don't know what at all is going on. My hearing is fine, though a little numb; I can hear Sasuke changing into something to sleep in. He steps out once to get something and comes back in later, by that time; I'm only half awake.

My head hurts pretty badly, I groan. Hangovers suck. I'm not used to waking up without hearing some kind of rock in my ears. It feels odd.

Oh yeah….

"Sasuke?" I cough, feeling sick suddenly.

"Try to make it to the bathroom."

With the only comment I could hear, I run quickly to the bathroom. Leaning over the porcelain bowl, I cough one more time and vomit into the waiting water. I still feel horrible afterwards though. I hate getting sicknesses' like this. Always friggen' self-caused.

Moments later, Sasuke walks in, in all his glory of just the boxers he always sleeps in. This tells me it can't be so late. Probably early morning. He smirks at my current state, and I just glare back at him, getting up and washing any excess material off my face.

"What?" I snap.

His smile is fading fast and he gestures for me to come into the living room with him. I quickly oblige. He grabs my hands possessively. I flinch at the sudden action. Repeating myself again, Sasuke sits me down on the leather couch.

"Naruto…." The second he begins I notice his hoarse tone. This isn't going to be good.

"I… I…"

I'm beginning to feel uneasy around him now; Sasuke Uchiha does not get nervous.

"Sasuke…." My hand lightly makes contact with his. He moves away. He can't look me in the eyes, it's obvious.

He pushes a letter into my hands. I quirk an eyebrow, suspicious.

"Dobe…." He warns lowly.

I nod in a response. He wants me to open it. What can it really be that's bothering him so much? He's never like this.

I open the letter that had been folded more than once. It reads clearly. At first I just nod at it, seeing the address, who it's to, whom it's from. The simple things. But then I get to the actual text.

I gape at even the first sentence. I suddenly feel sick again. But it's not from a hangover. I look over at Sasuke. He's stressing over this. His grip on the couch arm tightens and I clutch my hand into a fist. It's true. Everything that was once happy is now killed and buried along with my family.

"Well, you're not going. Are you?" I quickly move my hand to his shoulder and shake it.

He swats my hand away, "What choice do I have?"

"You can't be serious! Sasuke, this is like a death sentence!"

Sasuke looks back up at me, staring intently, pensively.

"I'll do something simple, Naruto. Like the navy or something. Maybe a technological person. Think about it, the experience will make me stronger."

I bury my face into my hands; unable to really listen to what he's saying. I can feel his own wrap around mine in restraint but all I can focus on is the horrible feeling in my stomach. I don't want to lose him, I don't, I don't—

"Naruto!" Sasuke yells.

I look back up to meet his gaze. He looks distressed, I believe I caused that.

His hands released my own and in one movement were cupped around my cheeks. I want to pull away but don't, not knowing why. Sasuke makes me look him in the eyes, I try to avoid, futilely.

"I accept everything that will come to me, Usuratonkachi. That's the way… things just have to be." His hands fall loosely to his sides and he smiles faintly.

I shake my head, he's lying, he's lying. He must be lying!

"Sasuke, no! Don't, please! Don't leave me! Don't leave Sakura! Please, please, PLEASE!—"

I violently shake my heat. Droplets of sweat go in every direction. I'm covered in the salty substance. I can't believe it's replaying again. I wish I could get a sign, just to know he was alright. I've been worried about him all this time.

I'd never before had a friend like the Uchiha. I can't believe what losing him has done to me.

It even affected our other friend, Sakura. We've been close friends since I can remember. The war stole her away too. It was something about her being a medical expert and them needing her fast working abilities to be utilized. She left not too long ago, nine months at most.

We have had such a high death rate too. They won't post the names either, they'd much rather leave me hanging. Everyone is left hanging.

I lost connection with my two friends the second they left. Apparently the training camps are just about as bad as you can imagine. They must've of stripped them of anything they owned. I myself called their phones about a billion times, they never returned anything.

But the part that gets me the most, is that he lied to me.

Sasuke lied straight through his pretty teeth.

I somehow find my way to his house… again.

"Fuck." I say quietly.

This place brings back everything. This used to be our "secret" hangout, we'd always be here. No matter what. Whether it be studying, laughing, or playing games. I miss those days. I'd kill to get them back.

I just recently turned 19. If he were here, we'd be going to college together. We even had plans to go together so that we could open a business or continue his father's. All of that was now just a faint memory.

I walk up the stairs. If he was here, we would. But he's not. I've been out of school for a year now. I can't say it has really been that great. I would've skipped a year anyway with my friends, but I would be going back very soon.

Would've, should've, could've.

Present time, present memories.

I end up in his room and stay for a while, running my fingers over things, just to get the feeling of the old times. I sigh; I don't believe just hoping will bring him back. But, do I want to risk my life in the war just to try and see him—?

"Nah." I scratch the back of my head and run out of the house, locking the door.

I keep running, with ease though, I'm not so much worried anymore. I try to think of other things. The trees are all shedding their leaves so the small shapes flutter and cascade around me. I feel so much better that I'm here. Still though….

I slow to a walk at my home. As I step closer I notice the mail's been here. I can see the truck at Ms. Ayuya's house. I see her step out of her home and she smiles to me. I bow my head lightly and return the smile with a wave.

"Good morning!"

I wave once again before turning my head to the small box resting near my small home. I open it, this isn't the time that I usually get bills—because it's only the middle of the month—but it seems to be rather empty when there are no bills. Maybe a magazine or catalogue. But never an actual letter this time.

"Eh?"

I bring it inside and carry it to the kitchen counter. I'm not sure what to do with it, so I poke at it for a bit. There's nothing on the front but my address, no return one, and nothing else specific.

I slowly slide my thumb under the seal and in a quick motion, it's torn. I'm thinking that maybe it's a notice or something else of the sort. Flipping the folded paper out as a whole, I glance over the entire document. It's long.

Dear Mr. Uzumaki,

We want to inform you of our community—blah blah—Mr. Uchiha has become eligible for honorable discharge—blah bl—huh?!

I shake the paper at the sight of his name. I smile, I grin, I even start laughing.

"Discharge! That means you're comin' home!" I jump from my seat.

—On the account of presumed mental insanity.

I stop. Mental? That can't be right! Sasuke isn't mental. A little corrupted, yes, but not insane. I continue reading.

He will receive $3000 for his discharge. This money is to be used however he likes. The government is in no way responsible for his mental damage. Mr. Uchiha is currently residing in a hospital and being cared for by a specialized nurse. We do not have updates on his condition and the address will be at the bottom. Because he has no living relatives, he has entrusted himself with you. Mr. Uchiha signed these forms before he even entered the war. The certificate will include any extra information on this fine soldier. The certificate is included in this envelope.

I nearly fainted. That wasn't even all of it. So, Sasuke was being discharged from the war as a supposed vegetable and no one could do anything about it. Not even me. I turn around and go back to my music, seeing if it will calm me down some.

I don't bother to read the rest, as I am now looking towards the fine blue paper containing special information.

Apparently, Sasuke was a sniper. It notes how he always hated killing people and he was the main subordinate of Captain Orochimaru. There were many captains, and Orochimaru was supposedly the most brutal. His notes are telling me that Sasuke would always give the other a fighting chance at life, skimming vital organs and how he would sometimes rush out and ask if the other was alright.

I almost smile. Sasuke's true nature contains some sincerity. He really isn't a cold-hearted killer they tried to make him be.

It says nothing about how the damage could've been caused, and no way for it to be treated. It says he'll be like this for some time. It worries me. I want Sasuke back, him and his personality. It advises for some classes to be possibly taken to help me cope with him. I don't see how it's taken so lightly.

I will go to the hospital in the morning. I really can't imagine the state Sasuke's in. I just keep telling myself that at least he's not dead. He's still alive. Not healthy by any means, but alive.

I open my eyes again, I can't sleep anyway. It's finally seven in the morning. I think the hospital opens for visitors at somewhere around nine. I don't know when Sasuke will be arriving there, I hope I can meet him right away.

Not having a car is the worst right now, at this time. I have to take a taxi to the place. It will take a while, the driver's in no hurry. He'd love to take all my money.

He pulls up and offers his hand—for money—and I grudgingly place the sum into his greedy hands. He mutters his thanks and I run through the parking lot.

It's a rather nice place, many stories high and obviously expensive. I decide right here that the three thousand might be spent here. I really hope the government pays for Sasuke's expense.

That aside in my mind, I race up to the desk and politely talk to the lady. She directs me to his room, her face showing a pitying expression. I think she sympathizes me. Has she seen him?

The walk seems to be getting longer by the second. The nurse isn't really paying attention, so I simply ask her what room my friend's in. She replies that it will be in a certain unit, number 012606.

I nod once I have the coordinates. I start back down, still afraid of what is to come for me. I grab my mp3 and turn the soft music on. I want something to give me confidence. Not that I don't have any, not at all. I'm very confident. I just need something to comfort me.

I flip through the play lists and come to Oasis. I can only think of one of their songs that would probably calm me the most right now. I scroll to the bottom.

I listen to the soft strumming of the guitar in my ears. It's so soothing.

Today is gonna be the day,
That they're gonna throw it back to you.
By now you should've somehow,
Realized what you gotta do,
I don't believe that anybody.
Feels the way I do about you now.

I almost completely relax when the cello starts to play.

Backbeat the word was on the street,
That the fire in your heart is out.
I'm sure you've heard it all before,
But you never really had a doubt.
I don't believe that anybody feels,
The way I do about you now.

I begin to mouth the words. The music really is making me feel a lot better about this.

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding,
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding.
There are many things that I would,
Like to say to you,
I don't know how.

Because maybe,
You're gonna be the one who saves me…?
And after all,
You're my wonderwall.

I stop the song as I approach the mental care unit of the hospital. It's pretty much all a pale white. Some rooms are designed differently form the others, and I believe they cut off a whole section for the people coming from the war. There must be a lot of them.

Taking off my headphones, I gulp, I don't know if I should really go in. I didn't take any classes—not that I think they would help—in preparation for this.

I knock lightly on the door and I hear a grunt. My ear presses to the door as I await for some nurse or medical field person to answer. The footsteps are light and slow.

The door is heavy, as I note from the person's troubled attempts at opening it. I'm beginning to feel even more nervous. If this caretaker can't even open a door, how do they take care of Sasuke? They seem like they'd hurt him more than help him.

The door creaks open and I just stand while the other person seems to be peering through the crack. I continue to look on, tilting my head.

"Um. Hello?"

I take a step back to allow the person to open the door all the way without being in danger of it myself. I can't see the person's features, as the whole room's lights' are off. It's almost a little confusing, I want to know who's looking at me. I shift slightly.

The door suddenly swings open. I gasp. It almost hits me, almost. My eyes widen considerably. Well shit, look who's there.

"Sa-Sasu—" I stop, in mid-sentence.

A dark figure steps out, "Dobe."

From the tone of his voice, I could tell right away… he wasn't the same.

He's shaking. I can see it. He could barely even croak the nickname. It looks like he wants to correct himself, say something else. He looks horrible. There are large black bags under his eyes and he's in one of those stupid hospital gowns.

However, in reality, I don't even care. I don't care that he left me, I just care that he's okay. He's alive. Sasuke's covered in bandages though. Some dry bloodstains are overlapping the snow-white wraps, and I'm guessing they're bullet holes. I almost freak out right there, the bullet holes scaring me the most.

He stares at me with those coal eyes, black as night. They're completely empty. Not like they used to be. They used to be… less… empty. Like more of a person. Now he just looks like a walking rock.

Where was the cocky smirk?

"Well look at you!" I try to start off on a happy note, "The hell do you think you're tryin' to be, a mummy?"

I chuckle to suppress tears. He looks so horrible….

"Naruto…" He trails, actually using my name.

His eyes evade anything related to me. The Uchiha can't seem to suppress tears as well as I (sort of) can. His whole exterior makes my grin fade. I feel bad now, trying to crack a joke at a time like this was so stupid. How could I be such a dumbass?!

Sasuke spreads his arms wide and practically falls on me. It was as if I was expecting it, because I don't do much in reaction but hug him back. Tears form at the corner of my eyes, I don't know whether it's from happiness or just mixed emotions.

I hold the taller boy closer to me. He's not insane, an insane person wouldn't do this. They wouldn't recognize me. Our faces are in each other's shoulders and we're both bawling like a couple of broken-up schoolgirls. I feel kind of stupid, but this is good. It's good for the both of us.

"Why were you there by yourself? Shouldn't you have an assistant?" I ask gently, rubbing my palm in circles around the small of his back.

"I-I needed… to g-get out of… there, Naruto. I-It was… horrible…."

It was so unlike Sasuke. He'd never stutter. Never.

Sasuke one again sniffs, he's getting angry with himself. It's like he prepared for this moment. I think we both have.

"What was so bad about it?" I try to keep my anger from coming out.

I want to ask him so much more. He wasn't ready for this, and he went anyway. I stop crying. My head hurts now, but I ignore it. There's someone here who's just slightly more important than my hurting head at the moment.

"Naruto…. I'm a murderer." He bites out.

I know this already. That's the point of war, is it not? He's been holding this in all this time, hasn't he? He's never talked to anyone about this.

I can tell everything just by the way he speaks. He's broken up into little pieces. I'm realizing exactly what I have to do as he's lurching onto my stomach. Some has to put him back together.

I still don't understand why Sasuke's saying he's a murderer though. He was a fricken' sniper. His mission was probably to blow the enemies to bits with grenades and machine guns. I don't see why he would sign up for such a task.

Then again, as I think more, a sniper is exactly what Sasuke would want to be doing. That's just like him, to choose the most dangerous and thrilling job. He didn't even realize he didn't have the emotional strength to relentlessly murder enemy soldiers and swiftly move on to the next, all in the midst of worrying whether or not this is your last day.

"Sasuke… you were defending our land. You're a hero, dattebayo." Is the best I can muster at the current moment.

Sasuke shakes his head, the messy raven locks fall into my face, obstructing my view. He chokes on his spit, going into a fit of coughing. I still can't believe what a mess he is. I suppose it could be a lot worse, he could be in a coma, or retarded, or overly-paranoid, or hearing voices, or amnesias, or paralyzed, or—I'm stopping myself there.

I feel like I can't let go of him. I don't want to. I'm deciding in my head about which house we should live in. I'll certainly have to get a job now. He's probably going to be choice C from above. I'm afraid of that. Actually, am I? Here I am, holding on to my best friend in the whole world. Sure, he's a little fucked up now, but I'll fix him.

I really have to admit to myself though, I've never seen one of my friends like this.

"Sssh," I try to soothe. He takes in a heavy breath and I continue, "We can talk about it later."

There we go. I wonder is anyone caught the relevance to Sasuke's room number and his ninja registration number. O.o Haha. I was bored. And it's officially the biggest hospital in the universe.

The first song (if you must know) the one that isn't really lyric-afied, is called Whisper of the Beast by Megaherz. Second played is Wonderwall by Oasis. It just screams SasuNaru if you ask me.

Anyway, this is, as I said, a new story inspired by a WWI video. This will be an interesting story and the setting… well, I don't have any specifics in mind.

Figure out what the title means yet? Or why it's the title?

P.S: Took me foreeveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer. And the sad thing is that it was only around 10 pages.