Roses are Red, and Violets are Blue; Chapter 1
Disclaimer: I would say I own the rights to RWBY and RvB, but then I get a shotgun blast from Yang and Sarge to the dick.
AN: Well, let's give this a try. You people demanded, and so it shall be done! I shall create a fic focused eternally around the RWBY version of the Reds and Blues as a spinoff to 9MTL. For those who don't know, here's the lineup
Team CLAM.
Leader: Leonard Church; an asshole who uses a Sniper Spear combo (Epsilon), who's surprisingly decent with the spear, but obviously sucks at the sniper, and too proud to change Semblance is to create clones that take on a different aspect of his personality.
Partner: WAS Alison Tex, but now is Caboose
Lavernuis Tucker; Huge pervert and self-proclaimed ladies' man, uses a high tech plasma dual sword (Arbiter), but unfortunately, the weapon's strength lead to Tucker not really caring about his technique.
Alison Tex: The only cable huntress-in-training and a total bitch, uses gauntlets that have detachable knifes and a bolt action rifle (Lone Star) that can change into a bow staff, and is extremely skilled in unarmed combat. Semblance: Unknown. Partner: Tucker
Miachel J. Caboose; Strong as an Ursa, dumb as a rock, and makes Church's life a living hell. Uses a special machine gun hammer combo programed with a former Paladin Mech AI nicknamed Freckles, and has a history of driving his superiors over the edge, both figuratively and literally.
Team GSLD (Think Gold)
Leader: Dexter Griff; extremely lazy and king of bad habits. Uses a heavy impact grenade launcher with a wicked blade at the end (Griffshot. If it ain't broke, don't fix it)
Dick Simmons: Rule following Nerd and kickass through and through; Uses a guidable rocket launcher that doubles as a mace. (Trajectory endpoint)
Lopez: An android that was made during the same series as Penny, but permanently stuck on Spanish. Has an extreme amount of strength, and uses a special turret launcher. (The Inquisition. I know. How unexpected.)
Franklin D. Donut: He's not pink, he's lightish red, and a fashion designer to boot. Has a large stash of dust grenades and a high impact (Self-proclaimed stylish) pistol named Magenta Fluer.
Beacon Gym Teacher: Sarge; Hates Griff as much as he does the color blue, this man is a war vet from a war nobody knows…not even Sarge. Has a taste for the classics with his double barrel shotgun that students have come to know as the Sargeinator.
The Valhalla Forest of Vale. With a small amount of Grimm, this forest has served hunters for years as a good training ground and as a place to kick back in relax, and enjoy the beauty of nature before their next hunt.
Or in our main characters case, take a summer course taught by their insane gym teacher to make up for lost time.
"THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!" Yelled Church, leader of the Beacon team CLAM "Why do we have to spend our entire fucking summer in this shit hole because we got our last member, who mind you I still vote we kill him in the middle of the night and make it look like Grimm did it, to make up for lost time!"
"You're telling me dude. You can't pick up chicks in the middle of the fucking woods…can you?" asked his teal wearing companion as he began to unpack his stuff in the old outpost their team would be living in for the summer.
"Oh yes Tucker. I'm sure there's a pool of naked women in the middle of the fucking nowhere, just waiting to fucking sleep with you"
"Really?"
"I fucking hate everyone here."
"If Church is done having his hissy fit, tell him to get his sorry ass out here" Called a familiar uncaring voice.
Church rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath "Bitch"
"I heard that!"
"FUCK"
Alison Tex stood outside the small outpost, the ever present scowl on her face. "Come on you bunch of pussys, it can't be that bad. The Grimm aren't even that high around here." She said as she unloaded her duffel off the jeep that drove them here.
"You don't understand" Church said, his face full of dread. "It's not the Grimm I worried about. It's HIM" He said, gesturing towards their other teammate, Caboose, who was chasing a butterfly.
"Now I know you're bullshiting me. There is no way any person can be that bad. Hell, I don't even think he has the brain cells to be scary"
"That's the thing. He's SO FUCKING ANNOYING AND STUPID! He will make you wish death would come. I once back in Signal ended up in the fucking hospital because he tried to 'help' me by shooting me with a fucking tank shell!"
"He can't be that bad. You're just an asshole." Tex shrugged, still not buying it. Church was always full of shit, so this shouldn't be any different
"Lady, I know just how often Church is full of shit, but trust me. He is not exaggerating." Tucker said, with the same solemn tone as Church had used.
"Sshh, Mommy and Daddy are talking" Church and Tex both said to the aquamarine wearing perv.
"Fine. I'm gonna go look for a place to go… relax…." And with that, Tucker left the two alone.
"God I fucking hate this. My entire summer, out the fucking window thanks to stupid FUCKING Ozpin!" Church ranted.
"Hey, I'm pissed about this too. I could be out there kicking ass and making money, but I'm stuck with you losers. So quite you're bitching."
"Greedy Bitch"
"Self-centered Asshole"
"Just un pack your crap Church."
"Fine" Church huffed, walking off to get his stuff into his bunk "Bet the reds have it better than us" He muttered under his breath.
"ALRIGHT YOU CUPCAKES, LET ME MAKE ONE THING CLEAR!" Bellowed the ever red wearing Sarge "I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY LAZYNESS HERE AT RED BASE! AM I CLEAR NUMNUTS!"
Dick Simmons stood in attention "Sir Yes Sir!"
Dexter Griff rolled his eyes "Sure Sarge" he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm "I'll make sure to work EXTRA hard on my naps."
"WAS THAT SARCASM I HEARD, DIRTBAG" Sarge growled leaning towards the orange slacker.
"Nooo Sarge. Using sarcasm on a commanding officer? What kind of hunter do you take me for?" Griff said in the same sarcastic tone.
"Why you little convening good for nothing-"Sarge grumbled off
"Permission to speak sure?" Simmons asked, his hand raised
"Permission granted Simmons"
"I was told I could take this course as extra credit, and I'm just curious as to what we'll be doing here sir." Simmons asked, standing in attention.
"Good question Simmons. I brought you to this wonderful place to give the best learning experience I can give." Sarge said
"A nice classroom lesson on grimm hunting tactics and math lessons?" Simmons said with stars in his eyes?"
"Fashion and Interior design?" Donut asked
"You're all wrong maggots. Over the course of this summer, you will be exposed to the greatest teacher known to man, next to me over course. WAR!" Sarge said with glee "You will be fighting against the team on the other side, unfortunately simulating, a war!"
"A war? Sir. Doesn't that seem… a bit extreme?" Simmons asked nervously. He did not sign up to fight a war. All he wanted to do was get in Sarge's good graces!
"The fight against the enemy is always extreme Simmons! That's why you must always know just what to expect! Like…right now!" Sarge yelled, turning around and firing his shotgun at nothing. "Damn. They got away. I'll get you one day…."
"So let me get this straight. You want us, to spend in an entire summer, fighting against grimm and the blues, in some sort of war simulation, when I could have been sitting around doing nothing?" Griff said
"That's right dirtbag"
"I fucking hate you."
"WHAT WAS THAT MAGGOT"
"I said I was lucky to have you" Griff said, his voice full of sarcasm.
"That's what I thought!" Sarge said, missing the sarcasm by a mile "Now, due to the fact that this is the only team that failed their semester, I will be personally overseeing you, even camping with you!"
"OH COME ON! The blues have a girl on their team, you trust them alone in the woods?" Griff complained
Sarge merely pointed his gun at Griff "The only reason they are here is because they to work with their teammate who came late last semester. As for the girl, I she is better than all 4 of you numnuts put together. Not as good as me, of course, but by the time I'm done with you, there will only be RED!" On this note, Sarge drove off in his jeep, leaving the team to unpack.
Griff was the first one to speak "Somehow, that doesn't reassure me"
"Dude what the hell! You completely blew my chances of impressing Sarge!" Simmons moaned, pulling at his hair.
Griff just merely shrugged "Hey man, don't blame it on me."
"Blame it on you? Of course I'm gonna blame it on you! You're grades are the only reason we're here you fucking idiot!" The maroon hunter yelled, jabbing his finger at Griff.
"Hey, I told you straight from the start that you needed to do my work. So technically, this is your fault"
"And I told you to do your own damn work!"
"Look Simmons, quite trying to blame me for your failures."
"BUT IT WAS YOU WHO FAILED!"
Donut and Lopez stood by as the two continued to picker.
"Wow Lopez, I'm sure glad we got along better than those two." Donut said as he began to design his room with all sorts of décor.
"Estoy rodeado de idiotas" The android merely deadpanned as he looked at his 'team'
("I'm surrounded by idiots")
"You're right Lopez, This lamp shade would look better over here!"
"Mátame ahora"
("Kill me now")
"Aw thanks"
And so, we begin our tale. Of reds and blues, of grimm monsters, and their own stupidity. A summer that could have been spent carefree, now being used to make up for failures and time. But Roses are red, and violets are blue, and one day we'll cruise down Blood Gulch Avenue…
Omake: RWBY Shipping PSA
"Is it on?"
"Yeah, I think it is"
The camera turned on to reveal Griff and Simmons standing behind a make shift green skin, held up by duct tape and poorly hammered in nails.
"Remind me again why we're doing this?" Griff asked
Simmons rolled his eyes "Because idiot, this is extra credit, which you need."
"Need, or you want?"
"If you do this we can get out of this canyon faster"
"Hi, I'm Dexter Griff, leader of the freshmen team GSLD at Beacon!" The orange hunter said with vigor he lacked just moments ago
"And I'm Dick Simmons from team."
"And we're here today to talk about a thing now days know as shipping."
Simmons gestured towards the green screen where text poped up "Now, most people are asking themselves, what is shipping? Shipping is what happens when a 3rd party wants two separate people to get into a relationship. Now what you're thinking, isn't that something done by lonely people who live in their basements and can't get their own date. And if you're thinking that...then your absolutely right. Ya freaking creep" Griff deadpanned
Simmons looked at Griff with horror "HEY! DON'T YOU TALK SMACK ABOUT MY OTP"
"What?"
"For uncultured swine like Griff here, OTP means one true pairing. Let's take it over to our teammate Franklin Donut"
The camera then turned to Donut, holding his scroll while standing next to a project. "Thanks guys, I'll fill them in with all I have!"
"STOP THAT!"
"As you can tell, with shipping, there are many different aspects! Fanart, prompts, forums, online community, and of course, works of fan made literature...like fanstories! Why even the students at Beacon, ourselves included, are shipped!"
At this, Griff and Simmons both looked to Donut. "WHAT?!"
"You're telling me some fucking pedophile is playing cupid?"
"Wait, us too? I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST THE UPPERCLASSMEN"
Donut nodded "Yup! Our team has alot of what fans call Yowhee!"
"Oh god...and it's yoai Donut" Simmons corrected the lightish red grenader. fearing for the worst
"Yup, there's you and Griff-"
"NO WAY IN HELL" Both hunters said at once.
"Awh, but there's no denying you got great chemistry together!"
Griff looked Donut dead in the eye. "I would rather deal with Sarge all day than be forced to date this loser. Besides, I'm straight!"
Donut shrugged "Well, its funny you say that because that's another popular ship!"
At this, a shotgun blast was shot dangerously close to Donut. the 3 hunters turned around to see said gym coach reloading his shotgun "There is no way in sam hell, that I will even condone the thought of that in this universe and the next Dirt bags." He said, slapped Griff upside the head, then walked out of the room
"Owwwwww" Griff moaned, holding his head. "What did I do?"
At this Sarge yelled from the other room "IS THAT COMPLAINING?"
"Just get on with it Donut."
The pink-IMeanLightishRed Hunter continued "Well, on our year, popular ships are Church x Tex or Chex-"
Simmons paled at this "Wait, Tex as in the deadliest student in our year? What sane man would try and tap that!?"
"- Then of course, Caboose and Church-"
"Ha! Suck it blue!" Griff laughed at this
"And then in the upper years, there the team RWBY and JNPR pairings."
Griff rolled his eyes at this "Oh joy, team RWBY. What kind of leader names their own team after themselves. Dumbass."
"Says the idiot who named his own weapon the Griffshot!" Simmons yelled
"Oh yeah, like your math term is sooooooooooo much better"
"Why you little-" And at that, Griff and Simmons began to argue like crazy.
Donut looked to the camera "Well, as those lovers quarrel, let Donut fill in your hole! In team RWBY we have many ships, all of them Yuri! First there's White Rose, for people who ship the leader, Ruby Rose, with her partner, Weiss Schnee! Then there's Bumblebee shipping the Yang Xaoi Long and her partner, Blake Belladonna. These are the popular ships inside the team, with side ships of Enabler the incest relatonship of Ruby x Yang, Monochrome; the Blake x Weiss, Ladybug; the Blake x Ruby, and of course Freezerburn; which pairs Weiss and Yang. Then there's JNPR, with Arkos spearheading it, the pairing of Jaune and Pyrrha, though that seems kinda dead recently...then theirs the all but confirmed Rennora, which as the name implies, ships Ren and Nora. There is one other main ship, one that has the two awkward leaders pinned for one another like a socially impaired Redoe and Blueliet. This ship is called Lancaster...hey why is it called that?"
"What the hell are you guys doing"
The camera turned to reveal team CLAM walking into the base with a very angry looking Allison Texas brandishing an even angrier looking knife "What...the...hell...is...this..." She gritted out, holding up her scroll, to reveal a live feed.
"Well folks, guess thats it on our PSA today! Now I gotta go...OH GOD DON'T STICK THAT UP THERE!"
AN: And done with chapter 1! Review and like, and leave any ideas you might want me to but these guys through or characters you want to make an appearance!
