Seeing the light

By Laura Morris

Disclaimer: J/C fluff, Paramount owns all the characters etc. The story ideas are all mine. Feedback always welcome!

Kathryn stared at the open window as if it held all the answers to her questions. Home for six weeks, her life had changed so dramatically she didn't recognise it, or half the people who claimed to be a part of it. The most bizarre thing was the constant knocking on the door by lawyers, journalists and 'old friends' for the first month. However, as she had expected, they had all lost interest when she refused to hire them, sell her story, comment or couldn't remember who they were. Now she heard nothing apart from birdsong in her apartment. Mark had Petunia, and the one puppy he had chosen to keep in his new home in England. He had moved there to live with his wife. When Kathryn had visited him she had seen how happy he was. They had the life Mark used to describe to Kathryn on lazy Sunday mornings in bed when they were younger, in between making love. A domestic idyll. Both worked in independent fields, both gloriously bright and successful, with a little girl called Elizabeth, who at only two years old looked as if she would be following in their footsteps.

Kathryn was alone, she had no one. Her mother and her sister lived just two minutes walk away, but she rarely visited them. She felt awkward around them, she felt like they looked upon her as a walking ghost, They needed time to get used to everything, and in her mind smothering them with her attention wouldn't help. Her only remaining friends on Earth were either dead from the various wars the alpha quadrant had seen in recent years, or were part of Voyager's crew. The crew had been ordered not to contact each other for three months after they had returned to the alpha quadrant for security reasons. She was reluctant to call the alpha quadrant home, as after all this time Voyager was more of a home to her. She missed everyone so much. She missed Tom, B'Elanna and their daughter, Harry, Tuvok, and Chakotay. She probably missed Chakotay the most. She missed sitting down at the end of each day for a drink or dinner and talking about the events of the day, crew reports, or just generally gossiping. There wasn't a single person in the universe who she felt closer to than Chakotay. Now they were back, her beloved Starfleet had taken away all her support mechanisms. She felt lost.

Tomorrow she had a final de-briefing with the admirals at Starfleet headquarters. The trials for the ex-maquis members of Voyager's crew would go into the final stage tomorrow also. She was lucky enough to receive status reports on her crew as a privilege of position. Harry Kim had been offered a post on the newly commisioned USS Excellor as second in command. He was allowed to choose as many of the crew of Voyager as he liked, as long as they were starfleet, to join him on the first mission. He had chosen just ten members, but had also made an unauthorised request in asking that Tom Paris and his family join his crew too, on the family ship. Stafleet had yet to respond to his requests.

The maquis were proving a far harder issue for Starfleet to resolve than they had originally thought. Their first agenda had been that all members of the Liberty should be sent to penal colonies, but when the admiralty had spoken to Captain Janeway, they realised that the maquis had lived out their sentence already on Voyager in effect. All with no exception were fine examples of Starfleet officers. After seven days deliberation the admirals of Starfleet decided that they would put the ex-maquis of Voyager on trial., If found to no longer pose a threat to peace within the united federation of planets, then they would be free to go and be offered full time positions within Starfleet.

The last week of 'The Grand Trial of Voyager' as it was colloquially known was due to be over in just a couple of days time. The jury was out now deciding on the fate of Captain Janeway's beloved crew. One man in particular was important to her. She needed to see Chakotay, to hear his voice, look into his eyes, feel his physical presence.

Right now, Kathryn had lost everything dear to her, and more hurtful was that the organisation she had loved and had devoted her whole life to had taken that life away from her. She wondered at very morbid moments if they had all died, if she might not find it easier. They were all so tantalisingly close to her, held in 'private accommodation' at Starfleet Headquarters.