Title: ATM: The Bonehead and the Brain - Hunter goes to Peru

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story with the exceptions of Bayley Black Heart, Blinky, Summer, Justice, the ARK Angels of DX, Angelo Jericho, Angela Jericho, Beth Hardy, LC Michaels, Carla McCool. Dan McCool, Charlotte McCool, Charlene "Mac" MacKenzie, Cassidy Montenegro, Brandon Montenegro, Annabel Montenegro, Henry (the Dean of Harvard) and Kendrick Alexander No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: T

Summary: Hayworth goes on a student trip and Hunter decides to tag along
leaving Shawn to run DX Inc. Will the sugary side of DX be able to handle the roster on his own?

Chapter One - No Dad!

Harvard, Cambridge, MA

While things were getting ugly at the Performance Center, the Helmsley family was exchanging celebratory comments with the Head of Science and faculty over the results of the last assignment. Hayworth Horace Helmsley, Triple H's firstborn son and Angelo Jericho, the son of the damned and departed Chris Jericho had all scored incredibly high and the science team was more than impressed.

"If he keeps this up, your son will be graduating about two years early. I've never seen such a high level of intelligence from any student at Harvard science, ever," the Head of Science said and Chyna rubbed her son's head lovingly.

"He gets it from me, not his father," Chyna said as Hunter was making fart jokes with the other students who were insanely jealous of Hayworth and Angelo's academic achievement.

"All that money and you still suck, in your face jerks," Hunter said to the other students and Hayworth sighed.

"No Dad!" Hayworth said pulling his father away from the other students. "If you keep bragging on me, Angelo and I are going to catch Hell,"

"Or Heaven when Shawn gets here, he's gonna be so stoked when he finds out my son is way smarter than his," Hunter continued to brag and Joanie tried to warn Shawn that her husband was functioning on a whole new level of obnoxious. She texted Shawn but HBK's phone was switched off.

"Dad Cameron doesn't even go to Harvard," Hayworth said confused at his father's comments.

"Exactly, dumbass wasn't smart enough to get in," Hunter said shaking the lecturer's hand.

"Who wasn't smart enough to get in?" Miss Alexander asked Hayworth.

"My god brother Cameron Cade Michaels, he's my father's best friend's son which I'm sure you could tell by the way my dad's been trashing him for the past few minutes," Hayworth said unimpressed by his father's attitude.

"Cameron Cade Michaels, why does that name sound so familiar?" Miss Alexander wondered and she reached into her lab coat for her cell phone and did a search through her files.

"What are you doing?" Angelo Jericho asked her as she scrolled through her archive of student files.

"I thought that name sounded familiar," she said turning her phone to Hunter. "Is this the boy you were just trashing?"

Hunter looked down at a picture of what was definitely HBK's firstborn son.

"Even his photos suck, dude can't match up to you in any way Hayworth," Hunter continued to brag.

"Dad stop!" Hayworth insisted losing his patience. "Why do you have a picture of Cameron on your phone?" he asked his girlfriend.

"Don't be jealous I received an application last year but it was withdrawn before we could process it," Miss Alexander said.

Hayworth, Angelo, Chyna and Hunter frowned.

"Cameron applied to come to Harvard?" Chyna asked confused.

"Obviously he failed so let's not rub his face in it alright?" Hayworth said feeling bad for his god brother.

"Actually he got in. We wrote to him and told him he could start the same time as you, Angelo, Remi and RJ Orton but we never heard back from him," Miss Alexander said and everyone gasped.

"Cameron got into Harvard?!" they all said in unison.

"Yeah and that's not all. Cameron Cade Michaels actually got the highest score out of all of you guys for the entrance exam, so your son is not the smartest Hunter. Shawn Michaels well done on having such a brilliant son," Miss Alexander said to HBK who had just turned up to hear the news about Cameron getting into Harvard.

"I can't believe he didn't go for it Shawn," Chyna said to HBK while Hunter threw himself down on the ground and threw the biggest temper tantrum a grown man had ever thrown in the history of time.

"NOOOOOOOOOO! My son is a loser, a loser, just like his mom! This is your fault Joanie, why couldn't you speak more than five languages? Did you ever think that someone might need to learn Farsi, how selfish can one woman be?!" Hunter complained while Hayworth gawked at his father's behaviour in front of the Harvard science faculty.

The Head cleared his throat, "Anyway congratulations Hayworth, you're still the smartest kid in your family. Clearly that was no easy feat given your father's extraordinary resemblance to the apes at Cambridge Zoo," the Head of Science said shaking Hayworth's hand.

"Actually those apes clean up after themselves, I still have to pick up after my husband," Chyna explained and the science team nodded with sympathy. "Its like I'm a single mother sometimes, raising three children and their ape father,"

"Dad get up, stop throwing banana peels at everyone!" Hayworth said as Hunter began to throw discarded banana peels that seemed to come out of nowhere.

"Wow I'm starving," Angelo said catching one of the bananas before it hit the ground. "I stayed up all night waiting for these results I've barely eaten a thing,"

"Well it worked because you only scored one point less than Hayworth," the Head of Science said.

"You should be proud of yourself Angelo," Miss Alexander said shaking Angelo's hand.

Hunter gaffed, "Yeah, you're almost as smart as my son, just like your father was always one step behind me. Way-to carry on the family tradition Angelo. How did you get into Harvard anyway? If I were you I'd quit now and go figure out how to marry into my family instead,"

"You mean the way you tried to marry into the McMahon family?" Shawn said to Hunter who was still on the floor pouting.

"I tried Shawn I didn't succeed, just like your son tried to get into Harvard and failed. What's with that Shawn? Did you even know that he applied?" Hunter said confused.

"No but I'll talk to him about it later, now for the love of God, get up off the floor and pick up all these bananas!" Shawn said and Hunter started to throw his arms around like a real monkey.

The Harvard science faculty gasped in horror, "My God, its like he's degenerating," the Head of Science said and Hayworth sighed.

"That's exactly what's he's doing, he's a Degenerate," he said sadly.

"Some of us get it worse than others," Shawn explained and he forced Hunter up to his feet. "We gotta talk, something happened at the PC while we were celebrating Roman's cancer miracle,"

"Okay let me just make out with Joanie real quick and we'll talk," Hunter said and he French kissed Chyna who couldn't have said no even if she wanted to and Hayworth looked up to the Heavens and pleaded with God to send him a new father.

Hey that didn't work for me, Jesus replied and Hayworth sulked.

Jesus told him that Dads could be hard work but you still have to do what they say.

"Fine I won't pray for you to find me a new father anymore," Hayworth told Jesus and he grabbed his girlfriend and Angelo followed them to the dorms, far away from the make out session that had ensued between his parents and an appalled Harvard faculty while Shawn got rid of the bananas that were all over the floor.

"Mr. Michaels if you ever do find out why your son decided not to come here try to get him to reconsider. Mr. Hayworth Helmsley has a very bright future here but with his father being such a head case, it might bode you all well to be around someone with a lot more, um, let's say maturity?" the Head of the Science team said to Shawn who nodded.

"I'll try but I can't make any promises, I'm sure my son had a very good reason for not coming here," Shawn said and he truly wanted to know what that good reason was.