Sometimes, it's hard to follow your heart.

Who was I again? I used to be the person who doesn't like basketball at all. It's not my passion, or so I thought. But every time I saw guys almost dancing their way under the ring, swerving left and right trying to shoot that orange ball, my feet started to dance by itself. My palms were sweating, aching to get a hold of the ball. My mind was playing around, as if I was there, conducting my imaginary teammates in a musical. I have the leader in me, but I never had the confidence to show everyone what I can do. My thoughts were in a haywire... I stared at my reflection, this blonde hair I just spent half of my allowance this month became a mask to hide my inner desires. I wanted to act tough, different, uninterested at playing basketball... but my heart screamed my inner fascination towards the sport.

Everybody was aghast seeing me wearing that fashion. It was very unlikely for me to abandon my former self, quit basketball and live my life as a delinquent, they say. I just want to quit playing basketball... but I don't have the reason why I want to quit. I just grew tired of passing and shooting. It was like making love with the one that you love but she never reciprocated. At all. It was a one-sided love for basketball. There was a time I got irritated with the screeching of the rubber shoes on the floor. It reminded me of how I was able to swerve effortlessly to get past the enemy teams. I thought after shooting the ball, I would win. But I didn't. I got tired of losing, but that's not the reason why I want to quit. It's indescribable. It's more than just the word "tired". I tried to push myself but to no avail. I just grew tired of losing, and if there was a word greater than "tired", it would perfectly describe what I was feeling before.

After a few days, people got tired of asking the same questions:

"Hyuuga-san, why did you color your hair? It's not like you."

"You made the wrong choice."

"It's so different from when you were before."

It's because I never answered them, or maybe I answered them vaguely enough they got tired of reading between the lines. I didn't even know if I have an answer. All I know was I wanted to get rid of basketball.

I thought I was able to successfully suppress my desires.

But there's Kiyoshi Teppei.

Every single time, he would approach me if I wanted to join the Seirin team, and yes, I turned him down all the time. I tried to skip classes, but he was still able to see me and throw another offer with that goofy, handsome smile. I tried to confront him but he never stopped. I felt like I was believed in. Even if I showed total rejection, he would just chuckle it out... and it was annoying. It was an abomination to my plans. He was a huge distraction.

Out of frustration, I accepted his offer.

I thought it was a wrong decision.

I found out that I was wrong.

"Believe in yourself, Hyuuga."

I believed in myself. I trusted Teppei's words. Even though we failed to win the first time, my hunger for winning went off the hook. My decisions were right this time. We were able to get past Winter Cup Preliminaries thanks to Kuroko and Kagami's efforts. We were able to win Winter cup thanks to the people who believed in us, the people who did their best to cheer us until their voices ran out, and our mentors who taught us our power moves. The win was overwhelming. It was intoxicating. But there was an underlying sacrifice.

Kiyoshi Teppei needed to go to the States to recuperate, and it shattered me inside.

~bakahirokun~

"Kiyoshi, are you prepared?" I spoke as I watched him fold his remaining clothes. It was December 15, a few weeks after we won over Rakuzan in the Winter Cup.

Donning his usual grin, he looked at me. "After this, I can finally rest for tomorrow."

Ah, yes. Tomorrow was his flight schedule. Unfortunately, I couldn't join him because I need to focus on my studies. Alexandra would be there to assist him as he undergo the surgery of his life.

I agreed by nodding. "That should do it. I'll finish it for you. For now, rest. You need a lot of rest."

He looked in confusion. "B-but.."

"No buts, Kiyoshi Teppei. Listen to me this time." I replied abruptly. The brown-haired founder of Seirin Basketball team let out a sigh.

"Alright. I'll rest." He tried to stand but the pain on his knee registered all over his face. My captain-like personality kicked as I watched him cringe in pain. I immediately went to him, placed his hand on my shoulders, my hands on his chest and guided him to the bed.

"You never learn, do you?" I muttered in disappointment. "You always forget that you're injured."

A chuckle escaped his lips. "Ah~ Sorry. It's my klutz side showing. Heh heh."

"Stop chuckling! Hurry up and rest!" I shouted as I placed him on his bed, carefully located his injured knee at the other side and tucked his bed sheet slightly under his chest.

"There, there." I said. "Now rest, Teppei."

I stood up, looking at the center's position. I made a few adjustments as he talked about his excitement going to the US for his surgery. A few "Right" and "Yeah" escaped my lips to answer his questions.

"Hyuuga, are you not happy that I will be finally healed?" Kiyoshi asked me with a worried face. I looked at him and lowered down my gaze.

I'm not.. because I will not be able to see you for the next months. I'm scared that you might get yourself a girl there. I'm scared that the operation might not be successful. I'm scared of losing you, Kiyoshi.

Those were the words that I wanted to tell him this instant. I was scared of the fact that I won't be able to see him on our practice. I'm terrified that the one who encouraged me to join Seirin's basketball team might not be able to play basketball again. Those were the few things that have been clouding my mind after he decided to accept the offer to go to the US and fix his broken knee. I wasn't against it, but the thought of the operation failing terrorized my mind.

"Of course, I am happy. I'm glad that you will have another chance to play with us." I mumbled. Those words weren't true. Those weren't lies either. I was at the middle of lying and supporting him. It was nerve-wracking. "Rest, Kiyoshi." I commanded him. After he nodded, I stood up to attend to the unfolded clothes, only to be pulled back by Kiyoshi.

"O-Oi!" I screamed as his unwavering force outbalanced me. I closed my eyes, hoping that something hard would hit me, but I never thought that the place I was cushioned was Teppei's hard, lean chest. I opened my eyes and my heart fused out when I found myself on top of him, his fingers intertwining mine, his gaze fixed at my eyes. He was so close to the point that our noses were almost touching. I could feel my face paint itself with crimson as he grinned at me.

"W-what are y-you d-doing, Kiyoshi?" I stammered as I indulge myself silently to his gaze.

"You are stuttering, Hyuuga." He chuckled as he removed my glasses and placed it on his side.

"Hey.. I c-can't s-see!" I sputtered in annoyance. I couldn't see him clearly. His lips moved on itself, like he was whispering something. I could barely see the twitching of his lips, but the pounding of his heart spoke for itself. Kiyoshi's heartbeat were racing with mine in perfect unison, like it was a missing note to the song my heart sung.

"Who t-told you t-to use my f-first n-name?" I stammered again. He chuckled in return, shifted his gaze on our intertwined fingers and tightened his grip. It wasn't painful, it was more of an assuring grip, because it gave me shockwaves of affirmation that everything would be alright on his end. He never spoke nor answered my rants. I could tell that he was just looking at me, silently observing me like a painting at an art museum. I too, turned mute as I observed his disposition.

After a few minutes, he cleared his throat and ran his fingers over my back. It felt hot. His cold fingers tracing my back gave me a warm shock. Ironic.

"Hyuuga..." He whispered. "I'll definitely miss you."

Those words triggered the tears that I was trying to hold back. I looked at him, silently sobbing as the pain of losing him ran over my veins like oxygen.

"I'm scared, Kiyoshi." I started to express my apprehension. "I'm scared that y-your operation would fail." As I wept in front of him, he raised his thumb and wiped away the tears that were constantly falling from my eyes. He then returned my glasses and placed it on my eyes. Now, I could see him, I could see his comforting smile again.

"I will be okay." He answered. "It's okay if we failed. At least, we tried."

"But Kiyoshi... How will you assure me that you will be alright?" I asked him again.

"As long as you're here beside me, Hyuuga. Everything will be alright." He whispered. "I don't care if I will not be able to walk, as long as I have the Seirin team, Riko and you backing me up." He smiled softly.

I gulped after hearing his words.

"Kiyoshi..."

He then cupped my face and looked at me in a different way. His gaze were unlike his usual derpy look.

"Hyuuga... I will come back for you." He smiled. "But before I leave, I have a favor to ask you."

My eyes twitched in curiosity.

"Can I do something? But please, don't get angry at me."

"Ehh?" What was he talking about? "I don't know what you're going to do, but as long as it won't affect your injury, I don't mind." I responded curiously.

Then the aura inside his room became different. It became thick, warm, suffocating... in a way I couldn't explain. His heartbeat's pace went faster as he beamed warmly. Mine matched his pace, and again our heartbeats were in perfect synchronization.

"You will not get angry, promise?" He questioned me again. Holding my breath, I answered.

"I will not. I promise."

That sparked Kiyoshi's eyes, his irises suddenly went on fire. He pulled me closer, much to my surprise and took a closer look at my eyes. My irises widened as he placed his warm hands on my nape. I know what would happen, it's just that I wasn't prepared enough for this moment.

"Kiyo-"

-His lips touched mine. I gasped for air. With that simple brush he was able to take my breath away. What would happen if he went all the way?

"Kiyoshi..." I was hyperventilating. Before I was able to react how the kiss was wrong he opened his mouth and crashed it on my lips. His tongue playfully tickled my tongue, asking, pleading me to respond. I forgot what I was supposed to do. I was supposed to shun him away but my body did otherwise. I cupped his face and wrapped his lips with mine. It went soft and calm as first, as our lips were tasting each other. He gasped for air and pulled me again, this time, our momentum went up swiftly. He was literally tasting my insides. His tongue were swirling with mine. Our lips were colliding on each other. I could not think straight anymore. All I know was the taste of his lips were addicting it warped me to another dimension which was very beautiful and intoxicating.

A few moans escaped my lips as he slowed our pace. This time, he was nibbling my lips, tasting every centimeter of it. A groan escaped my throat as his tongue traced my lips. I was completely gasping for breath. The constant tease between us was impeccable. It was beyond my understanding. Here I was, gasping constantly on top of him. He then finished his favor with a sweet kiss.

"Thank you, Hyuuga." He whispered and placed a little kiss on my lips again, like he was addicted to it. "That's what I need to keep me going."

What was that?

I was at loss for words. Where was the clutch player inside me when I needed him the most? Why did I become absorbed by his presence? He was a man, but his lips made me feel like a beautiful princess.

"I-I…"

"Hyuuga.." He whispered. I looked at him, observing his actions.

"Rest, Kiyoshi." I commanded, this time in a soft tone. He nodded and placed me by his side. He then placed his hand under my head and reached my left hand, holding it.

"Ehh?~ Let's sleep, my dear." He pleaded. The thought of me being his dearest sent a million sparks inside my heart. I could feel that my insides were shooting fireworks. I still don't know how would I respond to his endearment but good lord it felt really good to be loved by him.

"I need to finish fixing your clothes, Kiyoshi." I responded. "And don't you dare call me 'Dear'. We're both guys, you know? It pisses me off."

Of course, that was a complete lie. How I loved his voice when he spoke of my name, not to mention calling me his dearest.

I was about to stand up when he pulled me again, cupped my face and brushed his lips on mine. I felt all my energy flew away like leaves in autumn wind.

"No."

"I need to finish thi-"

"No." He spoke again, full of conviction. I looked at him again. What I saw was a different Kiyoshi. His eyes were still full of admiration towards me.

"Alright. I'll sleep beside you." I spoke in defeat. "But no more kisses, okay? You had enough." I looked up.

"Yes, my dearest captain." He saluted and closed his eyes. After a few minutes, he went into a deep slumber. I stood up carefully and placed his hand by his side. I watched him trying to look for a comfortable position. What happened tonight was a bit confusing for me. The person who influenced me to go back to basketball, the man who was there, sacrificing himself for our team, and the man who made me feel like I was an important person above all else kissed me in the most lovingly way possible. I'm still baffled by his actions, but I know he needed it. It wasn't my first kiss, but it was the first kiss that I really savored. He needed me at his side, and as a friend I have to comply with his selfish request. Tomorrow would be his last day here in Japan. I hoped this night would be a reason for him not to give up.

I need to believe in him. I will believe in him.

To be continued…