TITLE: Lost in Translation

AUTHOR: MikeJaffa

SYNOPSIS: Aisha completely misunderstands some human cultural taboos. Put down all food and drink before reading further.

WARNING: I mean it! Whatever you are eating or drinking, put it down.

DISCLAIMER: Sunrise owns Outlaw Star. I am making no money off writing and publishing this fic.

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"Let's go over it again, Aisha," Gene Starwind said wearily. He and Twilight Suzuka were sitting on one side of a glass partitioned visiting booth in the Sentinel III Jail, both holding phones to their ears. Gene looked exhausted while Suzuka had a serene smile on her face.

Aisha Clan Clan sat on the other side of the glass holding her own phone. She was dressed in orange prison coveralls. The hair ring usually at the end of her braid had been confiscated, so her silver waste length hair fell around her shoulders.

"I don't see why," Aisha complained. Although diamond-tipped needles had been used to pump her full of tranquilizers to prevent a transformation, she still sounded cranky.

"Humor me," Gene said. "So you and Jim were sitting on a bench in the park waiting for me and Mel."

Aisha nodded. "Mmm-hmm," she said seriously.

"And when Jim said he was hungry," Gene went on, "you decided you wanted to help him...and save him money on lunch."

"Of course. You're always complaining about being broke."

"And strictly out of the goodness of your heart and concern for Jim's welfare..." Gene took a deep breath, "...you decided to breast feed him. Right then and there. In the park. In full view of everybody."

"It was no trouble," Aisha said modestly. "Female Ctarl Ctarls can lactate at will, regardless of whether they've had cubs; and our milk is packed full of nutrients. And Jim certainly seemed to like it once he accepted Aisha's generosity." She giggled. "He said Aisha's milk was the best thing he'd ever tasted. I couldn't believe how hungry he turned out to be. Don't you feed him?" Her temper began to flare. "Now, will you please tell me why that cop thought it was any of his business? Or was I being discriminated against because I'm a Ctarl Ctarl? Because there was a human woman on the bench across from us nursing her cub!"

"Aisha! Jim isn't your cub!"

Aisha looked puzzled. "So nursemaids don't do it on human worlds?"

"No, Aisha, that's not it all..." Gene's phone rang. He pulled it out of an inside coat pocket. He checked the caller ID then answered it. "Hey, Jim."

Aisha perked up. "Is that Jim? Tell him Aisha says hi!"

"Aisha says hi," Gene deadpanned. "You back home?"

"Yeah, the cops finally let Mel take me home once they figured I wasn't traumatized." Gene thought he could hear the young man strain to not grin. "So, uh, Gene, you think you can get Aisha out tonight? Or maybe tomorrow morning?"

"I'll get back to you." Gene hung up. "He says 'hi-'"

Aisha grinned. "I get it! People are upset because of Jim's age, that I was nursing an eleven year old boy in public."

Gene grinned. Was he finally getting though to her? "That's right!"

Aisha nodded. "So we'll tell the cops I'm sorry and that from now on, I'll only nurse Jim in private."

Gene's face fell. "No, no, Aisha, you're still not getting it." He turned to Suzuka. The beautiful assassin also had a law degree and had agreed to be Gene's legal adviser at no charge. "Feel free to jump in any time, Suzuka."

Suzuka's smile had broadened slightly; Gene had no doubt she was laughing her ass off on the inside.

"No, no," Suzuka said, "I think you're doing quite well."

'That's been her plan all along,' Gene thought. 'She wants to kill me by making me die of embarrassment.' He turned back to the waiting Ctarl Ctarl and sighed. He said, "Ok, Aisha, let's try again..."

THE END