I had written this for fun based on a messaging spree with Jubilations, so i'm just posting it for anyone who happens to want to read it. xD Dont expect it to be good. Its just random.
"HEY!! HEEY!!! HIGH FIVE! HIGH FIVE! HIGHFIVEHIGHFIVEHIGHFIVE-" Tonks was hanging out the car window while driving. A car passed by. "JERK!!" Another car began to approach. "OHH! ANOTHER! HIGH FIVE! HIGH-"
Cash grabbed his shirt and yanked him back in the car. "Fuckin' retard!"
Tonks was about to hang out the window again if it wasn't for Roxy, who was safely tucked in the backseat, rolled up the window by reaching her arm and clicking the button. And she made sure to click the lock.
"See?! This is why I don't let you drive!" Cash snapped at him. "Now keep your fucking eyes on the road!"
Tonks glared at him before looking back at the road (he began to plot ways to have fun while driving). Roxy leaned on one hand on the side door. She was on the left, Token in the middle, and Dezzi on the right. Tonks was driving and Cash had shot gun. "Well then, Cash, why don't YOU drive?" Roxy asked, sipping a canned beer thoughtfully.
"Because I have the directions. And I don't trust any of you to read them to me." Cash growled at her, clutching the mapquest driving directions he had printed out earlier.
"Then why not make Token drive?" Roxy asked, taking another sip of beer.
"Because he's miiiiiiiine" Dezzi purred, clutching Token's arm possessively. Token just rolled his eyes.
"So that leaves Tonks by default." Cash grumbled.
"You didn't ask why I couldn't drive-" Dezzi started, but Cash shot him an evil glare in the rear-view mirror. That shut Dezzi up.
Tonks leaned his head on the steering wheel. They were going down a fairly straight street, and it would eventually merge into the freeway. He was completely bored out of his mind. "MUSIC!" Tonks squeaked, and he leaned up and clicked the radio button. By default, it started his last CD.
The lyrics of his Sublime CD began to blast the car speakers (all the hair stood up on Dezzi's tail). Tonks sang along REALLY loudly.
If she thinks that she
Gonna
dispose my world
I'd-a-be a crazy, crazy, crazy,
Crazy
fool
Cra--zy fool
"You're already a crazy fool! Shut that shit off!" Cash snapped, and he clicked the off button.
"You're such a party pooper." Tonks mumbled, and the turned the wheel to have the car merge to the freeway. The freeway was a bit packed, and it forced Tonks to slow the car down.
"You're just a FUCKIN IDIOT." Cash snapped, and he began to rub his temples angrily. "And you give me a headache. We've only been in this fucking car ten minutes!"
"And would you please remind us why we're even in the car?" Dezzi purred, his hands stroking all over poor Token's body. Token tried his best not to respond (but we all know he likes it).
"Ufonut is having a convention." Cash growled. "And there's no way I'd trust you all at home alone."
"And they've got free beer." Roxy responded happily.
"And I hear there's going to be a cool band there, so I wanna hear..." Token mumbled shyly.
Dezzi shrugged and continued to stroke Token. Tonks then added, "And it gives me an excuse to try out my new cosplay!" Tonks grabbed a tin foil hat with antennae on it from under the seat and put it on his head.
"You're all fuckin retards..." Cash mumbled.
"Oh, come on. It seems like everyone is going to have fun." Roxy said, nudging Cash a little. "Don't worry. I'm sure good old uke-ums here will make sure nothing goes wrong."
Token choked. "I'm not an uke! I'm not gay!"
"Deniiiiiial!" Dezzi purred, rubbing Token's chest a little. Token let out a grumble and shut up.
"RADIO!" Tonks shouted, then he clicked the radio button again. He quickly clicked the fm button.
"Dammit Tonks!" Cash shouted, and he was about to turn it off when Tonks ripped the button off the radio and shoved it in his pocket.
Tonks smiled and sang along. "Ooooooh I don't want her! You can have her! She's too fat for me! She's too fat for me! Much too fat for me! Ooooh I don't want her! You can have her"
"...what the hell?" Cash grumbled, rubbing his temple again. Cash, now unable to turn the radio OFF, changed the station. Rap crap by Eminem began to blast the speakers. Cash rapped along.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tonks screamed, covering his ears with both hands. If it wasn't for the fact the car was almost stopped because of traffic, it probably would have swerved everywhere.
Roxy leaned forward and clicked the next station button. Some random White Stripes song began to play.
Don't want to hear about it
Every
single one's got a story to tell
Everyone knows about it
From
the Queen of England to the hounds of hell
Tonks put his hands back on the wheel, but managed to roll the window down and hang his arm out of it. And his head. He waited a moment until the traffic stopped before climbing out the window and onto the car.
"TONKS!! YOU FUCKING RETARD! GET BACK HERE!" Cash screamed, undoing his seatbelt and looking out the window. After a moment, Tonks climbed back into the car and strapped himself back in. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING?"
"Checking the weather." Tonks replied with a smile.
"HOW THE HELL IS THAT-" Cash was about to continue if it wasn't for Dezzi beginning to grope him from behind which shut him up.
"When you're pissed, you know that makes me sooooooooooooo horny" Dezzi purred, his hands stroking Cash's side.
Cash was quiet until Dezzi stopped.
"...Tonks, get off on this exit..." Cash grumbled quietly, feeling a migraine coming on.
Tonks followed his instructions and got off on that exit. After a minute, they pulled into the parking lot of a convention hall.
"...how did this happen?" Cash groaned, his hands in his face as he sat in the shot gun seat. Tonks wasn't driving this time. Tonks was snoring soundly in the back seat, mumbling things to himself. Roxy was completely drunk, her head leaning on Tonks's shoulder. Dezzi was soundly asleep with his tail wrapped around himself. Token, the only one who wasn't completely drunk or stoned, was driving.
"Well, Dezzi was busy raping me while Roxy got drunk and Tonks learned the magic of drugs."
Cash groaned with his hands over his face. "Just... get us home."
"Its not like anyone noticed." Token said with a shrug. "You got your alien books and signatures from Chuck."
"I know... but..." Cash mumbled, "Why did Tonks have to run around shirtless outside the hall while I was getting those autographs..."
"Sorry. I'd have stopped him if it wasn't for the fact I was being seduced in the men's bathroom." Token said with a blush.
"Yeah yeah..." Cash leaned his head on the window. Maybe he should have left them home after all.
"But everyone had fun." Token said, perking up. "That's a good thing, right?"
Cash looked at him, then a soft smile creeped over his face. "Yeah... I guess you're right."
"VROOM I'M AN ALIEN!!" Tonks said, popping up between them. He had the foil hat still on his head, but it was a bit crumpled now. If it was possible, Tonks was a stoned zombie... thing.
"Go back to sleep." Cash said as calmly as he could.
"Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerk." Tonks moaned, crawling into the front seat and laying in Cash's lap. Then he suddenly fell asleep.
"Why you little!" Cash started.
"Oh, just leave him." Token said. "At least he isn't Dezzi."
Cash nodded and left Tonks there.
"OMG IT WAS LIKE... THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS BIG!!!"
"SHUT UP!"
"BUT IT WAS LIKE-"
"SHUT UP OR I SWEAR I'LL RIP OUT YOUR INTESTINES WITH A FORK!!!"
Token looked at them and sighed as he got out of the car. Sometimes, he felt like the only sane one in that house.
OMG. Its over. Hope you enjoyed. xD Will there be a sequel?? GASP! NO THERE WONT:O But i hope you liked it. xD I wrote that before all the other fics. xD
