Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama.

What's on Mrs. Okita's mind?

"Bandages"

'Well, what can I say?' Being married to a police officer sometimes requires you to tend on their wounds when they come home bloody. You'll have to think if there's detergent powder left for their uniforms too.

But when you're married to the one of the top Bakufu dogs also known as Shinsengumi First Division Captain Okita Sougo, you have another plate of trouble coming your way to the point of asking your past 23 year old, sane self why did you even agreed to marry a trouble magnet sadist police officer?

Yes, you love him at some point but the number of your vermilion hair strands are starting to decrease because of pulling them out when you get stressed seeing his freshly cut skin.

'Okita Sougo, remind me again why did I marry you?'

"There, all finished." Kagura said, patting her husband's bishounen cheek.

They are in the kitchen counter right now and Kagura just finished bandaging Sougo's injuries he got four days ago from a drug bust fight.

Some skilled criminal managed to slice the sadist's chest when he was busy fighting other criminals in a sword fight. He didn't have the time to deflect the sudden attack but luckily the cut was not that deep or so he said.

The sadist didn't even went to the hospital but instead gave his wife the trouble of tending him in the middle of the night. Jerk.

'Does he even know that her beauty sleep is important so she can stay radiant because she's starting to look old due to the stress he gives her everyday? '

"Are you on a patrol duty today?" Kagura asked, organizing the first aid kit box laying on the tiled kitchen counter.

"Fortunately, yes. Hijikata-san assigned me to lighter tasks while I'm healing." Okita drawled while buttoning his white long sleeves.

Kagura glanced at his attempts and almost sighed when she saw that he is still struggling to do so. He's got an arm injury and broken forefinger from that operation four days ago so his hands are still shaking whenever he's using them.

"Let me." She pats his hands and button his clothing herself.

"My, my, aren't you a useful wife, China doll?"

"Nah, I'm just feeling kind to my husband today, sadist, so he'll buy me some sukonbu on his way back home later."

He tweaks her nose.

"Only if my wife started making me bento so I could escape Hijikata-san's mayonnaise cuisine for lunch."

She grinned. "What an ungrateful husband. After nursing his injuries, this is what I'll get? Sadness."

Once she's finished with the buttons, Kagura reached for his cravat and put it around his neck.

She frowned.

"How do I do this again? Gosh, this thing still confuses me." She muttered innocently.

"Tsk tsk tsk. I forgot that you are an idiot."

Sougo removed Kagura's hands from his cravat and put them each on his shoulders . "Watch and learn."

She watched as he skillfully fix his cravat albeit his staggering hands. Damn, that was fast. Who knew some housewives still don't know how to do their husband's necktie?

Well, they don't have to know she belongs to that minority.

He smirks at her dumbfounded reaction. "Don't over think, your tiny brain will break. Besides, I'm not going to divorce you over some silly cravat skills you lack of." There's a taunt in that sentence.

"Tch." Kagura glared at him that made his smirk a little bit wider. This is one of the moments that makes her want to strangle her husband. Policeman or not.

If you think that they are 24 and 28 years old respectively and stopped their bickering after all these years, you are gravely mistaken.

Okita Sougo is still that 18 year old idiot-sadist that loves to provoke and play with Kagura's last string of patience like a guitar.

"Shut up, Okita Sougo, or I'll poison your Tabasco poison in the refrigerator." She threatened and puffed her cheeks. She closed the first aid box.

"Your jacket is on the sofa." She called out from the bathroom where she put the box. She turned only to crash her nose on a hard chest.

"OW! What the hell?!" She looked up to the crimson eyes staring down at her.

Did he followed her here?

"What?" Kagura asked confused.

"I'm leaving for work." He replied.

"So?" She raised her eyebrows, still have no idea why he followed her to the bathroom.

"So kiss me, idiot."

"Oh. Yes, yes. I forgot I have to kiss you before you go." She gasped sarcastically. It's her time to smirk when he got annoyed.

Hehehe. She thought he wouldn't notice her subtle revenge.

You see, he maybe a sadist at heart but over the years Kagura have known the Captain, there's one adorable thing that she discovered about him.

Okita Sougo is a cute Chihuahua when he wants to be affectionate.

She tiptoed and ready to smack her lips to his cheek when he encircled his arms around her waist. "Oof!" She managed to hook her chin on his right shoulder. She got caught off guard by his sudden gesture.

"Oi!"

"Here, China, kiss me here." He touched his lips with his point finger as if instructing a lunatic on what to do. She's still amazed on how can he do that while sounding like a dead deadpan.

'Hmph, is this idiot telling me how to kiss my husband?'

She gave him a mischievous grin and puckered her lips like a duck for an additional dramatization. He looked disgusted that made her laugh loudly.

"You should have seen your face HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

Sougo just looked at her in boredom that made her stop her trolling. She rolled her cerulean eyes and tiptoed again.

"Damn it, you're so tall I can't reach your lips." She stopped midway and put her hands at the back of his flaxen head.

"I'm going to be late, China. Kiss me already or else--"

"Or else what, Sadist?" She challenged.

His smirk is back and his sadistic aura is back. "I'm gonna drop your sukonbu on the sewers lat--"

Okita didn't finished his sentence as Kagura's lips shut him up. He thank the gods that he's the one who married her or someone will be the most unfortunate man on Edo. He just saved a man from the disappointment of Kagura's sloppy kiss.

"Mmhenk ywou"

Kagura stopped kissing him and looked at her husband. "What are you mumbling about?" she asked. Sougo said something when she's kissing him that she didn't understand a bit.

He rolled his eyes. "I said 'thank you'. Don't make me say it again."

Her heart skipped a beat and she smiled. This is one of the moments she wants to pinch her husband and kiss him silly. Moments that are so rare she'll get lucky if it happens once in blue moon.

She bit her lower lip to stop herself from smiling like a maniac but one look from Sougo and she break in a fit of giddy giggles.

"You're welcome." She ruffles his sandy-colored bangs adorably. She gave him one last kiss on his Adam's Apple and they broke off their awkward hug. They have to be careful with those wounds after all.

"Don't forget my lunch, Mrs. Okita, or else..." he threatened playfully, a small smile tugging at his lips. With one last kiss on her eyelids, he walked to the door.

"Looking forward to seeing your ugly face later."

I love you.

"Che, who wants to see your face everyday? I'm already sick of it." Kagura retorted back, blowing her husband a mock flying kiss.

I love you too.

'Perhaps I should start making that spicy recipe I saw on TV yesterday.'

Fin~

Notes: The italicized sentences are Kagura's thoughts thus the title.