Alright, I've been a web slinging, wallcrawling superhero for a good year now, and I've experienced some weird things in that time, but seeing a T shaped tower in the place of the Statue of Liberty? That's a new one. Thing is, after a second, I realize ol' Lady Liberty hasn't been replaced, I have. Somehow, I've ended up on the complete other side of the country in the home town of the Teen Titans. Saying this isn't good is beyond understatement, so instead of panicking, I do what I always do when I need to clear my head, I fire a webline and start swinging. Alright Peter, I say to myself, what're you going to do? Getting home before Aunt May realizes I'm gone is the top priority, but just how do I do that? I could ask the Titans for help, but knowing my luck they'll probably think I'm a bad guy and attack me.

Then I hear something a block over, sounds like an alarm. Well, maybe the old Spidey luck is changing after all, I can take care of whatever that problem is, and when the Titans show up to see what's going on, I'll have proof I'm a friendly neighborhood hero. A second later I reach the source of the alarm: a bank, and head in through a top window. So let's see what we've got, a short bald guy, a big hairy guy, and two average height guys, one in a red and black costume, and the other in a green and white costume… with what looks like a knockoff of Cyclops's visor. The weird thing is, they're just standing there, not stealing anything.

Well anyway, time for me to be a little showoff. I pull my spider-beam from my belt and shine it at them, saying, "Y'know, loitering is a crime!" As they turn in shock, I jump down onto a desk and turn the beam off, putting it back on my belt.

"Who in the heck're you?!" the short one yells.

"Why I'm the one and only Spider-man of course!" After a moments pause, the Cyclops looking guy says, "Who?" Surprised, I respond, "Spider-man? C'mon, don't tell me you've never heard of me!"

"Nope." The short one says.

"Whatever." I say, "You do realize the point of breaking into a bank is to steal, right? Or did they not teach that in bad guy school?" That comment apparently got under the big guy's skin, 'cause he suddenly leaps at me. Well, that's no problem for someone with Spider-sense and super human reflexes. Jumping over him, I kick into the back of his head with both feet, slamming him through the desk and launching myself onto a wall behind the other goons. "Hey, if you want a hug you're gonna have to ask first!" I yell.

The Cyclops guy checks on the big one, and in shock says, "What the- he's out cold!"

"Yeah, I know I look scrawny, but I'm pretty strong." I say.

"Okay, snot brain!" The short one says.

"Snot brain? Really?" I ask, "I was wondering how old you were, and I think I've got a good idea now, so I'm gonna try not to hurt you."

Then two tubes come out of his metallic backpack looking thing, curve, then start shooting lasers at me. I jump around, dodging them, then I web his feet to the ground and land behind him, ripping the backpack off and smashing it. "Hey!" he exclaims.

"Don't worry," I say, "I promise I'll buy you a new one if you behave, got that young man?"

"You rasa-frasin idiot!" he yells, "This was supposed to be a trap for those stinkin' Titans! Now you've ruined everything!"

"So that's why you guys were just standing around." I say. Then I start to laugh and continue, "You were gonna beat them? You can't even beat me!"

"It's all that stupid fast guy's fault!" One-eye says. "He made Jinx a goody-goody and messed us all up!"

"Excuses, excuses." I say, shaking my head in a condescending way. I have no idea what he's talking about, but I do love getting under my enemies skins. Then the red and black guy says, "Alright, y'little varmint, excuse this!" and he splits into five copies of himself. Okay, now I'm a little worried, but no need to panic. Earlier I noticed the vault door was opened, I guess they thought they'd make off with some cash after beating the Titans, so I do some backflips into the vault and say, "N'all right cowboay, come git sum!"

"Nobody mocks Billy Numerous!" he and his copies yell as they run into the vault. Just like I thought, he's not too bright. Once they're all in, I jump over their heads and out of the vault, wrapping them in webbing for good measure. Then I close the door and say, "Good luck multiplying out of that!" A series of muffled insults ensue through the door.

I turn to One-eye and say, "Well, looks like it's just you and me." He turns and runs for the door, but stops and lets out a yelp as he finds the Teen Titans waiting for him there. "Oh, I'm sorry," I say, "looks like It's just you, me, and all them!" Without a word of protest, he lets Robin walk up and handcuff him. Then I say, "Hi, I'm the colorfully clad dude who just kicked all these guys butts, and I've kinda got a problem that- "

"Who are you?" Robin cuts in with a serious tone. Well, here we go.