Kami-sama knows WHY I am writing this…somehow, I came up with this idea, when I was tap dancing and watching Spongebob, hmmm strange huh? OH I don't own Bleach, if I did? Oh the possibilities hee hee hee hee :)

Hi 8D

Every once and awhile, Aizen saw it necessary to give his espada a "vacation". He also gave each espada a choice to go on vacation in order of their numbers. This time it was Grimmjow's turn, and thus this cracky tale begins begins!!! .

During an Espada meeting

Aizen quickly scanned over the group in front of him of him. He took a sip of the herbal tea then set the cup down and smiled. "Well, my dear espada, I feel that-" There was a loud thump and everyone glanced at Stark who had fallen asleep again. Halibel shook her head and kicked Stark under the table; Stark sat up suddenly and was instantly startled by all the eyes staring at him. "What?" Halibel sighed and rolled her eyes, then Aizen coughed rather loudly, which brought back the attention of everyone again. "As I was saying, I think you all deserve a vacation!""Aizen sat there with a large grin, expecting some kind of reaction from the Arrancar. A couple of minutes passed where nobody said anything, or did anything, I mean none of them even blinked for crying out loud!

"Well, yes anyways, as you know, Zomari chose the last vacation site for you all, and I believe it is Grimmjow's turn to choose this time," Grimmjow perked up at the sound of his name, "You what now?" Aizen smiled at the blue-haired espada "Grimmjow it's your turn to choose where the 10 of you are going for vacation," Grimmjow nodded and ignored all the stares he was receiving from everyone "Sure, I choose St Martin's orient" Ulquiorra looked at Grimmjow and glared for a short while "Grimmjow isn't that-"

"THEN IT'S DECIDED! YOU'RE ALL GOING TO ST MARTIN'S ORIENT!" Grimmjow grinned to himself. "Aizen-sama, I really think that you should look at what St.Martin's orient is," Ulquiorra said, slightly uneasy by Grimmjow's grin "Nonsense, no one questioned you when you decided to go to America!" Everyone shuddered at the flashback…Nightclubs…strippers…New York…lost clothes, need I say more?

Ulquiorra stayed silent, a sign of defeat. "Well now that's decided, you are dismissed!" The Arrancar stood up and made their way to the door. Nnoitora walked up behind Grimmjow and bent down slightly, so he could speak face to face with him. "Grimmjow, do really think it is a good idea to go there? You know what's there, and I'm not entirely sure the rest of the espada would approve, especially Ulquiorra, being the little ass-kisser he is is," Grimmjow grinned again "Yes, I'm pretty damn sure the emo clown will appreciate this vacation" They both looked at the back of Ulquiorra as he turned the corner and stalked off to his room. They both chuckled and split up to go to their rooms, lord knows why, but they had to pack clothes…that looked exactly the same.

Like 45 minutes later!

All 10 arrancar were stood waiting in the throne room, waiting for Aizen to show up with Gin and Tousen, their "would be" guardians whilst on vacation. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Nnoitora took out a random pack of cards and began a short game of go fish with Szayel and Halibel. Eventually Aizen strutted in with Gin and Tousen following in afterwards. Gin still had that foxy smile in place and was starting to creep the hell out of everyone that looked directly at him.

"Well everyone got their stuff?" Gin said happily. The arrancar just stared "Damn emotionless bastards…" he muttered, earning a hit round the head from Tousen. Aizen opened up that portal type thing and looked at everyone.

"Well, first things first, you are all gonna go by plane!" Everyone sweat dropped, Ulquiorra looked at Aizen as if he was a madman (well technically, he was, but that's not the point) "Aizen-sama, won't we need gigais? And wouldn't it make sense to just go straight there then waste time on a "plane"?" Aizen chuckled "Well, I thought it'd be a nice experience for you all, and Gin's just going to get your gigais!" Gin had just disappeared, not that anyone cared, a few moments ago and was back with a whole load of bodies.

"Everyone get into yer gigais! There's one that'll look exactly like ya, with a few minor adjustments!" The espada went and collected their gigais, looking at them and inspecting them.

"Wait, these gigais-" Ulquiorra began "There ain't no skull fragments or holes or shit, and why is this sucking up some of my reiatsu, it's starting to piss me off!" Grimmjow said, dropping it on the ground like it was something nasty and infected. There were a few crude complaints, but the one that earned most attention was probably Nnoitora's or Halibel's, probably same, what do you think?

"MY BOOBS ARE BIGGER THEN THESE ONES DAMN IT!!!" Halibel screeched, earning a look of "WTF?!" from just about everyone, apart from Gin…because his grin just owns and pwnz everything. "I'M A DAMN MIDGET????!! WHAT THE HELL? I'M EVEN SHORTER THEN ULQUIORRA!!!" God I hate bullying Ulquiorra, he's to friggin' sexy to be bullied damn it - ) Ulquiorra had an anger mark thing on his head and just narrowly avoided smashing in Nnoitora's head with a spork (SPORK ARMY UNITE!)

Aizen sweatdropped and started to get annoyed by all the comments. "LISTEN UP YOU BASTARDS, JUST PUT THE DAMN THINGS ON, OR I'LL NEUTER YOU ALL!!!" All the guys gasped and held onto their manhoods in protection; obviously Halibel wasn't affected because she didn't have those problems…apart from the you know…"Time of month" or PMS (LAWLS all females gain SUPER HUMAN STRENGTH BECAUSE OF IT guys out there…beware MWAHAHAHAHAHA) Everyone slipped on the gigais and began experimenting with their movements. Grimmjow was jumping up and down and noticed that he wasn't jumping as high as he normally could. "Oi Aizen, what's with these things, we can't do nothing like normal"

Gin's grin, grew a little bit "That's because the gigais restrict your own non human like powers, you'll still have your swordsmanship skills of course, it's just that we don't ya all to go around killing things…and people, it's not good for a cover up and vacation you know?" Grimmjow rolled his eyes and 'tched' at Gin's response. "Aizen-sama, I think it's best we leave, the espada do seem to be getting a bit reckless," Tousen said, referring to Nnoitora and Szayel looking like they were about to tear each other apart. "Hmm yes, we have been here to long, alright you assholes, through the portal you go!" Aizen began picking up and throwing random arrancar into the portal Gin and Tousen went in last. Before the portal completely closed, Aizen shouted "AND DON'T FORGET TO GET MEH A SOUVENIR!!!"

Inside the portal thing

"Gin…did Aizen-sama seem a bit…animated to you?" Gin looked at his blind partner and scratched his chin thoughtfully "Now that you mention it… I think I may have put a bit too much sugar in his tea…" "Do you think he'll be ok?"

Back in Las Notches

"WOOT WOOT EVERYBODY PARTAY!!!! RAVE RAVE RAVE!!!!!" Aizen was currently running around shirt less and hosting a random party…with lot's of tea and shit. There was DJ and everything so it was like awesome and shit, somehow The entire Soul Society had got into the party.

Back to the portal

"Yeah I'm sure he'll be fine! Hey I think we're there!" Gin and Tousen stepped out of the portal and looked at the nine in front of them. "Yeah I'm pretty damn sure they are all here, oh wait where's Grimmjow?" "He said something about wanting a 'doughnut' or something gay like that, so he went off to get one" Nnoitora answered looking around at all the people. "Damn there's a lotta humans here…"

A couple minutes of finding trolleys for their luggage, Grimmjow came back with a doughnut in his mouth and bearing six large bags of food. "Bloody hell, Grimmjow you gonna eat all that?!" Grimmjow shrugged, swallowed the doughnut in his mouth and took out another doughnut from one of the bags. "These things are pretty tasty; the humans here make good shit…" "Oi pass me one fat boy," Szayel shouted "Who you calling fat? you gay piece of queer Go get your own!" "I said pass me one damn it!" Grimmjow and Szayel began a small brawl after that. Gin shook his head and looked at them both. "At this rate, we should probably just leave them here…" Watching the two fight, the espada were beginning to think the same thing.

Stark sighed and pulled them apart, giving a doughnut to Szayel and patting Grimmjow on the head. Everyone pretty much stared at him with a "WTF??!!" look. "What? They were acting like kids…I just thought you had to sort them out like kids…" Well, you couldn't defy that logic, Since it was pretty much correct anyways. Szayel stuck his tongue out at Grimmjow and stared at the doughnut oddly "…What if it's poisoned?" Everyone growled "Look just eat the damned thing already!" Ulquiorra said, getting pretty much pissed off. Szayel shrugged and took a large bite out of the doughnut; he chewed it slowly then swallowed. "Hey, this isn't bad" Without warning Nnoitora snatched up the rest of the doughnut and plopped it in his mouth. "Pink and Grimmjow are right; these things are quite tasty actually"

"For the love of Aizen, could we PLEASE go and get on the damn plane already, the faster this damned trip is over, the happier I'll be, now MOVE YOUR ASSES!!!" Halibel said, I mean ordered. Everyone nodded hurriedly and began walking silently to the fast track line.

"Ok, which one of us has the passports?" Halibel asked. Everyone checked their things and Ulquiorra pulled out 12 passports from his pocket. "They're here…I think…" "Right then, everyone grab a partner and stay like that until this trip is over" Gin said taking the passports.

Tousen walked off with Gin to get their tickets. Everyone one was silent for a while Until Stark got one of the bags that Grimmjow bought, and started handing out random food products. Let's see I think, it was an apple, 5 more doughnuts (Grimmjow was furious of course, arguing that they were HIS doughnuts), some crisps (prawn cocktail) and three packets of pocky. Nnoitora, Szayel and Grimmjow went straight for the doughnuts and growled at just about everybody who tried to come near them. Halibel took the strawberry/chocolate pocky. Zomari took a doughnut when the three arrancar were distracted, the old guy (don't know his name yet XD) took a doughnut as well. Stark and Yami took the other packets of pocky. Which left the crisps and the apple for Ulquiorra and Aaroniero (he's in Kaien's body form by the way )"Shiny…" Ulquiorra grabbed the apple and stared at its surface "Is this…edible?"

A few minutes starring at the apple, he shrugged and took a large chomp out of it. "It's…adequate…" He took another bite out of the apple and just sat on the luggage, looking at nothing in particular. Gin and Tousen came back a minute later holding 12 tickets. "Everyone got a partner?" No one said anything and seemed to be ignoring them altogether. Gin sighed, but his grin didn't falter.

"Hey, uh Tousen?"

"Yes Nnoitora?"

"It is it normal for your bag to moving?"

"No…"

"well…that is just plain creepy…" Nnoitora looked at the shifting bag on the trolley. Everyone saw its movements as well, but Grimmjow was the only one who approached it. He prodded it with his finger, the shifting stopped. Grimmjow opened up the zipper and stepped back, expecting some kind of creature to jump out at him. When nothing happened, he took a few steps forward and peered into the bag.

Grimmjow immediately got hit in the face…by a hand? Grimmjow jumped back and growled at the bag. Ulquiorra walked up to Tousen's bag and pulled out the hand and its owner. "Oh dear Aizen… Tousen did he sneak into the bag, or did you put him in there?" Tousen just stood there, trying to remember what he had put into his bag. "I do believe Wonderweiss snuck into the bag when I wasn't… around" Wonderweiss yawned, rubbed his eyes and was immediately struck by all the glares he was receiving. Gin petted Wonderweiss' head "Well I guess we gotta get you a passport then!" Wonderweis pried off Ulquiorra's fingers and dropped head first onto the ground. A little brown book fell out of his pocket. Gin picked it up "Well then, that's sorted, everyone ready to go on board?" Nearly everyone grunted. Gin twitched, "Well then, everyone grab a partner and we'll be on our way!"

Everyone chose the person standing nearest to them.

Halibel-Stark

Nnoitora-Szayel

Zomari-Yami

Old guy (still don't know his name XD)-Aaroniero

Ulquiorra looked at Grimmjow and Wonderweiss 'Damn it, why am I always stuck with the dumb asses?' He thought massaging his temples. Tousen approached Wonderweiss and took his hand "Wonderweiss, come with me, I'll make sure you don't get lost, or hurt anyone," Wonderweiss was then lead off babbling about god knows what and staring at everything that moved. Ulquiorra looked at Grimmjow solemnly, Grimmjow was watching a little 7-year-old girl eat half a doughnut and throw it in the bin. Grimmjow growled and swore at the little girl, before digging in the bin to get it out. Ulquiorra got hit in the face with a greasy fish and chip wrapper, he could tell that this was going to be a loooooong day.

Well meh first bleach story or something or other, well hopefully this might be more successful then my other Naruto stories, well that's unlikely lol, well since you had the decency to read this piece of crap I might as well give you an insight to the next chapter, if I get round to writing it, Oh if you like Naruto, go onto my Profile and either read "Who the Hell said Babies were a bundle of Joy" and/or "Sakura's sleepover party" well anyways, ONTO THE PREVIEW!!

"What do you mean Szayel's in custody, what did he do?" Gin asked looking at Ulquiorra, confused as hell.

"Apparently, he had a load of needles, syringes, "drugs" and other crap in his bag" Ulquiorra answered, not looking too bothered by the current situation.

Grimmjow tuned into the conversation "Wait, the idiot wanted to do experiments on holiday too didn't he?" Ulquiorra nodded

Gin sighed "Well guess we gotta say he's a Doctor or something, if not, prepare to get his Bail money ready." Ulquiorra nodded again and walked towards one of the security guards. He came back a couple minutes later, frowning a bit

Gin was disturbed by Ulquiorra's frown "Ulquiorra, how much is his bail?"

"They said it would come to at least be around ¥530,000 (approx £2,500/ $5000), either we pay, or he gets a six month prison sentence"

Grimmjow's jaw dropped "That's a hell of a lotta money…I say we just leave him there, then bust him out later"

Everyone muttered in agreement, Gin ignored them

"Oh that's ok then," Gin put his grin back on, Ulquiorra guessed that what he said hadn't made to Gin's brain properly. It took a few minutes before it clicked. Gin's red eyes shot open and his grin disappeared, his mouth hung open in surprise. Grimmjow's eyes widened, Ulquiorra even looked surprised. "THE FOX'S GRIN HAS GONE!!! ZOMG HIS EYES ARE RED???" Grimmjow literally screamed.

In soul society, everyone could hear a faint scream.Everyone gasped; outside, people started shouting that there was an invasion of flying pigs, and that hell had suddenly frozen over.Toshirou looked out his window "What the hell is that? Meh probably Matsumoto holding another party, god" He turned back to the mountain of paperwork on his desk and sighed "Hey, is that…a pig with wings? Flying outside…my…window…?" Toshirou looked at his cup of tea and shook it slightly "No more tea for you Toshirou…" He muttered to himself

Gin grabbed Ulquiorra's shoulders and shook him violently "WHERE THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO GET THE MONEY FROM?" Ulquiorra was too dizzy to answer, and promptly passed out in front of Gin.