INTO THE DARKNESS-
A sequel to Into The Mystic
by littledove
Chapter One- Two Degrees of Normal
The sound of the alarm should have woken me up, but my weary eyes were already wide awake, and had been since I laid my head down on my pillow to rest a few hours earlier. As a vampire, I didn't get "tired" in the normal sense of the word. I didn't need sleep like I had as a human, but it was certainly still an enjoyable activity…not that I would know that lately. I couldn't honest tell you the last time I had gotten more than three hours sleep, and although immortality certainly had its perks, the endless array of time to waste was a blessing and a curse. On one hand the prospect of having unlimited time to achieve and see all the things I wanted to in life had an element of excitement about it, but it also had a morbidity to it that I couldn't quite understand. But I was too tired to think about that today. I had an executive coming into town from New York and Caroline and I were busy in preparation.
So much had changed in the past five months yet I constantly felt like I was stuck in the same position, which was insane considering the state my life was currently in. I was a vampire. Me, Elena Gilbert was a vampire, but that wasn't even the strangest part. I was a vampire who was also the current CEO of the multi-million dollar company Salvatore & Sons. Yep…don't quite know how that one happened. Well, I do. During my post transition house arrest, Stefan had asked me, and when I say asked I mean coerced, to help him manage the work load while he looked to replace the position left by…the previous boss. Because of my involvement and job as assistant to the CEO, I knew the ins and outs of the role, and my intel was greatly cherished at a time when the head of the company had up and vanished into thin air. Days led to weeks, weeks led to months, and eventually, Stefan stopped looking for a replacement and instead made me interim CEO of the company. It wasn't exactly my ideal position, and it wasn't what I wanted to do for the rest of my eternity on earth, but it kept me overwhelmingly busy….which was a god sent at the moment….and I was good at it, and I needed to feel good at something at the moment. So here I was, facing another early morning at the helm of the Salvatore machine and with absolutely no idea how long I would be doing it for. Caroline had of course stepped up to the plate to help out and had taken over my previous role as PA. Although she was technically my assistant, I liked to think of her more of a godsend, and with each new day she seemed to be the anchor that was weighing me back down to earth. She kept me grounded and kept me holding onto my humanity, which was important because this job was so easy to turn off and get lost in. I could see exactly why he had revelled in it for so long. It was a total power trip but everything was so black and white in the business world…and that was comforting. It gave me a sense of control at a time when my willpower was a struggle for me, and in hindsight it had actually been the perfect distraction.
I think Caroline had enjoyed our new roles more than anyone, and I could completely understand why. Although it was tarrying being the head of such a large corporation, the fact that we would still have two degrees of normal in the workplace while still being inside the vampire bubble of the CEO floor was calming. We would have a business meeting but the second we got back to the office it was blood bags out in the open, and I think for two new vampires that took the pressure off. My transition hadn't been easy, and in comparison Caroline had made it look like a walk in the park. 5 months on and I still struggled day to day with my blood lust, but I had enough compassion and respect for humans not to let it consume me to the point of attacking someone. Sure, my basic urge was to hunt and kill, but it didn't mean that I had to be a monster. After everything that had happened I could never forgive myself if I were to hurt someone, and as hard as it was I had to fight with every fibre of my being to hold onto the parts of me that remained empathetic and compassionate to others.
I had a huge day ahead of me and not even my morning combo of two blood bags and a few too many glasses of scotch could ease my nerves. In my human days I had never been big on drinking…I was a lightweight on a good day and never could have imagined knocking back entire bottles by mid-morning without evening blinking an eye. I had discovered early on in my transition however that alcohol…particularly malt liquor….was a life saver when it came to cravings and just really took the edge off in general. I was in a perpetual state of drunkenness lately, or 'business drunk' as Caroline so eloquently liked to call it in order to enable my uneasiness on the topic. I think it just frightened me how much I had begun to emulate him. A reclusive drunk corporate type. And also sad because it made me think of him….not that I needed much encouragement, he was consistently on my brain. With two more glasses of scotch and a vague attempt at my makeup, I was in the town car and on my way to the Salvatore & Son's offices. Stefan usually rode to work with me. He had taken on a lot more responsibility since the unexpected departure of his business partner and he was usually at the office from dawn till dusk like I was, but he was on a trip at the moment. He left quite abruptly and said something about a merger in Dallas- but I knew what that meant. He had been using every resource at his fingertips the last few months to try and locate his brother, and after the first two times of him flying out to some random location in the middle of the night only to return with not so much as a sighting, he had stopped telling me about them. I don't know whether he thought it upset me or if he didn't want to get my hopes up….but every time he came through the door of Salvatore Manor with only his suitcase in toe, I became more and more disillusioned that we would ever see him again….at least not this decade. My thoughts were drifting to him again as the doors of the lift opened and I walked out across the marble floor of the CEO level, and I had to pull myself into line if I was going to make it through the day. We had the biggest merger in the history of the company in the works, and Enzo, the account coordinator who I had met on my trip to New York, was going to be joining us in Mystic Falls for a few months in order to oversee it, and he was arriving today. I didn't quite know how he was going to handle living in our quaint little town but I'm sure he would get used to it, and besides, it was only temporary.
I enjoyed a few hours of peaceful work time before Caroline Forbes greeted me with her presence at around 9am. As much as I loved Caroline and as greater help as she was to me at the moment, she seemed to constantly blur the lines between work time and social time. I had taken on a lot when I had accepted this role, and the duties and responsibilities that came with it were far greater than I had ever imagined. Caroline on the other hand seemed to think us working together was a 8 hour sleepover, and she had unofficially moved into my office where she just loved to jabber and chatter throughout the day, unaware of the thousands of emails and documents I needed to get through. She was a great assistant and she had taken over my job well….but some days I wished she would just leave me be.
"Well, don't you look refreshed and revitalised" She smirked sarcastically as she waltzed into my office with two large lattes in hand "Did you get ANY sleep last night?" I exhaled in minor frustration at the pending lecture I was about to receive from my best friend
"A few hours. I was up doing emails a lot of the night"
"Elena…" She started
"Caroline" I said mirroring her tone "Need I remind you that we don't actually need sleep. We just do it to waste the time"
"You still need to recharge your batteries"
"I'll take it under consideration" I smiled weakly but it didn't seem to appease her. Some days I felt like she took this job to keep an 'eye' on me. I shouldn't complain though, I was lucky to have such a wonderful and caring friend in my life. A lot of people didn't have that luxury. "How are we looking for Enzo's arrival?"
"Good" She replied, thankfully distracted from her 'you aren't looking after yourself' critique. "I got a text from the driver in New York to say he's been picked up from the office and is on route to the airfield, he should arrive by midday"
"And were we able to get him upgraded into the suite at the Holiday Inn?"
"We sure were" She smiled sweetly. I returned to my emails mindlessly and began typing away.
"Great. I still think we should look into getting him a serviced apartment in the Nexus place downtown….make him feel a little bit more at home since he's going to be here for a while"
"Yes I think that's a good idea. You're so thoughtful Elena" She grinned. I didn't like that smile. Whenever it eloped her gentle features I knew something devilish was about to come out of her mouth. She continued eyeing me with the troublesome smile until I finally gave up
"What?"
"I just think its great how attentive you are to him" Oh here we go. Ever since Caroline had accompanied me on a trip to the New York office last month she had been harping at me about the prospect of a romantic relationship between me and Enzo
"It's not attentive Caroline. He's an employee from the company who is uprooting his life to assist us with a merger. The least we can do is make sure he is as comfortable and happy as possible"
"Oh I think he's going to be very comfortable being in Mystic Falls"
"Caroline!"
"What!
"He is a colleague of ours. You need to treat him with some respect"
"I do. And I respectfully think that he is absolutely gorgeous" She smirked "And completely into you"
"He's not into me….we just happen to have a pleasant working relationship"
"Oh come on Elena the guy is smitten as hell with you! And you could do a lot worse. He's sexy, smart, funny and BRITISH. Like come on the guy ticks all the boxes"
"Well why don't you date him then if he's such a catch?" She really was getting on my last nerve with this. Of all the things in the world I could comprehend doing in my current state, dating was not one of them.
"Because I'm not the one who is single" She smiled. Ouch. That one stung.
"I'm not single I'm…" I began to say before pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration. Well, technically I guess I was, but…oh god it was just such a nightmare. "I'm just not interested okay"
"Why not?" With one sentence my resolve shattered and I swiped the glass vase full of the most stunning sunflowers off my desk, shattering it on the floor. Unnerved but concerned, Caroline's eyes never left me as my head fell into my hands
"I'm sorry" I whispered "Its…..it's only been a few months" With the chink in my armour completely visible to her now, she made her way around the desk and sat on the edge, resting a comforting hand on my shoulder.
"I know it has sweetie and I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just, worried about you"
"You shouldn't be. I'm fine. I'm not perfect but I'm functioning"
"Are you though? I haven't seen a genuine smile on your face since you transitioned. And you know, if you went out with Enzo and had a nice meal and a couple of laughs, where is the harm in that?" I finally found the courage to look up at her and the unease I saw on her face made me feel beyond guilty for snapping at her "You sit at that desk working yourself to the bone for 15+ hours a day and then when you do come home you lock yourself away in the den or your room and work some more. I understand how much pressure you put on yourself to take care of the company and live up to the unrealistic expectations you think Stefan has of you, but I worry…..I worry that you're using this as a shield. I worry that you're hiding behind it, and that can be okay for a little while but eventually it's going to consume you. You need to cut loose every once and a while…you need to have some fun…and you need to start living your life again" I thought about what she was saying, and although it was completely true, I couldn't see anything wrong with using this job as a shield. If it was getting me through the day and it wasn't hurting anyone…what was wrong with it?
"Maybe next decade" I joked with a light hearted smile. It was not received very well. "What do you want me to say Caroline that I'm a workaholic? I know I am, but if it keeps me distracted then I'm sorry but it's what I'm going to do." She took a deep breath and mustered up some courage for her next sentence.
"I need to say something to you, and it might not be what you want to hear but it's what you need to hear. You need to stop sitting around and waiting for him to come back because Elena….he might never come back. And if he does, it's not going to be the man you're in love with….it's going to be someone else….and you need to prepare yourself for that. You've got to let go honey. You've got to let go and move on with your life" I knew it was true, it was something that I thought about every second of every day. If I were to see him again, if by some chance he did come back to Mystic Falls, the likelihood of it being him, the man I was so desperately and hopelessly in love with, was slim to none. From what Stefan had told me, once a vampire turns off their humanity the road back to themselves can be nearly impossible….especially for an older vampire….and deep down, I knew that I may never see the true him again. But it still stung to hear it come out of her mouth.
"I can't" I admitted honestly... "I won't give up on him Caroline. I can't give up on him"
It was the first time I had said it out loud. But I knew it was true. As lost and as scared as I was, if I knew one thing for certain, it was that as long as I lived….I wouldn't give up until I had him back. Until I had my Damon Salvatore back.
