This just came to me over the last week... it's very random since it takes place during "Showmance" before the back nine. I don't think it's one of my better pieces, but since I love writing some Wemma :) I'll put it up here anyway... Read, review, criticize, the whole nine yards!
Her little wave through her office door made his heart flutter. He shouldn't be feeling this way, that much was obvious, but he couldn't help it. His hands got clammy, his heart beat faster and faster in his chest, and he was sure he blushed. But he kept it cool- Will only offered Emma a quick wave and a smile. He knew he would fall apart at the seams if he did anything else. He had been walking on eggshells around his best friend for the past week. Because he had been wondering for the last week if that was all Emma was after all- a best friend. He had absolutely no idea anymore, and that frightened him.
Because he knew in his heart of hearts that he wished it was so much more than just friendship. But life has a way of doing that, of giving you the best gifts at the wrong times, of dangling all you ever wanted just in front of your nose but just out of reach. Of tying you down and then letting you see the world go on just fine without you.
And as much as he hated to admit it, it hurt. It hurt to see Ken flirt with Emma. It hurt to see Emma get that far-off, longing look in her eyes and to know that he could never ever fill that void for her.
Because Will was a good man.
And good men loved their wives, no matter how cranky and unreasonable they might be sometimes.
And good men were faithful.
And good men kept promises, promises especially that went along the lines of "for as long as we both shall live."
But good men comforted their best friends.
Were there for their best friends.
Loved them, too.
But Will since last week, Will was unable to do that. He couldn't comfort Emma because whatever she claimed to have had her so upset wasn't the truth. He was the one hurting her and he could do absolutely nothing about it. He couldn't stop causing Emma pain because if he did than Terri would feel the same sort of hurt. And he loved them both. He loved Emma as a friend and Terri as a wife, and it was a very careful balance between the two. But this year the line from "friendship" to "love" was growing finer and finer.
It all started last week...
XXX
It was about five o'clock and the Glee club had just finished their practice. Will was stressed and eager to get home to Terri. The kids had been giving him trouble about their upcoming prep-rally performance of "Le Freak." He knew that the music was a little dated, but everybody loved disco. When he was fifteen, Will had won Nationals with "Le Freak." That same weekend, Terri Delmonico (a junior!) finally agreed to go out on a date with him. So when the same woman announced her pregnancy to him last week, Will immediately thought back to the days when they were just kids.
And the song that made her fall for him in the beginning.
"Everybody loves disco, Rachel," he said, "It's well known. It's accessible. Everyone can relate-"
"If I may, Mr. Schuester, I understand why, in your mind, you might have a positive connotation with 'Le Freak,' considering that William McKinley High won their first National competition with that song. But in my humble opinion, this song is anything but accessible. You may find it very easy for yourself to relate to such music as an adult, since disco was extremely popular in the early nineties, but you have to understand that in today's world there are so many different genres that could better represent the needs of the student bod-"
"That's enough, Rachel," he'd chastised. He was growing more annoyed by the second, and the torrential downpour outside wasn't making his mood any better. "We're doing disco at the pep assembly. End of conversation."
"But-"
"You don't always need to have the last word, Rachel," he said, more gently this time. Even though she could be incredibly irritating at times, Rachel was one of Will's favorite students. He saw underneath her facade of the eager, confident young artist who needed only her talent and saw the frightened, insecure girl underneath. But he needed to prove a point, and he wasn't letting up this time. "You guys should all head home," he gestured outside, "before the rain gets too bad. I'll see you all tomorrow, and try to remember the choreography, kay?"
Everyone agreed and shuffled out of the choir room, most muttering complaints under their breath. Checking his watch, Will realized just how late it was and rushed back to his classroom at the other end of the main hallway to grab his bag and papers that needed grading. As he left the room, he smiled at the sight of Emma, dressed in her usual heels and pencil skirt, dash out into the downpour under the protection of a huge floral umbrella.
I hope it isn't too muddy out, he thought to himself, a little worried for his mysophobic friend. He'd always been close with Emma, but lately they had become exceptionally close. Ever since she was nailed with a slushie on the first day of the new school year, Will had looked out for her, and Emma had stuck to him like glue. Wonderful, cheerful, advice-offering glue. She never failed to make him smile.
As Will made his way to the exit, he noticed how the rain had picked up. As he pushed open the doors he could barely see ten feet in front of him. Terri had commandeered the only umbrella they owned that morning when hearing of the bad weather forcast on WOHN, the local news station. He groaned and muttered something under his breath as he felt his favorite brown leather jacket becoming heavy and slick with water. Great.
His feet splashed into puddles in the mad dash to his car, but something made him stop short. There, next to his car as always, was Emma's green Volvo. Didn't she leave, like, fifteen minutes ago? He wondered as he got closer and closer to the vehicle. He was about to open his own car door, about to walk away, when something made him stop.
It was the most horrible sound in the world. A muffled sob erupted from inside of Emma's car, and he looked snapped his head around only to see her sobbing into her fist. Will pulled the half of his body that had already made its way into the dry interior of his his own car out again and rushed the two feet over to Emma's passenger door. Through the window he could hear the faint sounds of "All By Myself" blasting through the car stereo, and Emma choking out the lyrics.
He pounded on the door, suddenly wanting nothing more than to wrap Emma in his arms and tell her everything was going to be alright. But when she snapped her gaze up to meet his eyes through the window, black mascara leaving tear tracks down her fair cheeks, he knew that it wasn't going to be alright. He knew who Emma was crying over. And he knew that there was nothing in good conscience that he could do to make it better. Her eyes were huge and glassy, and she had to physically bite her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. A single tear slipped down the contours of her face, and Will wished he was close enough to wipe it away.
But he had caused that tear, hadn't he? It had always been obvious that Emma had feelings for him, but never before had he knew how serious they were.
And never before had he felt the same feelings in return.
"Let me in," he called through the glass, and Emma vehemently shook her head. Even now, she didn't want Will to see her like this. If he just walked away, they could both pretend that it never happened. But if she let him in... if she let him into this car, than she would be letting him into her heart, too. She felt so vulnerable right then, and was about to drive off, when she saw Will's eyes.
And in them was a mirror of her own every single day.
He loved her. Maybe it wasn't a lot. Maybe it was just for the moment, for the second. But something in his longing blue eyes pained her, and she unlocked the car.
When he heard the click, Will immediately pulled the door open and ducked inside. His jeans, completely soaked now, made a squelching noise when his bottom hit the leather interior. He just now realized his muddy shoes and disheveled appearance probably wasn't helping the situation. "Oh, God, Em I'm so sorry... I'm making a total mess..." he shook his head and let out a soft chuckle.
He didn't know why he was laughing.
He didn't know that germs and mud and messes were the farthest thing from Emma's mind.
He didn't know a lot of things.
"I-it's okay," she whispered, resting her forehead on the top of the steering wheel. A sob racked her body, echoing through the now silent car. Will had turned off the music.
"Oh, Emma..."
"No, no, Will, I'm, umm... I'm just fine... y-you really don't have to..." he tilted her gaze up to meet his. His own eyes were beginning to water, as it almost caused him physical pain to hear Emma hurting like this. Needing like this, and him not having anything to give.
And when their eyes locked, that was when another onslaught of tears tore through her. Her cries seemed empty yet so full, and Will pulled her over he middle console and emergency break and into his arms. She stiffened immediately upon coming in such close contact with his body, but as he began to murmur sweet nothings in her ear, she relaxed. She subconsiously buried her face in his slick coat, in the crook between his shoulder and neck. And she cried.
Will rubbed circles on her back, clutching her shaking frame. "Shh, shh... you're alright, you're alright..." he whispered into her hair. She held him tighter, not caring anymore that she was a mess and he was married with a child on the way and she was being an idiot. She was breaking down.
All of her pent-up emotions from the past two years were coming to fruition now, and it was at the worst possible time. She couldn't help it that she loved him.
He couldn't help it that there was nothing he could do.
He made a promise.
But suddenly, that promise felt very far away to Will. Extremely far away, and he felt as though it didn't matter to him at all. The truth was that Will loved Terri. But he wasn't in love with her. And those were two very, very different things. Will was in love with the broken woman he now held tightly in his arms, whispering into her hair that she wasn't all by herself after all.
It was almost twenty minutes later when he realized she'd stopped crying. The sobs subsided to whimpers, and the whimpers came down to a few shuddering gasps. "Will..." she began, but nothing else ever came of her sentence. He pulled her tighter into him, and held her closer. If he grasped her frame any harder, he knew that they would both break. He needed her. She needed him.
His kid needed him, too. But Will wasn't thinking of that. He was only thinking of the truth when he whispered into her hair, "You're not all by yourself, Emma... you'll... you'll always have me, okay? I, umm, I..." he cut himself short.
She shook her head, looking up into his eyes. His nose was even with her lips now, as she was sitting on his lap. "Will, you don't have to do this, you never had to do this..."
"Shh," he said, and he leaned in closer. She felt his warm breath ricochet of her face and she wished that the butterflies in her stomach would never stop fluttering.
He kissed her forehead. He kissed her eyelids. He kissed her nose, and a tear slipped down his cheek. Their eyes locked for a split second as more tears escaped from Emma's huge brown eyes, and he kissed her lips. It was full of angst and longing, years of loving but never knowing it. His fingers locked her her hair, and her hands found residence on his shoulders, gently curved around his neck. She moaned into the kiss as his teeth nibbled mindlessly on her bottom lip, his strong arms pulling her closer and closer to him. Her right hand strayed from his neck and worked up behind his head and into his curls, allowing him better access to her mouth. She felt his moist tongue pushing against her lips, and she opened her mouth instinctively.
Even though she'd never been kissed, this felt right. This felt natural. This was it for her.
Their tongues worked together, not battling but dancing and gently caressing each crook of the other's mouth. She loved the feeling of discovering him as he discovered her, and he began kissing her neck over and over. He sucked a little at her pulse point, getting lost in the moment. Her head tilted back and she moaned as his teeth grazed her throat, her collar bones.
"Will..." she meant for it to sound more forceful, but all she could manage was a whisper as his thumbs grazed her sides, straying ever closer to her breasts. She pulled away quickly. "Will... Will!" she cried suddenly, sitting up straight and adjusting her sweater and hair. This was not supposed to happen. Not now, not like this. Even though it felt so right, they both knew it wasn't. They both knew that as much as they loved each other, they couldn't. And that hurt the most.
"We can't do this, Will," she whispered when their eyes met.
"I know," he said, but made no move to get up or let her go.
"Will?"
"Yeah, Em?" he asked, a million thoughts flooding his mind and a million unshed tears flooding his eyes. His beautiful, beautiful eyes... Eyes that could never be Emma's. She knew that sometimes it was better not to know what you were missing out on. And this... this was one of those times. She was supposed to be a good person. They both were.
"Could, could y-you go now?" it was only a whisper, barely audible, when it left her lips. "I think I need to cry. Alone."
And this time Will understood. Will wanted her so badly. He loved her so much. He needed Emma, and until today he hadn't realized just how much he did. He gulped, swallowing the lump in his throat. He shifted her easily (she was a lightweight) back into the driver's seat, and as he exited the car, he kissed her forehead.
Guilt was supposed to consume him. He was supposed to feel like a horrible husband, which he probably was, and a horrible father, which he hoped he wasn't. But he didn't. He couldn't. Because he had broken that promise to Terri. That ship had sailed. And he just didn't love her anymore. He wished he did, but being with Emma made him wonder if he ever knew what love felt like before today. He didn't think he did.
No, leaving that car felt like the worst. He felt like he was ruining his chance, his opportunity already, and he knew it. But as Will watched her cry silently, not bothering to wipe the tears and just staring into her rearview mirror, he realized something important.
XXX
The next week was horrible. Emma was as uneasy as ever without the reassurance of her best friend, her only ally, Will, by her side. She missed him, but she missed the days when they could at least pretend that they both felt nothing. They couldn't do that anymore, not after what happened in her car.
So when Rachel asked her, "Have you ever loved somebody so much you just want to lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music, and cry?" her eyes widened. And she saw Will outside her office. And he saw her.
And for another second, all she could do was stare. Because the answer was yes. Absolutely yes. She waved to Will, then snapping her gaze away so she didn't have to gauge his reaction. She swallowed, "N-no..."
Rachel looked at her, puzzled, and eventually left the office more confused than before.
Minutes later, so did Emma. But Will was already gone.
XXX
The next day, Emma found a post-it note suck to her door. It was simple, it was yellow with blue pen, with no name signed at the bottom. There was no need for a name, she already knew who it was from.
Someday
And in the simple way that there was just the one word, no period at the end to punctuate it, Emma knew one thing. Their story wasn't finished, either.
XXX
The day after leaving the note on Emma's door, Will found one on his own. He smiled.
I'll wait.
Because just as Will had broken one promise, another one had been made.
This is my first "T" fic and I've been thinking a little about attempting to write smut for the first time but I'm not positive yet. It would probably be a one shot, so please if you review could you include something about what you thought of the little make-out scene in Emma's car since it's my first time writing anything of the sort. Thanks!
-Liv
