Hello! So this is a co-authored fic, I, Peanut, and my friend, Butter wrote this story...
as you have probably noticed. Okay so BEFORE you read you should know that this is 100%, completely and utterly, no exceptions, a CRACKFIC! and not ONE DROP of seriousness is to be interpreted.
Also, a quick warning: this story is Kili and Legolas slash, empreg, smut, lemons and a CRACKFIC. And before you write a review telling us we have a sick and disgusting mind... we already knew that for like a bajillion years.. so yeah.
Also you can expect slow updates READ ON! if you dare.

This chapter is dedicated to Nimareel (you know who you are) for supplying us with that killer first line!

"I crave beverage." Legolas said as he slipped his hand behind his back and pushed the door closed. A mischievous smirk played on his face as he looked longingly at Kili. Kili was sitting tightly, missing Legolas' gaze purposely. The truth was he was scared. He had never done anything like this before... with a man... with an elf... with the prince of Mirkwood. Of course Kili loved him, but never had he gone this far with any man.

Legolas could clearly see how frightened the young dwarf was. Legolas was not scared because... well he's been around a while and...uh... let's jut leave it at that shall we?

Legolas took a seat beside Kili on the bed and rested his hand on Kili's thigh. He began slowly sliding his hand up to Kili's crotch, all the while Kili had been growing stiff. Legolas tried to make eye contact with Kili, he wanted this moment to be special, he wanted this moment. However Kili was simply looking down at Legolas' hand, petrified. Kili wanted this too but as previously mentioned, he was scared.

Legolas realised this was not going to happen. He sighed then moved his hand from Kili's "lap area" and pulled it up to his face and lifted his chin. Kili couldn't help but look into Legolas' eyes.
"We don't have to, if you're not ready-" Legolas began but was quickly cut off by Kili.
"No." he protested. "I am ready,"
"Kee, I can see that you're scared, I understand. This can wait."
"No it can't. You and I both know this is our last chance, I have to leave in two days for Uncle Thorin's quest, we won't see each other for a year... if I make it through alive." Kili told him, bewitched by Legolas' beauty.

Legolas' smile faded.
"I can wait a year." Legolas replied.
"I can't." Kili said, reaching up to place a hand on Legolas' cheek.
"I love you." He whispered. Legolas smiled and leaned in until his face was only a centimetre away. Kili's warm bursts of breath met his lips playfully and danced on them, enticing him, leaving him wanting more. They stayed staring into each other's eyes, enthralled with each other until they could bare it no more.

Kili slammed his lips onto Legolas' and Legolas smiled into the kiss. His lips were warm and seducing. Kili brought his arms up and placed it on Legolas' shoulder. His nails dug into it when Legolas dipped his tongue into Kili's mouth, deepening the kiss. It swirled and danced delightedly about with Kili's tongue.

(Small time skip)

Kili groaned in pleasure as Legolas gave him his last push. An inexplicable wave of delight broke upon both of them as they let go of the tight grips they had on each other. They rolled onto their backs, panting. Kili's head flopped to the side of the pillow and he peered at Legolas. He took in everything about him. His face, his body, his smell, his eyes, his heart. He would miss him when he left. He would miss him so much.
"What are you looking at?" Legolas giggled. Kili chuckled deeply, his face in a content smile as he twirled a strand of Legolas' blonde hair about between his fingers.
"I love you." he said.

Legolas smiled to himself as he caved into his inner thoughts. He went over his long history with Kili. They had known each other since they were children... well since Kili was a kid, at the time Legolas was a creepy pedophile and that's how his interest in him began. They hadn't just hooked up in some gay bar, okay fine they did but that's not the point. The point is, is that they loved each other and now they had proved their love, and nothing could defeat it.