Chloe figured she'd loved Aubrey from two seconds after their eyes met for the first time. Of course god knows it took her more than two seconds to realize that it was love, but it was something about the way the blonde had walked into their shared dorm room with more purpose than Chloe had ever seen in her life. She knew then there was something about her, and she'd be damned if she wasn't going to discover exactly what that was.
It hadn't been easy at first. Aubrey had walls, like lots of them and that's what Chloe had spent their entire first year at college together doing, breaking them down. It wasn't easy at first, but once the red head discovered that her new friend loved to sing she'd signed them up for the Barden Bella's straight away, knowing that something outside of classes and study groups was exactly what the blonde needed.
After that it was easy – or easier anyway. They spent almost every waking minute together and Chloe knew by the end of her first year in Barden she really had made a friend for life. In fact, on the last night, she also found out Aubrey thought the same.
"I don't want to go home." The blonde confessed as the pair lay in Chloe's bed, hands clasped between them as they stared at the ceiling.
"Don't then… come home with me." Chloe offered seriously.
"And have my father hunt me down and drag me home…." Aubrey snorted. "I wish I could though."
"Hey, September first." Chloe told her. "It's only three months away, and I'll be skyping you every day anyway whether you like it or not."
It was normally Chloe that instigated their proximity – it had been her that had held Aubrey's hand when the blonde had come to lie beside her – but this time it was Aubrey who leaned over and placed the softest and most fleeting of kisses into Chloe's cheek.
"I'll be counting down the days." She swore then, pulling back slowly and smiling as Chloe turned to look her in the eye.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
The next time Aubrey had instigated their proximity was the day they'd retuned, Chloe being half ways through unloading her cloths from one of her cases when she'd felt a gentle tap on her shoulder. She'd turned with a smile already on her face, yet before she'd had a chance to say a word she'd been enveloped in her best friends warm embrace, not being able to help herself from breathing in the smell of cinnamon and coffee that had become her favourite sent over the past year.
"Longest three months ever." Aubrey whispered into Chloe's hair.
"We talked every day Bree." Chloe giggled softly, never the less holding the blonde tighter.
"I was beginning to forget you smell like bubble-gum and strawberries." Aubrey admitted, never wanting to let go.
"Well hey, you've a whole year to memorise it properly this time." Chloe promised.
"I plan on it."
Things just happened after that. Bella's got more gruelling, school became damn near impossible and Chloe knew that Aubrey was feeling the strain. She also knew her best friend could be demanding and difficult to deal with at times, which would more often than not end in tears for the blonde but Chloe saw past it.
Maybe it was that whole being in love with her thing – because yea, she'd figured out by now that it was in fact love – or maybe it was nothing more than the bond they had, but Chloe got Aubrey in a way she was sure no one else had before.
She was there for her too, and their friendship really just started to build up. It wasn't even noticeable to them at first, Aubrey just spent more time lying on Chloe's bed with the red head doing homework rather than her own, they no longer felt a need for personal space when they sat together watching TV, instead opting to sprawl out on top of one another – well Chloe would sprawl on Aubrey while the other girl rested an arm on Chloe's thigh – they sometimes played with one another's hands while sitting side by side in the library, nothing major.
It was the week they got back from spring break though. That was the week that changed things.
"My father's such an ass." Aubrey ranted as she barged into the room, not even bothering to acknowledge that this was the first time she'd seen Chloe in two weeks.
"What's wrong?" Chloe questioned immediately, watching as Aubrey threw herself onto the bed beside Chloe, back against the wall and arms folded across her chest indignantly.
"Apparently four after school clubs isn't enough if I want to be valedictorian." She relayed with a huff. "I mean what does he think I am, magical?" She half screamed, more than likely unaware that tears were beginning to fall from her eyes.
"Bree, hey, Bree." Chloe soothed, tilting Aubreys face up with her hand until their eyes met. "He's not the boss of you, you are." She reminded her; voice soft but firm.
"Try telling him that." Aubrey choked out a small laugh, trying to wipe her eyes without moving her head away, Chloe instead silently offering to undertake the task as she lifted her free hand up and stroked them away softly with her thumb.
"I will, anywhere, anytime." She promised, leaning in then and placing a soft kiss on the bridge of Aubreys nose.
Their faces were too close for it not to happen and the tension in the room was definitely too serious for them to laugh away the moment they were having. Chloe made the first move, almost two years of emotion pouring into one misguided reflex as she inched her head closer, wishing Aubrey would do the same, but not stopping when she didn't, instead melding their lips together softly, the skin barely touching at first.
She knew it was a mistake, or at least she thought it was, and after what felt like an eternity of waiting for the kiss to be returned she began to pull back, only to have Aubreys hands tangle in her hair and pull their lips back together.
The kiss was soft, and lasted only a few minutes before they broke apart, smiled at one another and spent the rest of the afternoon lying on Chloe's bed catching up and peppering one another with soft flirting kisses whenever they felt like it, yet it changed everything.
From that day on they had something more than friendship. Neither was sure what, but for the rest of that school year this was their secret routine of sorts, the way they connected, the way they were able to forget about school, and Bella's, and home, and just be themselves.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Their second summer apart came and went, and by the time they had started their third year together the dynamic of their relationship had moved up a level. Maybe it was due to their new found maturity over the summer break, or maybe it was as simple as distance making the heart grow fonder, but they knew it the second they laid eyes on one another at the start of their third year in Barden.
"I hate being away from you." Aubrey confessed, having just walked through the door and locked eyes with Chloe, who stood on the other side of the room. "I hate it."
"I hate it too." The red head admitted, already dropping the CD she was unpacking and moving swiftly towards the blonde, the pair colliding in the centre of the room "I really, really hate it." She repeated, their lips already moulding together after months of being apart.
They'd never done it before, not with one another anyway. Sure they'd had sex with their fair share of guys in their first year and a half of college – and even back in high school – but this wasn't the same. They knew the second Chloe ended up lying on top of Aubrey on the blonde's bed and their eyes locked, this wasn't sex.
"Chloe." The blonde whispered, her chest heaving as she searched the red heads crystal blue eyes. "I need you to know… I think I'm in love with you." Her words were so quiet they were almost never said, but they were said, and that's what mattered.
"I think I'm in love with you too." Chloe nodded, feeling tears prick at the corners of her eyes that she didn't bother to try and hide. "In fact, I know I am."
What happened that evening they never spoke of again. Not to one another and not to anyone else. It wasn't shame that caused the silence; it was instead the intensity of what had happened. It hadn't just been sex, and if possible it had even been something more than making love. It had been every single emotion either girl had ever felt being poured into one another and healed. It had been all of the scars they'd suffered in their past being mended, even if it were only for the briefest of moments. It had been Chloe holding Aubrey and promising her that everything would be okay, and it had been Aubrey holding Chloe in return and promising her she'd try to believe that.
From then on they were secret girlfriends – or not so secret depending on how you looked at it. People knew they were an item, saw them sneak away together at parties and heard of the amount of guys that had been rejected by them, but no one had ever been told outright. No one knew for sure.
It suited them as well. Neither girl was ashamed of their relationship, yet they mutually agreed that for the time being it was better to leave people guessing. School was enough of a burden without the glances and whispers. What had happened after losing the ICCA's final however was what had prompted both girls to be just a little more public with their relationship.
"I really am dreading next year you know." Aubrey confessed quietly as she lay her head on Chloe's shoulder at the back of the bus, neither of them caring if their fellow Bella's noticed, not that any of them were talking to either Aubrey or Chloe anymore.
"You'll get through it Bree, I'll make sure of it." Chloe promised; linking their fingers and giving her girlfriend hand a tight squeeze.
"You say that now but we have school and we're leading the Bella's and we're going to be in separate dorms because seniors get their own room." She sighed.
"I was thinking about that actually." Chloe murmured after a moment. "About us being in separate rooms that is." She clarified.
"Oh?" Aubrey questioned hopefully.
"My parents give me a pretty big allowance every month, and you've got your trust fund thingy… I was thinking that maybe next year we could get an off campus apartment together, like, live together properly." The red head explained.
"Live together properly…" Aubrey repeated, and Chloe could tell without looking that she was smiling at the idea already. "I'd like that… I'd like that a lot."
"I was really hoping you would." Chloe chuckled, turning her head then so she could press a kiss into Aubrey's forehead. "Cos god only knows how I would have managed living without you."
"I don't think I would have full stop." Aubrey agreed, leaning up then so she could capture her girlfriend's lips in a proper kiss of thanks.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
The summer wasn't as long for them this time either. Aubrey's father had actually agreed to allow her to go on a road trip with Chloe for two week after school had finished – claiming that he trusted Chloe with his daughter's well-being - and the girls had travelled over to California for the two weeks, stopping at every beach they could find before Aubrey finally had to begrudgingly take a flight back to New Jersey and Chloe drove home to Florida.
Things were normal for a while; skype calls every evening, and phone calls and text messages when they weren't able to make it to a laptop. It wasn't until mid-July that it all changed. One day Aubrey just didn't reply, not to a call, not to a text and not even to the desperate e-mail Chloe had sent.
After that it just kept happening, there'd be entire days of absence from the blonde, and when she finally did talk to Chloe conversation would be short and almost icy, never lasting any longer than half an hour.
"What's wrong with you lately Bree?" Chloe finally snapped one day, just as the blonde was about to log out of their skype conversation.
"Nothing." Was her curt reply, the blonde not even bothering to make eye contact as she spoke.
"Bullshit." Chloe called out, refusing to let the topic be dropped. "You're acting different and you know it just as well as I do. Last week I only spoke to you once Bree… I miss you." She informed her, cursing herself as she felt tears roll down her cheeks as she heard her voice crack.
"Chloe… don't." Aubrey pleaded, still refusing to make eye contact, though she could hear the pain in her girlfriends voice.
"No, I won't." Chloe told her, voice wavering as the lump rose in her throat. "I need you to tell me what the hell's wrong, because otherwise I can't do this anymore." She threatened.
"Nothing." Aubrey repeated after the tensest of silences. "Now I really need to go." She added mournfully, signing off before the red head could utter another word.
It was a combination of rage and sorrow that caused Chloe to pull out her phone after that and begin typing furiously, knowing that at least in that moment she meant every word.
Don't bother coming back to Barden a week early to help me apartment hunt. I'll just get a single dorm, you can do whatever you like.
She read it twice and cried for half an hour before finally hitting send, her broken sobs intensifying when the delivery report flashed on her screen, knowing that now there really was no going back.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
They tried to make their friendship work, always having promised one another that if something ever did happen they'd always still be friends. It wasn't easy though.
It wasn't easy crying yourself to sleep every night when you knew the one person that could stop your tears was the reason you were crying. It wasn't easy getting up an hour early for the extra classes you were forced to take when you didn't get the good morning kiss that kept you going for the day. It wasn't easy co-running a Bella's practice when even your friendship was being hindered in the form of the giant elephant in the room that was the ambiguity of how their relationship had ended in the first place – not to mention the alt girl with one to many piercings that insisted on flirting with Chloe constantly.
"I'm sorry that was rude. Chloe could you please get your head out of your ass? It's not a hat." Aubrey knew she shouldn't have said it, knew she wouldn't have said it this time last year, but it was all too much, it was all finally becoming too much and she'd cracked, she'd just cracked at the one person that could make it better if she'd just let her.
Of course Beca had been the one to come and save the day in the end. Aubrey almost hadn't let her, but she'd calmed down just enough to realize she needed to at least try and make things better, not worse, so she'd let her back, she'd let her lead, she'd let her take them to the old pool and she'd even let her sing that goddamn mash-up with Chloe.
By the time they were leaving again she'd finally decided she needed to do something, like really needed to do something because she was fucking everything up right now as she had been for the past year, and she at least needed to try and make things better rather than live her life not knowing if she could have salvaged what her and Chloe had once had.
"Walk with me?" Aubrey whispered; grabbing Chloe lightly by the wrist and holding her back as their fellow Bellas went on a head, not really paying much heed to the pair.
"Sure." Chloe smiled, stopping and waiting until they were alone before speaking again. "If you want to apologise for earlier there's no need Bree, we were both pretty out of hand." She told her friend, the pair beginning to walk back in the direction of campus.
"No, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about, though I am really sorry for everything I said." Aubrey winced, realizing now how much of a pretentious bitch she'd been earlier.
"What is it then?" Chloe questioned.
"I want to know what you uh… what you think of Beca." Aubrey settled on saying, not wanting to be too forward in her line of questioning, knowing she was treading on fragile ground.
"She's cool, and I know you don't like her Bree, but she is what's best for the Bella's right now." Chloe told her.
"No I don't mean like that." Aubrey sighed, wishing this was easier. "I mean… do you have feelings for her?" She asked awkwardly.
"What? No." Chloe laughed off, a little shocked that the blonde would even think that.
"Really… you don't… you don't think she's pretty or anything." Aubrey pressed.
"She is pretty." Chloe confessed without hesitation. "There's only one person I have feelings for though." She added before Aubrey had a chance to butt in. "She's the same person I've had feelings for since she first walked into our dorm room four years ago and the same person I'll probably always have feelings for, and love for that matter… I'm just not sure she feels the same."
"She does." Aubrey whispered immediately. "She does feel the same."
"She has a funny way of showing it." Chloe sighed then, stopping and turning to face her best friend only to realize that the blonde was crying. "Bree don't do this… I hate seeing you sad." Chloe pleaded, wrapping her arms around Aubrey's shoulders and pulling her as close to her as she could.
"He disowned be Chloe." Aubrey sobbed into the red heads chest. "He cut me off and said he wanted nothing more to do with me."
"What…?" Chloe gasped, pulling Aubrey back from her chest so she could look her in the eye.
"Over the summer, I told dad that we were… we were dating, and he lost it. He flew completely off the handle, called me an abomination and a black mark on the entire family. He hasn't talked to me since I told him and he cut off my trust fund." She cried.
"Why didn't you tell me Bree? I could have done something; I could have been there for you." Chloe sighed, wrapping the blonde up once more in her arms.
"Part of me was afraid of what would happen if he found out I was still seeing you I guess, and part of me just wasn't able to cope with everything, never mind having to tell you we couldn't live together because I couldn't afford it. I was just scared I guess." Aubrey explained, wrapping her own arms around Chloe's waist for support.
"You didn't have to go through this on your own Bree." Chloe said, tears in her own eyes now. "I love you so much; I'd never have let you suffer like this."
"I'm sorry." Aubrey whispered, not knowing what else to say.
"No. He's the one that should be sorry." Chloe stated firmly. "He thought he'd be able to scare you into breaking up with me and he almost got away with it… but I'm not going to let him anymore. You're better than him Aubrey. You're smarter and funnier and more compassionate and stronger than he could ever imagine being and even if you feel like you're none of them things you have me to remind you that you are." She promised.
"You really mean that?" Aubrey sniffled, looking up to meet Chloe's eye.
"I was stupid enough to leave you once before in your time of need Bree, but I'm not going to do it again. I'm here for you, now and forever, and to hell with him. I'm moving my stuff into your dorm first thing tomorrow and once we graduate we're going to find the best law firm in the country and move there so you can be a hot shot lawyer and I can be your adoring wife that also happens to be a kick ass nurse." Chloe informed her with a smile.
"But Chlo'… I'm a mess right now." Aubrey sighed, shaking her head ever so slightly.
"Yea well, the pieces won't pick themselves up, now will they?" Chloe smiled, leaning in then and capturing Aubrey's lips in a kiss, both women letting themselves become lost in the moment they'd missed for so long.
