The energy draining from me…every cell in my body sucked of its spirit. The heat erupts within me and burns me, burns my soul. It hurts. My skin glows with regenerative fire, wringing my soul out to absorb my new form.
My first regeneration; nearly a millennium ago. I was so scared. As a child on Gallifrey, I'd been told about regeneration. Some time lords said it was painful; some said it was rejuvenating. Some even said it was really nothing, just part of life and death as a time lord.
I disagree with them all. Sure, it's painful, but it's much more than that. Sure, it can be nice to have a change, but you never know what's coming. And it's certainly not nothing. What it is, is a curse. I've been through nine regenerations now…I'm in my tenth incarnation...but not for much longer.
There are none like me left…my entire race is gone. I'm alone in the universe, and even my human companions can't put a dent in how alone I feel; how alone I am. In fact, they make it worse. While they're around, they help me forget my pain and ease my misery, but once they're gone…it only adds on to my pile of bad things. So bittersweet. It's like eating candy…it's good while you're eating it, but when it's gone, you only end up a pound heavier. That's my life; and the pounds I've accumulated over time wear me down more and more. The only friends I ever make, I outlive. They slip away from me…every single one. And there's nothing I can do! Nothing! It's not fair!
And the worst part is that I have a choice. I can choose whether I live or die. I can let myself die and simply not regenerate, but I've come too far to just…die. Yet, I don't want to live on like this. I can't. But I have to. I don't want to continue; I don't want to go on…I just…
"I don't want to go…"
