Price of Friendship

James Potter sat quietly beside Remus Lupin in the library at Hogwarts. He sighed heavily twirling his quill through his fingers. James was not interested in the essay they were supposed to be writing at the moment for Herbology glass, his attention was captured by the girl across the room who was sitting alone at a table working relentlessly, rather like Moony was beside him.

Her long red hair spilled over her shoulders and rippled down her back; the rays of the sun picked out the golden highlights in the rolling scarlet waves. James sighed again, he wondered if there was ever a girl who was as beautiful as Lily Evans.

Remus looked up, "Will you stop all that huffing and puffing, it's very distracting."

James pulled a face, "Sorry, but I can't concentrate when Lily's over there."

Remus just smiled softly and returned to his work. His friend had been mooning around after Lily Evans for most of their time at Hogwarts, so far however she had easily resisted all attempts of his to date her and had stubbornly decided to actively dislike him. That is, until recently. Very recently she had began to relent towards his friend but Remus couldn't shake the niggling suspicion that it wasn't all to do with James and his charms as he liked to think.

"Should we ask her to come over and sit with us? She looks lonely over there by herself." James looked at Remus for clarification.

"Sure, go and ask her. Anything to stop you distracting me, I've written this sentence three times and it still doesn't make any sense." Remus replied frowning at his parchment.

Sniggering James stood up and crossed the quiet room towards the bent back of Lily Evans. Sliding into the seat next to her he shot her a winning smile. "Alright, Evans?"

"Oh, hello, Potter. I'm fine, you?"

"Just great." He replied.

Lily smiled and turned her attention back to her text book, "did you want something?"

Ruffling his brown hair absently James nodded, "Remus and I thought you might want to come and sit with us, you look lonely by yourself."

She smiled, the dimple in her right cheek winking at him. James couldn't help but stare at her mouth, ripe pink lips, lush and waiting to be kissed. Blinking he dragged his attention back to her face. "What did you say?"

"I said that's it very nice of you to offer, but I think I'll stay where I am." Lily tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, her eyes skittering from his face towards the door.

"Alright then," James replied disappointed, "I just thought I'd ask." Reluctantly he stood and shoved the chair back under the table, turning away he grinned when his eyes fell on the dishevelled appearance of his friend Sirius Black who had just entered the room.

"On second thoughts, I think I will come with you." Lily said standing and gathering her notes together, "Someone else can use this table then can't they?"

"Um, yeah. Good thinking." James picked up the heavier books for her half expecting her to ask if he thought she was incapable of managing by herself, but Lily didn't really seem to be taking much notice of what he was doing.

"Come on then, don't dawdle."

Raising his eyebrows in surprise James obediently followed Lily to the table where Sirius now sat with Remus, talking nine to the dozen as usual and as usual Remus wore the patient expression he had perfected for such occasions, when he was itching to get back to work but knew it would be impossible until he listened to the story.

Lily settled herself comfortably in the seat next to Sirius and he paused in mid sentence to survey her for a few seconds. He nodded politely before turning back to Remus and continuing, "…so then I walked her right the way back to the Hufflepuff common room and do you know what she said?"

"No, what?" Remus asked sighing softly.

"She said that I was the sweetest guy in Hogwarts and… wait for it…. She wants to thank me!" Sirius grinned widely a satisfied expression crossing his face.

Remus' eyebrows knit together in a frown, "So? Why is that reason for excitement?"

Sirius laughed his bark like laugh and elbowed Remus in the ribs, "I'm going to get thanked." He repeated with a knowing look.

"Oh." Remus flushed slightly at not grasping the situation straight away and nodded. "Great."

"So who's the girl, Padfoot?" James wondered.

Sirius glanced at Lily who watching him closely, her green eyes narrowed slightly. He cleared his throat, "Drea O'Brien in Hufflepuff."

"Wow, good one, Padfoot." James looked impressed, Drea O'Brien was one of the most attractive girls in Hogwarts, not that he thought she could compare to Lily of course.

Lily snorted, "From what I hear she thanks everyone for anything, Sirius. I wouldn't let it go to your head."

Sirius flushed slightly, "Yeah well, that's hardly the point."

Lily just shrugged, "If that's your mentality."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sirius demanded glaring over at her.

She raised a perfectly arched eyebrow slowly and examined Sirius' annoyed face. "Just that if that's all you think about, if your shallow enough and pathetic enough to think with your hormones instead of the good sense you were born with it's you own look out. Girls know a lot more about other girls than boys will ever know, Sirius. I'd be very careful if I were you, that's all I'm saying."

James listened to the frosty exchange in surprise, he hadn't ever heard Lily talking like this before, he had thought she was the type to live by the old saying: if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all.

He knew that Lily was feisty, that she could sometimes allow her temper to get the better of her and he liked it when she was arguing passionately for something she cared about or believed in. But for the life of him James couldn't understand the flashing of her green eyes and the angry flush that coloured her cheeks as she argued with Sirius. Although he did think it was rather nice that Lily thought so much of Sirius that she was trying to help him.

Irritably Sirius pushed himself up from the seat, the muscle in his jaw twitching alarmingly, a sure sign of his agitation. "Blow me, Evans." He snapped heatedly.

"You wish, Black." She shot back, her face and body tense as she looked up at him.

"Later, Prongs." Sirius nodded at James and patted Remus on the shoulder before twisting on his heel and storming from the room, Lily's eyes on his back.

Only once Sirius had left did Lily return her attention to her homework. An awkward silence hung around the table, James gave Remus a quizzical look but he just shrugged and gave him an I-Have-No-Idea-What's-Going -On face.

Spending the afternoon in Lily's company did not go as James had planned. She spoke only about homework and refused to allow him to drag her into any form of personal conversation. James came to the conclusion that he knew nothing more about Lily Evans than he had at the beginning of the day.

"It's about supper time now wouldn't you say, Moony?" James asked ruffling his hair, a bored look on his face.

Remus nodded, "Yes I'd say so. Are you coming, Lily?"

"No, I'm not really very hungry, I'll probably see you in the common room later." Lily replied bestowing a smile on both boys.

James' mood perked up considerably at this smile and suggestion and hurriedly agreed to it. "Yeah, we could all have a game of chess or exploding snap or something couldn't we? As a bit of a reward for all this hard work, I'll even swipe you a blueberry muffin from supper." He added grinning wickedly at her.

Lily laughed, "That would be very nice, thank you, Potter."

James practically floated from the library behind Remus and whistled joyfully during their walk to the Great Hall. "Looks like things are finally looking up with Evans."

Remus grinned, "She certainly seems to tolerate you much more than she has in the past." He agreed shifting the books in his arms, "And she was a lot of help for me with that potions essay, she's better at that subject than I am."

"I never realised she was that smart to be honest. I learnt a lot just listening to her."

Remus rolled his eyes, "You'd learn the same if you listened to me every once in a while."

James laughed easily, "Look like Evans and I might start listening."

Remus laughed with him as they entered the Hall and spotted Peter and Sirius a little way down the Gryffindor table. Sirius didn't look like he was in any better a mood now than when he left the library and James gazed curiously at him as he sat down.

Sirius didn't look up when his two friends claimed the seats opposite him but continued to cut viciously into his stake.

"Where have you two been all day?" Peter asked as he heaped more potatoes onto his plate.

"In the library working, what have you been doing?" Remus asked pouring himself a drink.

"Been in the common room in a chess match. I'm in the semi finals." Peter told them beaming proudly.

"Nice one Wormtail." James grinned. "What about you, Padfoot? Where did you disappear to?"

Sirius glanced up, "Just mooching around that's all. Nothing exciting. I have a headache, I think I'll go back to the common room."

"Oh, will you pop into the library on the way? I think I left my Herbology book there." Remus said while shuffling through the books and parchment he had set on the bench beside him.

"Yeah sure." Sirius replied distantly as he turned and wandered towards the door.

Peter frowned, "What's up with Padfoot? He's been acting weird since he came back to the common room earlier."

"He had a bit of a run in with Lily Evans." Remus explained, "It was really rather odd. Oh no! Prongs, Lily is still in the library and I've sent Padfoot there!"

James rolled his eyes and stood up, "No worries, Moony. I'll go and find him." He smiled at the relaxed look on his friends face. "Maybe I'll even take the blueberry muffin now, get me in her good books and I can hang out with her a bit on my own." He added swiping the biggest muffin from the basket in front of him.

Peter tilted his head and gazed over at his friend, his eyes watery as always and his chubby cheeks looking bigger as he chewed his food. "Isn't it a man's heart you get to through food, not a woman's?"

"Food would certainly get anyone to your heart." James responded eyeing the piled up plate of food. "Anyone would think you wouldn't be eating again for a week rather than a few hours."

Peter frowned, "The way you go on anyone would think you wanted me to starve. I'm hungry, Prongs…."

"Will you go on." Remus interrupted, "Padfoot could be in the library by now."

James held up his hands as a sign of surrender, "Alright, alright, I'm going." Chuckling he made his way out of the Hall whistling cheerily to himself.

The corridors were deserted due to the fact that everyone was in the Great Hall for supper. Excitement leapt in the pit of James' stomach at the thought of being alone with Lily Evans in the dimness of the library, hidden away from prying eyes behind mountainous shelves of books.

At least the library was good for one thing!

James was not bookish, he disliked having to sit around in class and listen to Professors banging on about stuff he had no interest in. He was glad he was such good friends with Sirius and Peter, they disliked being still as well, especially Sirius. He was like the brother he had never had, he was closer to Sirius that he was to Remus and Peter, although he loved all three of them like brothers.

Remus, being a prefect tried his hardest to reign in him and Sirius and their wild antics, but it never worked. Peter was easier to curb, he was more of a follower, he and Sirius were the masterminds, the instigators of all the crimes. James chuckled easily.

He had a touch of sympathy for poor Moony, he was the good boy, the quiet one, the one who would go far with his brains if he didn't shy away from those who tried to get close to him. He was the voice of reason, the one who pushed the others into action, into working, into doing the right thing, and as much as he liked to tease him about it, James knew Remus was the voice of reason and he was glad of it, glad of him on more than one occasion.

Sirius, he was his wing man, he was his partner in crime, the wilder side of him. James knew he could be careless, he could be reckless, but never the way Sirius was. Sirius took risks that didn't need to be taken, Sirius lived his life for the moment, and James admired that about him. Half of him wished he could be more like Sirius, then perhaps he would have enough courage to actually tell Lily exactly how he felt about her.

Arriving at the library James pushed open the door and entered the dark room. Madam Pince had gone for supper and there didn't seem to be anyone around at all. He headed for the corner of the room where he had been sitting earlier knowing that was where Lily would be if she were still around and also Moony's book.

He grinned when he pictured the grateful looks that would come his way from his friend and Lily when he arrived to break up the hard tension between them and stop the argument before it got out of hand. James made a mental note to tell Sirius not to argue with Lily when she was only trying to help. It was a good sign if she was trying to help his friends, one step away from helping him.

As he rounded a corner Sirius' teasing voice came at him from the other side of the high shelves, parting the books James peered through the gap to see what was going on.

"Blow me,"

"You wish." Lily shot back.

"You get me with that every time." Sirius huffed. "What difference does it make who I date anyway, Evans?" He asked, the playful tone had gone and his voice was hard and demanding.

"Evans?" Lily sounded quite hurt by the use of her surname. "So it's Evans now is it? What happened to Lily?"

Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his unruly black hair, "Look, Lily, just leave it will you?"

"No I won't. I don't understand you Sirius, one minute your all over me, the next your pushing me away. You won't look at me, you won't talk to me. I don't understand."

"You are driving me insane!" Sirius yelled suddenly, he jabbed an accusing finger at her, "You came and sat with my friends today just to get under my skin didn't you? You have no idea of the damage you could cause!"

Lily sniffed, "Stop shouting at me, Sirius."

Sirius seemed to regain his composure. "I didn't mean to shout, but your not listening to me. You have to let it go, Lily. If this ever got out it could destroy everything."

Lily stiffen, her head tilted defiantly. "Oh yes," She began scathingly, "I'd forgotten your reputation, Sirius. We wouldn't want anyone to know that the son of the noble, pureblood house of Black slept with a dirty mud blood would we?"

Sirius blanched at her words. "That's not what I meant. You know I don't think of you as a mud blood, I'd never call you that." He ran a hand across his forehead.

"You just think of me as a one night wonder is that it? A passing fancy? The girl who happened to be in your line of vision at the right time? A one night stand? I know it didn't escape your notice that one night stands aren't my style, Sirius" Lily raged, her hands on her hips as she glared at Sirius.

"Will you stop putting words in my mouth, Lily? I know it was more than that, for you and for me, but I wasn't thinking at the time. Nothing can happen with us again. I won't let it, so do us both a favour and leave me alone. Please, Lily." He begged, his eyes wide and pleading.

"But, Sirius…."

Sirius interrupted her, "No! No buts. Just leave me alone." He twisted on his heel but Lily grabbed his arm and spun him back round to face her before he could go anywhere.

"I don't understand, Sirius. If your saying I mean more to you than a one night thing, why can't we be together? Is it because of my background? Because of who I am?" Lily's voice was desperate as she questioned him, her eyes swimming with unshed tears.

"No! " Sirius yelled angrily. "It's James!"

James jumped guiltily in his hiding position, he was just getting ready to explain why he was spying and eavesdropping, thinking that Sirius had spotted him when Lily's reply interrupted him.

"James? You mean Potter?"

"Who else?" He asked dryly.

"But…well, he's a nice guy, a good friend to you I know that. But you can't let him dictate your life for you. So he has a little crush, it'll pass." Lily offered tentatively.

Sirius sighed heavily, "No, Lily…."

"Yes, Sirius." she interrupted flinging herself at him and planting her lips on his.

James' jaw dropped open as he watched Lily wrap herself around his best friend, her fingers dug into his hair and her body pressed up against his. Sirius arms encircled Lily's slender frame and he was kissing her back. He seemed to suddenly gain control of himself and gripping Lily by the shoulder's Sirius propelled her away from him.

"James is in love with you. He's my friend, he's like my brother, he matters to me and I wouldn't hurt him for the world." He told her, his words had a hint of finality to them.

Lily took a step back, she raised a hand to wipe at the lone tear that had escaped from her eye. Swallowing she nodded her head slowly, quickly she gathered her books together keeping her back to Sirius, but James could see clearly the pain on her face his friends words had created.

Straightening up her voice was loaded with sadness when she finally spoke, "If one day I actually start to matter please let me know."

Sirius said nothing and made no attempt to stop Lily from leaving despite her obvious wish for him to do so. He stood tall and straight but kept his eyes on the floor. Only once he was sure Lily was gone did Sirius look up.

A sad expression flittered across his handsome face and his eyes looked dead and lost as he stared at the spot where Lily has stood only seconds ago. "Merlin dam it!" He raged kicking the chair beside him in frustration. "You owe me big, Prongs." He muttered curling his hands into fists. Giving the chair another swift kick for good measure Sirius snatched up Remus book and stalked off.

James hadn't realised that he was holding his breath until it came out in one long gasp. He was stunned, he couldn't believe what he had seen, what he had been a witness too. Lily and Sirius? Sirius and Lily. Black and Evans, Evans and Black. His Padfoot and his Lily.

Shaking his head in the hope of clearing it James tried to understand what had happened to him. Lily wanted Sirius, Sirius had been with Lily. He shuddered, and waited for the anger and sense of betrayal to come. But it didn't, he just felt deflated and extremely disappointed.

He had thought this new interest in him and his friends from Lily was about her finally coming around to his way of thinking, when all along it had been Sirius she was interested in. She hadn't been looking after Sirius earlier as he had thought, she was jealous of him with another girl.

A wave of guilt swept over him, Sirius had chosen him, he had pushed Lily away because their friendship meant so much to him. Even when he wasn't directly involved he managed to get into Lily's bad books, she would no doubt blame him for not being able to be with Sirius.

James consoled himself with the thought that Sirius was a good looking and charming guy, he could get any girl he wanted to and had proven that time and time again. Sirius didn't go in for deep feelings when it came to girls, although James knew deep down that Sirius wouldn't have gone near Lily if he didn't feel something strong for her.

But he had pushed her away, Sirius had made his decision and James was suddenly very determined to make sure that his friend never regretted what he had done. James would be eternally grateful for what Sirius had done, maybe in the future there would still be a chance for him and Lily, where they could be together and be happy, when she would have gotten over this thing with Sirius. Then Sirius would be glad he had done what he had, he would see that he had made the right decision; because James just couldn't picture a life ahead of him without Lily in it.

Somehow James just knew that Lily was meant to be in his life, and he was determined that Sirius would never regret paying the price of friendship with his feelings for Lily.