It consumed him. It always had. What was he fighting anyway? He knew how he felt about Beverly. Why did he hide it so? They'd had years of odd moments, tender moments and downright aggravating moments. And through it all, he loved her. He had to admit that to himself. He thought she felt the same although there were times he just wasn't sure. That's what was holding him back. Uncertainty. But so many years had passed between them. They had such a precious friendship. He could be jeopardizing it. Or making it better. He threw the book he'd been trying to read across his room in annoyance. "Damn her!" he said exasperated as he got up and stormed out of his quarters.

"Come!" Beverly said when she heard the chime. She'd been relaxing, listening to some music, and looking over a new medical journal. "Good evening Jean Luc!" she greeted warmly, her smile having an immediate calming effect on him.

"I hope I'm not disturbing you," he said, minding his manners.

"No of course not," she said, leaving the table where she had been sitting to move to the couch. "Sit. Talk to me."

He joined her on the familiar couch. Words flooded his mind and he didn't even know where to start.

"How silly of me," she said, before he had a chance to speak, walking over to the replicator. "Earl Grey tea, hot."

"Thank you," he said when she joined him on the couch with his tea. "You always seem to read my mind."

She smiled, her eyes sparkling. "I have for years now," she said simply.

"Ah, yes. It has been a number of years now hasn't it?" he said, sipping his tea.

"They've been wonderful years," she said. "I honestly can't imagine life without you, Jean Luc. I mean, who else would I be able to order around?" They shared a laugh.

"Yes I remember one time where you refused to let me leave sickbay when we were fearful of a Klingon attack," he said, enjoying his memory. "I was so irritated with you then."

"I know," she said, enjoying the same memory. "But I knew what was best for you."

He allowed his eyes to meet hers. "You usually do," he agreed.

They talked for an hour, laughing and talking of old times. Both were feeling an odd intimacy because of all the reminiscing. They'd actually forgotten just how close they really were until some stories surfaced.

"Beverly, I..." he started and then stopped.

"Yes?" she said.

"Oh nothing," he said, setting his cup down on the small table.

She placed her hand on his forearm. "Jean Luc, please finish what you were going to say."

Inhaling deeply, he sat back against the couch, aware of her hand still on his arm. "There's something I've wanted...no...needed to tell you," he began. "But because of...fear of what might happen, I've refrained."

Beverly sat a little closer to him, allowing her hand to lightly move up and down his arm. "I'm not afraid," she said quietly. "Please tell me."

He searched her eyes and found a longing there. His heart was pounding in his chest and he wondered if she heard it. "I have strong feelings for you, Beverly," he finally said.

"Strong?" she repeated, a small smile on her beautiful face.

"Yes...I ...care for you immensely," he stammered. "Beyond our friendship."

The look on her face seemed to say she wanted so bad to believe but wasn't sure if she should. "Beverly, I love you," he blurted out.

She covered her mouth with her hands as her eyes filled with tears. "You love me?" she repeated. "Oh Jean Luc you've no idea how I've longed to hear you tell me that."

Tons were lifted off his shoulders as he hugged her tightly to him. "You've no idea how I've longed to tell you," he said, heart bursting with happiness. He released his hold, but still kept her close, touching her lips with his finger before his lips touched hers. Small kisses melted into wet passionate kisses, igniting years worth of desire. "Should we..." he whispered nearly breathless from their fire as he held her in his arms.

"Yes," she breathed, her own desire consuming her. They quickly made their way to her bed, leaving a trail of clothes behind them. Laying in bed, Jean Luc pulled Beverly's naked body against his own. Their hands caressed and squeezed and teased until neither could stand it. Jean Luc covered her warm body with his. His face less than an inch above her, Jean Luc whispered, "Beverly I've wanted to make love to you for so long."

She adjusted her legs around his muscular body and said, "I've fantasized about you making love to me hundreds of times."

He slowly slid into her, both instantly moaning with pleasure, as Beverly held onto him while he gently thrust his hips. He filled her completely and she simply couldn't get enough.

"Oh yes...harder," Beverly coaxed, pulling him to her, raising her hips to feel more of him. Breathing heavily, oblivious to the world around them, they indulged in their burning passions. Hands gripping skin tightly, they reached climax, moaning loudly, bodies spasming into the other. Chests heaving, Jean Luc relaxed on top of her, hers arms wrapped around him.

"Oh god, Beverly," he breathed.

"I love you," she said.

He raised up to meet her loving gaze with his own. "I love you...now and forever," he said, lightly kissing her lips. He laid behind her, holding her warm body close. He felt as if he were glowing. This is how it should be. This was right.

Moments passed, Jean Luc fighting sleep. Carefully, he climbed from the bed, dressing while he stared at the sleeping beauty. A sad expression clouded his face as he sighed heavily.

"Computer end program," he said with disappointment. As the scene of Beverly's quarters disappeared, he said to himself, "If I only I had the nerves to do that for real."