Hi guys, so this is my first fan fiction ever and honestly I don't really know what I'm doing so reviews and constructive criticism are much appreciated. Well, anyway I hope you enjoy the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Bob's Burgers or any of the characters in this story.

Chapter 1

The nine year old girls' furious scream could be heard clear across town to the Wonder Warf, halting only when she had to gasp for some much needed air.

"What just friggin happened?" she yelled dumbfounded, desperately trying to cover the top of her head with her hands. Her two siblings stood a few feet away, mouths agape, fearing that their younger sister would turn her rage upon them, merely from lack of any more deserving victims.

Fortunately for them, she turned and dashed in the direction of their house, small hands still glued to the top of her head.

The two siblings left behind, looked at each other and let out a simultaneous breathe of relief before following in the same direction as their sister.

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When Louise Belcher finally reached her family residence she was out of breath from her rigorous sprint and nearly collapsed to her knees at the front entrance. She endured the wobbling of her small legs and yanked the door open, one hand still trying in vain to cover the top of her head.

She rushed up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time. Her foot caught near the top and she fell almost flat on her face, catching herself on her elbows at the last second.

She stumbled to her feet, thinking offhandedly that she was going to have some nasty bruises, and continued to her room.

Finally reaching her bedroom, she slammed the door shut behind her and slid down to the floor, her hands falling away from her head at the same time. Now that she was alone she could try to process what had just happened.

Her ears were gone, taken by some stupid teenager. She felt uncomfortable and exposed, like some great piece of her identity was missing. Which, she supposed, it was. She could hardly remember a time when she was without her pink bunny ears.

She could feel the anger building up inside her, threatening to explode at any moment. Her thoughts were flooding with a multitude of plans for getting revenge on the blonde boy, ideas increasing by the second.

A smile began to creep across her face at the thought of retaliation, growing wider until she was laughing uncontrollably.

Louise stood up and grabbed a navy hoodie from her closet, pulled it on and covered her head with the hood.

There was no way that scumbag teenager was going to get away with this. He had no idea who he was messing with, but Louise would show him.

She was going to take back her ears no matter what.

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The next day, Louise asked Tina and Gene to cover for her so she could enact her plans for retrieving her stolen ears.

She snuck out of school early and made her way to the steps where the teenagers spent their afternoons. She pulled the strings of her hoodie tighter around her head and tried to ignore the heat from the afternoon sun.

When she arrived at the steps there was no sign of the teens yet. Good, she thought, maybe this would give her the upper hand.

She positioned herself on the steps to wait, deciding to show mercy and give the blonde a chance to relinquish her hat before doing anything too drastic.

It didn't take long before Louise heard approaching voices accompanied by the distinct sound of skateboards rolling along the sidewalk. Three teenage boys came rolling into view but it was the one wearing a set of pink bunny ears that caught her attention.

Louise could feel her rage bubbling up again at the sight of some random boy wearing her ears. Her ears!

She took a deep breath and tried to stamp down her temper. She needed to stay calm if she wanted to keep her wits about her, tackle the situation rationally.

The boys stopped, looking a bit perplexed when they saw Louise sitting there.

"Hello." She said, standing up. "I see you're wearing my ears." She took a few measured steps towards the blonde. Stay calm Louise, she reminded herself.

"Oh, they're off center a smidge, let me just… Gah!" She lunged for her hat, hoping to take the boy by surprise but he jerked back out of reach.

So much for calm and rational, she thought.

With a frustrated shout, she jumped at him again but he just grabbed her arm, holding her at bay with minimal effort. He towered a good foot and a half over her and she silently cursed her small stature.

"Nice try kid," he said, before releasing her arm.

"Fine," she said, huffing out a breath and brushing non-existent dirt from her hoodie. "We're all young professionals here." She pasted a sweet, innocent smile on her face and attempted to look docile.

"I'm Louise; by the way, I don't think I got your name." She grinned up at him, the picture of friendliness.

He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously before answering. "Logan." He slowly drew out the vowels in a way that revealed his wariness.

"Logan." Louise extended the vowels in much the same way he had. "What's this?" She reached into the front pocket of her hoodie and pulled out a small wad of cash.

"Oh, it's 1234…9 dollars for the hat." She spread the bills out like a fan and waved them in front of his face. She knew it was a long shot but hoped the teen was hard up for cash and would just take the deal.

She waited for a few hopeful moments while Logan stared at the money, then down at her, eyebrows raised.

"You can't buy me, like some cheap sex lady."

Her false smile fell away at his response. Louise was seriously running low on patience and she could see that this was going nowhere. She let out a vicious scream, losing the last bit of restraint she had on her temper, and charged Logan again.

She reached desperately for her hat but her efforts were fruitless. He held her back just as smoothly as before.

Louise gritted her teeth as Logan began to skateboard circles around her. The childish taunts they threw at each other made even the young Louise feel embarrassed.

Something about the kid just ground at her nerves and made her lose control. She supposed it was because he had the guts to stand up to her, where most people she could easily cow with a few harsh threats.

Louise stopped for a moment to catch her breath. Her cheeks were on fire, from anger not humiliation, she told herself, which was probably only half true.

Her gaze was fixed on her shoes as she attempted to regain her composure, but she jerked her head up at the quickly fading sound of skateboard wheels. There she saw Logan, speeding down the street on his board.

"Oh, you are not getting off that easy." She said to herself, before dashing down the street after him.

By the time Louise caught up to him she was already breathless but refused to surrender.

"So," she said between wheezing gasps for air. "Where are we going? My calendar is wide open."

Logan ignored her, only sparing a glance from the corner of his eye as she struggled to keep pace with him.

Just as Louise thought her legs would collapse beneath her, Logan slowed to a stop in front of a large, yellow house. She looked up at the towering, Victorian style home feeling a bit more intimidated, but refusing to let it show.

Of course, she thought, He's rich.

Logan turned to her and said "Well, I'm home now so, run along kid." He looked slightly amused, watching her breathe heavily from the dogged chase.

There was no way this spoiled kid was keeping her ears. She would follow him forever if that's what it took, and she decided to tell him as much.

"No, we're home now." She said, shoving her finger at his chest for effect. "Until I get those ears back, wherever you go, I go." She trailed after him up the front steps. She would have followed him inside too if he hadn't slammed the door in her face.

But that was okay, she could wait.

Louise looked towards the pier and saw the sun just starting to set, the streets full with a warm, orange light. She walked down the front steps and found a nice, green patch of grass to lie down on, mostly hidden behind immaculately trimmed hedges.

The sun dropped further into the ocean. The luminous glow faded with it, replaced by dark, ever growing shadows.

Louise jerked her head to the side, startled by a rustling in the bushes. She blinked after a moment and shook her head. "Probably just a cat." She reassured herself quietly.

It's not that Louise was particularly afraid of the dark but anyone would be a bit unnerved in her situation. Alone and deprived of light in foreign territory. Especially a nine year old girl.

But that was okay because Louise wasn't a normal nine year old girl. She was tough and ruthless and she could do this. If it was to get her ears back, she could do anything. Right?

She rolled over, appreciating the feel of the lush lawn beneath her. The sensation of live grass wasn't something she got to experience often, living in an apartment/restaurant. She pressed her face to the greenery and breathed in the earthy scent.

Yeah. I can do this, she reaffirmed before drifting off to sleep.

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Louise started awake, alarmed by her unfamiliar surroundings. Her heartbeat increased rapidly before remembering where she was and why she was there.

She heaved a sigh of relief, sat up and leaned her back against Logan's house. The sky was now a dark, navy blue, brightened by a smattering of dull stars and a waning half-moon.

She looked down at her kupi-kochi wristwatch, it read just past eleven o' clock. She let out a frustrated growl at the thought that she had only slept for about two hours. This was going to be a long night.

Louise grabbed a bottle of water out of her backpack and took a long swig. She turned her head toward the sky and thought to look for constellations to pass the time, but before she got the chance, a pair of bright headlights swept across the house.

She quickly crawled behind the nearest bush and poked her head out to see a shiny, silver Mercedes' pull into Logan's driveway. The headlights shut off and a man wearing a dress shirt and glasses stepped out, a suit jacket draped over one arm. Logan's dad, she figured.

He looked worn and tired as he shuffled up the front steps, fumbling for his keys in the dark before entering the house. A single light flicked on before he managed to close the door.

Louise could hear a none-too-happy female voice, presumably Logan's mother, and the irritated responses coming from his father.

She scooted closer to the house and leaned against the wall again, her curiosity getting the better of her.

The voices were escalating, getting louder and hateful, more vicious than anything she had ever heard from her own parents. Yeah they fought sometimes, okay, more than sometimes, but nothing like this.

She felt a sudden twinge of guilt, like she was intruding on something personal, which, she supposed, was exactly what she was doing.

She scooted away from the house in an attempt to preserve some of the family's privacy. After moving a safe distance away, she laid back down in the grass hoping to catch a few more hours of sleep.

But when she looked up at the house a bit of movement in one of the second story windows caught her attention. She shuffled deeper into the shadows and kept her gaze trained on the window.

The moon bathed the building in just enough silvery light that she could make out the shape of two hands as they pushed the window open. A head of messy, blonde hair popped out of the shadows, half covered by a pair of bulky headphones.

Logan scanned the surrounding area, most likely verifying that the streets were empty. Fortunately for Louise, he didn't think to check his own front yard too carefully.

Reassured that no one was around, Logan climbed onto the window sill and sat with his legs dangling over the edge.

If Louise listened closely she could faintly hear the music from his headphones, something loud with thundering drums. It seemed fitting to the task of drowning out his parents riotous quarreling.

She felt more than a little bit creepy for watching him like this but she couldn't tear her eyes away.

She watched Logan's eyelids slide shut as he blew out a long breath, fiddling with something in his hands. It was her ears.

He opened his eyes and looked down at her hat for a moment, his expression unreadable, before pulling it back in his arm like his intention was to throw it. She watched the emotions on his face shift between anger and frustration before settling into a tired frown. His arm lowered, setting the bunny ears back on his lap with a discontented sigh.

Logan sat nearly motionless, his head upturned at the sky, for what Louise thought felt like hours but in reality was only about twenty minutes. She feared to make the slightest move, lest she be caught peeping on such a private moment. And that would just be uncomfortable for everyone involved.

But finally Logan removed his headphones and cocked his head toward the house, as if listening for any sound. Louise listened too, realizing that his parents arguing had at last subsided. She stared quietly as Logan climbed back into the room and shut the window, taking her ears with him.

Louise breathed a sigh of relief, no longer in danger of being discovered.

She wished she hadn't seen that. Wished she had never witnessed the dejected, weary expression Logan revealed when he thought no one was looking. She wanted him to be a shallow, spoiled brat with a perfect life so she could hate him. Hate him for taking what belonged to her even though he had everything.

But now she knew that he didn't really have everything, and once you know something, it's almost impossible to forget that you know it.

Louise reached up and settled her hands on the top of her head, reminding herself of what was missing and strengthening her resolve. Reminding herself that it didn't matter if Logan was sad and lonely, or that his parents argued non-stop.

None of it mattered to her because she was going to take back her ears one way or the other.

She closed her eyes in an attempt to get more sleep and tried to forget about Logan's stupid, lonely face in the moonlight.