Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson! Or a three story Victorian style house, sadly.
Chapter One: Pet Peeve #79 Annoying Little Kids who Talk A Lot
I know every girl my age makes the some complaint. Her hair, her nose, her parents (oh the irony)...well me... I've got serious reasons to say my life is screwed up. I've got a mom, dad, and two younger brothers, Lee and Walter. We're not rich but I do have to say we're better off than most people. That's a big reason why people think that I, Maxine Carly McCarthy, have a great life. It only seems nice at first but like the Amazon River deadly little fish lurk beneath the surface. Well not fish exactly but, oh you know what I mean. Anyway my mother is this total social butterfly who drags my dad all over the country to all these parties and charity auctions blah blah. Lee is this total brainiac kid who studies for one test or another every Saturday. He triple checks his homework and practices his signature for love letters to a nerdette in his class. That's about the stupidest thing I ever heard. I mean the kid's in 3rd grade!
And Walter has asthma so you can't even play his favorite games (Croquet, ping pong etc) for more than five minutes before he starts coughing. They're both real pale with ruler straight light brown hair and bluish green eyes. Besides being pale I look nothing like them. I have really bouncy curly dark brown hair with dark eyes. I look more like my mom. Walter and Lee looks my dad.
And since my mom couldn't bear leaving us alone for days on end she hired a full time nanny when I was four. Her name is Ms. Root she was about fifty years old and I hated her immediately. Her name reminded me of math and I hate math. Also I have a few pet peeves. #105 People who pretend to like you and give you complements when they really hate you, #46 older people who slather makeup on instead of wrinkle cream. Unfortunately Ms. Root did both of those. I'd come down in the morning and she's be putting on mascara and eyeliner. Then she'd turn to me and say, "Dear, your hair looks so nice that way." Then I'd turn right around and climb up the stair back to my room so I could redo my hair. Don't take Ms. Roots advice, ever. I did once. I later learned that dressing like a pioneer was just not the way to make friends.
Many therapists think that my not so spectacular home life is the reason that all that...stuff happened last summer. Namely the kidnapping/running away thing and the mass destruction of property. Those therapists don't know anything. Or at least not anything real. Here's what really happened.
It all started when I was born. Skip a few yearsand now it's a week and half before school ended. I went to Ronald Reagan K-12; it's so stupid to put Elementary, Middle and High school all in the same building. Even if it is the Godzilla of informational facilities. I had woken up after slamming my alarm clock into the wall, took a shower, got dressed (in my favorite shirt, it said: Some nights I look up at the stars and wonder…where the heck did the roof go?!), and went downstairs for breakfast. Ms. Root can't make anything edible so usually in the morning I just eat some cereal and chocolate. But mom and dad were back from their charity auction for Save the Endangered Purple Octopus so mom had made eggs and bacon. Everyone else was already up. Walter was sneezing and rubbing his nose because of his allergies. Dad passed him a tissue. Lee was alphabetizing his food; I swear that kid needs help.
Dad turned and smiled at me, "Good morning kiddo!"
I grunted. My dad was nice but he paid Ms. Root and that is not something I can forgive him for. I plopped myself down in a seat. We're not filthy rich so we didn't have any maids or housekeepers or anything. It was only our family and Ms. Root. I helped myself to some eggs. "Good morning, the mother of all oxymorons." I grumbled.
My mother strode in with Ms. Root right behind her. Mom passed out vitamins to all of us and Ms. Root plopped down my pill and a glass of water. I groaned. I have ADHD and dyslexia and Ms. Root had had this brilliant idea to have me medicated. Mom backed her up by saying I couldn't control myself without it but that wasn't true. Weird things just happened. Like no matter what Patty Harp said I didn't put bread crumbs in her hair to attract pigeons. They just attacked and they weren't normal pigeons. They had bronze beaks and demon eyes. Nobody believed me. Than there had been the time when evil chicken people tried to break through my bedroom window. That had led to a bunch of visits to the physiatrist. I stared at the pill. I had nothing to do with any of the bad things that happened to me. But maybe… it was all in my mind and the medicine would make it go away. I swallowed the pill.
Nat scored another goal as her teammates cheered her on. I sighed. Nat was a member of the Roses. The most popular girls in the school, made up of Kristy, Gabby and Nat. They weren't mean or divas but I didn't dare try to join them. I just wouldn't be able to click on to what they were saying. I didn't seem to be able to scale the popularity ladder at my school. All the other kids just ignored me. I was a good soccer player but whenever I joined in the line of kids who wanted to play during recess I was always looked over. So I hid in the bushes and watched everybody play instead. Pathetic.
"Who are we spying on?" I almost jumped five feet in the air. I hadn't realized anybody else was hiding out here. Right next to me was this scruffy blond little kid. His clothes were all grass stained and he smelled like peanut butter, one of the many things Walter was allergic to. He couldn't have been older than seven. "We are not spying on anyone! Who the…heck are you?" I hissed, just barely remembering to watch my language. He grinned; two of his teeth were missing.
"I'm Toby! Who are you spying on? Why aren't you playing with those kids? You can curse in front of me if you want, I won't tell anyone!" He babbled.
I couldn't hear myself think. "Look kid, aren't you supposed to be in class? It's not recess time for little kids."
He pouted, "I'm not a little kid! I'm six!! We had a mean substitute and she didn't like me so I came out here. Now why are you hiding? What's your name? Do you have any friends?" Toby continued.
I grabbed his arm. This was so ugh... Pet peeve #79 Annoying kids who talk a lot. "Shush!" I pulled him out from behind the bush and headed back toward the school. Now I had to take the future FBI interrogator back to class, great.
"Where are we going? Why are you pulling my arm? Are you going to make me go back to class?" Toby frowned.
I sighed really loudly. "Do you ever stop to take a breath?" I asked exasperated.
"No." He said grinning wider. Just then a girl ran up to me.
"Toby!" It was Kristy, yeah the most popular girl in school Kristy. She had shiny gold hair and a perfect tan, even though it wasn't even summer break yet. She smiled at me. I was almost blinded by her teeth's perfect whiteness. I bet those teeth could be used as currency in some third world country. She grabbed Toby's other arm and started to help me drag him to class. Then I learned that she had to be related to him because then she started talking, nonstop.
"Toby! Why do you always sneak out of class? You know that's wasting our parent's tax dollars! And don't make any excuses either! I'm gonna make sure you'll be grounded for the rest of the week!" I stifled a giggle. That surprised me because I'm not the giggling type. As we went to go through the big double doors at the front of the school I noticed something odd. Ms. Root's car, an ugly purple bug was in the parking. What was she doing here?
We finally dragged Toby back to the kindergarten hallway, protesting all the way.
"If you bring me back there I'll DIE!" He said dramatically, trying to cling on to the fire extinguisher. "No you won't." I snapped. The kid was putting up a good fight. So this was how fishermen felt. We deposited him in front of Mrs. Jones's door. She was out on maternity leave and the school was having a hard time finding a replacement. So I wasn't surprised when someone I'd never seen before opened the door. She was tall with her long brown hair in a braid. I don't know, for some reason she looked just too…regal to be a substitute teacher. She looked at Kristy and me warmly but looked at Toby like someone would look at a dog if it puked all over your expensive carpet.
As she bent closer I saw her name tag, it said Mrs. Peafowl. I stifled another giggle. I wondered if the reason she didn't like Toby was because he made fun of her name. She sniffed disdainfully and grabbed a hold of Toby's arm. He winced. That worried me somehow. She didn't seem to care that she was hurting him. She gave of this aura. It was sort of scary. "Umm I think you're hurting him," I said.
She looked at me and gave me a fake sort of smile, "Maxine, have you ever wanted to be famous?" That caused me to take an involuntary step back. My little sugar craved brain whirred. How did she know my name? What's with the weird questions? Why was Kristy just standing there in a trance like a stupid cow?
"Yes…I guess?" I replied hesitantly.
Mrs. Peafowl smiled, "Than stay away from this…child," she said gesturing to Toby who had slunk back into the classroom.
"Yes Ms." I replied. She nodded, satisfied and went back into the classroom. I hauled butt out of there.
Wow, that medicine had done nothing for my ADHD. That was so weird! Kristy was apparently now freed from her trance. She followed me. Recess was over and it would be time for lunch soon.
"Hey Max!" Kristy called after me.
"Yeah?" I asked. I was sort of worried that she would go into a vegetative state again.
"You should sit with us today," she said, whipping a little tube of lip gloss out of her purse. The roll kind that looked like a mini stick of deodorant. She started to rub it on her lips.
"Who?" I asked dumbly. Her stupid makeup had reduced me to one syllable words.
"Gabby, Nat and me. The 'Roses'," she giggled. Yes! The one good thing that has happened to me today!
"Oh sure! I just need to go back to class; you know Mrs. Folks hates me." I replied. She giggled again.
When I got back to class there was an unpleasant surprise waiting for me. Georgina, the school smart girl. Supposedly she knew pi to a thousand places. It was cool to be smart so of course she was popular. The Roses wouldn't let her in for some reason so she created her own group. Everyone called them the Geek Force Four. Georgina, Whitney, Hannah, and Dezzy (AKA Ditzy Dezzy or D&D). It was a widly disputed fact how D&D got into the Geek Force Four. Nobody had come to a conclusion just yet.
Georgina smirked at me and Kristy stiffened. "So Maxy, I didn't know you were a member of the Flowers. Are you going to do cheerleading? At least you'll be able to get to the top of the pyramid, unlike Kristy. I heard that all those burgers go straight to your hips," that was really lame, Kristy was so thin that our health teachers had a specially class about eating disorders just for her. Just then Nat came practically skipping right next to us. She was tall with dark skin and really pretty wavy black hair.
Her brownish- green eyes glinted as she said, "Oh really? Well you should know, your brother works at McDonald's right?"
Just when things were about to get going Mrs. Folks came stomping down the hallway. Boy if anyone needed to lay off the burgers it was her. She was about two hundred pounds overweight. Her lips were pursed and her beady little eyes were searching, like a mole trying to find a slimy worm. She caught sight of me and started to say in a voice that seemed out of breath and flustered.
"I was just in the teacher's lounge planning the lessons."
Nat bent over and whispered so only Kristy and I could hear, "Translation: I was in the teacher's lounge eating the left over doughnuts."
Mrs. Folks seemed to sense we were making fun of her but she continued, "And I received an urgent telephone call from one of my coworkers and you Maxine McCarthy are in so much trouble! You will have enough homework to last you till college! Detention for a month!" She was foaming at the mouth now and I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. Nat raised her hand innocently.
"What!" Mrs. Folks cried, like an angry goose.
Nat tilted her head, "Shouldn't you read her her rights?"
