Surreal. Yes, that was the word. There was also amazing, mind boggling, incredible, wonderful, and enchanting. But surreal just seemed to capture the essence of what had just taken place. It didn't matter that Bianca had rejected Marissa. It didn't matter that she had walked away. The stunning brunette had kissed the redhead back, and that was all that mattered. She had kissed her back and there were so many promises packed in that kiss that it was impossible for Marissa to think of anything else. Of course, Bianca's ever logical brain had caught up with her intoxicating lips and she'd stopped herself, but that was only after Marissa had tasted the sweet promises of her love in the kiss. The fact that Bianca had walked away was only a minor misstep in the grander scheme of things, and it had done nothing to deter the redhead from doing what she had set out to do—and that was to make Bianca feel her love.
Marissa had professed, in words, how she felt about Bianca. The kiss had supplemented those words, but Bianca had still walked away, so obviously she had not been convinced. Marissa understood. Bianca had been hurt, most recently by her ex-wife Reese and so she wasn't ready to jump. Marissa understood. Bianca was one of the most remarkable women that Marissa had ever met. She was incredibly kind and loving, she was honest to a fault and she had been the best friend that Marissa had ever had. She was also a terrific mother, and she had two precious little girls to protect. Marissa understood why Bianca would have two guard dogs and a fence of barbed wire around her heart. It only meant that the redhead would have to work twice as hard to penetrate it.
It was a while before Marissa left the spot where she had shared her first kiss with Bianca. Standing there almost felt like standing on sacred ground. She didn't want to leave, but there were things she had to do. She had to talk to JR. She had to let him know that he may as well stop trying to win her back because her heart belonged to someone else. He would be hurt, and she would be too. Her heart would hurt for AJ, whom she had told that he would have his mother and father together again. It would be difficult conversations with both JR and AJ. But they had to be done, and one [the one with JR] had to be done as soon as possible.
At the Chandler mansion the air was thick and the atmosphere was tense. Marissa had dropped her bomb on JR, and Bianca had walked in. Two birds, one stone, Marissa had thought. Marissa had professed her love for Bianca, JR's head had exploded, and then Bianca's phone had rung. It had a habit of doing that… ringing at inopportune moments. But then again, Bianca leaving before she could respond to Marissa's confessions may have just been the best thing that could have happened. It gave her time to reconsider her former decision of walking away. It seemed that she did because when she walked into Krystal's later that day, her smile had lit up the entire restaurant. It had been so long since Marissa had seen a smile like that from Bianca. With the divorce from Reese, the Ricky Torres drama, her mother, Erica, seemingly falling off the deep end, the brunette had her plate full, and she hadn't been smiling much… at least not like that. And the smile was for her. The smile was for Marissa.
But now, the young couple seemed to have reached an impasse. As friends, Marissa and Bianca had dined together every day, and called each other just to check in and give updates about how their day was going. Now that they were a couple, it was different, sure, but to Marissa the cliché the more things change the more they remain the same became a reality. They were having lunch together, as usual. The only difference was that Bianca was holding Marissa's hand from across the table, gently brushing her thumb back and forth against Marissa's knuckles. It would have been a comforting gesture; however, she was doing so absentmindedly, while simultaneously pushing the leaves of her garden salad around her plate. Something was obviously bothering her.
"Bianca," Marissa said, trying to get her attention. She didn't look up, or give any indication that she had even heard her name. So she tried again, "Bianca!"
The brunette's head snapped up as if Marissa had startled her. "Huh? What?"
"Where were you just now?"
Bianca averted her deep brown, expressive eyes for a moment, as if there was something in them that she didn't want her gorgeous redheaded girlfriend to see. "Um, nowhere. Sorry. I have… a meeting after I leave here. The Miranda Center had been under a lot of pressure lately, and I'm just a little on edge," she responded, squeezing Marissa's hand.
"Is there anything I can do?"
It was a habit that Marissa had picked up on. Whenever Bianca was preoccupied, she became somewhat closed off. Marissa had always tried to lighten those moods with jokes before. Making Bianca laugh was the key to distracting her and making her calm. However, now that there was a subtle difference in the nature of their relationship, on account of the fact that they were now beyond the friendship boundary, Marissa wasn't sure if providing the comic relief was the girlfriend thing to do.
Bianca smiled. "Just being here with you is enough."
"If that were true, then I'd have your attention, and I don't," Marissa said, "so tell me what I can do to make you feel better."
Bianca's brown eyes met Marissa's hazel ones, and held them. "There is something you can do."
"Name it."
"Come out on a date with me tonight," Bianca requested, her voice filled with hope.
Marissa swallowed, hard. "What?"
"A date. Me and you… no kids, no Krystal's… kiss at the end of the night…"
Marissa could feel the smile spreading across her face. It wasn't consciously done. It just happened. "Really? A date?"
There was a smile on Bianca's face too as she nodded. "Mhmm. A date."
"Of course. I would love to go on a date with you, Bianca."
And then there was that smile again. The one she had in Krystal's the day that Marissa had told her for the first time that she was in love with her. "Good." She glanced down at her watch momentarily, but then looked up into Marissa's eyes. "I have to go, now, but I'll pick you up later at eight… is that okay?"
"It's more than okay. What should I wear?"
"Something… sexy."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." She got up, leaned across the table and pressed her lips to Marissa's. Like all of Bianca's kisses, it was filled with promises of love. There was passion in it, and tenderness and an indescribable truth that defied words. It was brief, but it packed a pretty big punch. "I'll see you tonight." And then she was out the door.
Marissa didn't know what it was about Bianca. She was the most graceful, politically correct person she had ever met. But the way she had just said the word sexy… it was incredibly sexy in its own right. The way that she had just kissed her… it set her skin ablaze, gave her heart palpitations, and only made her want more and more. Bianca had been a million miles away before Marissa had called her out on it. As soon as she did, Bianca came back to her. Immediately. Marissa didn't know how she was going to handle the client consult she had later that afternoon with the incessant thoughts of Bianca's lips clouding her ability to conjure up rational thoughts.
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Butterflies swarmed around in Marissa's stomach as she waited for her girlfriend to arrive. It had been a while since she had first date jitters, but this… this was more. Her nerves threatened to overtake her. Bianca was about fifteen minutes late, and Marissa couldn't have been more thankful because it gave her a chance to get herself together. AJ was staying with his Grandma Krystal so she was stewing in a pot of her nerves on her own. A knock on her hotel room door made her jump.
Marissa smoothed her hair, then her tight red dress, then made her way to the door. She took a deep breath before opening it. Seeing Bianca standing there was like a breath of fresh air. She was wearing an apologetic smile on her face. "I'm sorry I'm late, Marissa," she said leaning forward and planting a kiss on Marissa's cheek.
"It's alright. You look great," Marissa replied, relieved that her voice did not betray her anxiety.
"Thank you. And you take instruction well. You look sexy… perfect."
Marissa felt Bianca's eyes inspect her from head to toe. There was a smile [of satisfaction] tugging at her lips.
"Thank you."
"Are you ready to go?"
"Yeah, just let me grab my purse, and then we can go."
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Being a Kane in Pine Valley [or anywhere in the world, for that matter] had its perks, but Marissa chose to believe that it wasn't Bianca's connections that had made this evening come together so beautifully on such short notice. Marissa chose to believe that Bianca had been planning this evening for quite some time, and it showed. Bianca had called it, An Evening Under the Stars. It was an actual event, planned and organized by Bianca Montgomery as a fundraiser for The Miranda Center. She had gotten artists and comedians to perform in the park, and although it wasn't jam packed, it was heavily populated. An obvious success. Marissa couldn't help but wonder how Bianca had put this all together without her knowledge. Marissa had been paying closer attention than usual to Bianca, and she hadn't had a clue that she was planning an event of this magnitude.
As they entered the park, hand in hand, Bianca led her away from the masses to a secluded area of the park.
"Where are we going?" Marissa asked. She could feel the excitement rising in her.
"I thought we'd have something to eat before we enjoy the festivities," Bianca replied, as they stepped past the velvet ropes that closed off an area of the park. Before Marissa could reply, she noticed the candle light dancing in the darkness. It illuminated, although not too brightly, a picnic blanket with a picnic basket sitting in the middle.
"Wow." It was all Marissa could manage.
"Shall we?"
"Yes, we shall."
And so their evening began. There were all kinds of fruits and cheeses, and there were sandwiches, and there was champagne and wine. Then there was tiramisu and chocolate cake for dessert. Bianca had covered all her bases. The date was essentially a picnic and concert in the park. But it wasn't just that. It was a picnic and a concert in the park Kane style and it was incredible.
"How did you do all of this without me knowing?" Marissa had to ask.
The light was dim, but Marissa could see Bianca smile under the candle light and the moon light. "I can keep a secret."
"And you felt the need to keep this secret because…?"
"Because the event was a cover for our date."
"I don't follow."
"I wanted to do something big for you without doing something big for you… understand? I know you're not a big fan of grand gestures so this is my compromise. It could have been just me, you and the performers, you know."
"Huh." Bianca continued to surprise and impress her, and trying to capture just how incredible the woman was, was impossible to do with words. But her humility and kindness was equally impossible to miss. And she had no idea that Bianca was this much of a romantic.
"What?"
"I just… I can't believe that I have you now. I can't believe that I've gotten so lucky as to have you in my life as my…"
"Girlfriend is a good word. Or partner. Or are we not there yet?" She had started out so sure, but then an inflection of uncertainty colored her tone.
"We're there. Of course we're there, Bianca. I can't believe that I've gotten so lucky as to have you in my life as my partner, my girlfriend, my everything."
Marissa leaned into Bianca, touching her lips to hers. She hadn't meant for it to be a long kiss, but Bianca had other ideas. Bianca kissed her bottom lip, then her top. Everything about the kiss was tantalizing and erotic. The way that Bianca was brushing her thumb against her cheek was tender, and as Marissa lifted her hands to Bianca's luscious, beautiful hair, she felt herself reach the ultimate state of contentment. The woman could kiss and as she did, Marissa felt it everywhere. It was like electricity instead of blood flowing through her veins. Kissing Bianca made her feel wired yet sated… kissing Bianca made her feel happy.
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By the end of the night, Marissa was convinced that Reese Williams had to be the densest, most foolish person to ever enter Bianca's life. She couldn't have been the sharpest tool in the shed because she was stupid enough to walk out of Bianca's life. Nevertheless, Marissa felt like she owed her the biggest thank you. If it wasn't for Reese divorcing Bianca, Marissa would have never been her attorney, they wouldn't have gotten so close, and Marissa wouldn't have had the pleasure of falling in love with Bianca. She thanked her lucky stars that Bianca had loved her back. Even though she never said the words, Marissa could tell just from the way she looked at her. She was thankful that even though the optimistic brunette had a divorce under her belt, her heart was still open. If it wasn't, Marissa wouldn't have had the best night of her life. She and Bianca had spent the evening laughing and dancing together, and it was perfect. Bianca couldn't keep her hands off Marissa, and Marissa found comfort in the fact that she couldn't resist touching Bianca either.
As Bianca walked Marissa back to her hotel room at the Yacht Club, Marissa felt anxious about the possibility of what could come next. The possibility of her making love with Bianca Montgomery hadn't really crossed her mind, until that moment, and she wasn't sure she was ready. She hadn't ever been with a woman, and she certainly wasn't an expert on lesbian relationships so she didn't know what the protocol was when the circumstances were this ideal [the women were already in love and they had just had the perfect date—never mind the fact that it was their first date because they had been friends for a long time]. Was sex to be expected at the end of the night?
As the two women approached Marissa's room, she got out her key card and began to play with it nervously.
"Is there something wrong?" Bianca asked her tentatively.
She should have known that Bianca would have picked up on her anxiety. Now that everything was out in the open, Marissa found that she could no longer hide anything she was feeling from Bianca.
"No, not at all," she tried to say casually. "Everything's great. I had a wonderful time with you tonight."
Bianca smiled. "I'm glad, but I can tell that something's bothering you."
"Do you want to come inside?"
"Sure."
Marissa allowed her eyes to inspect Bianca's face before turning to open the door. She detected concern and curiosity on her beautiful face, but Marissa also thought she picked up on a hint, a slight hint, of amusement in her girlfriend's eyes. But there couldn't have been, so it had to be something else.
Bianca closed the door behind her after they entered, and leaned back against it as Marissa crossed the room to the bed. "Tell me what's bothering you." It wasn't an order or a command, but rather an invitation.
"Nothing's bothering me," Marissa lied, as she removed her heels. "I mean…"
Bianca waited patiently for her to finish the sentence she had started, but Marissa wasn't quite sure where she was taking it.
"I mean… I don't know!"
Marissa's eyes pleaded with Bianca to help her out. She was one hundred percent in love with and committed to Bianca, but was it wrong that she wasn't ready to physically manifest that love and commitment in the form of sex?
"You're… uneasy about what might or might not happen tonight."
Yep! Bianca was definitely her mind reader.
Marissa sighed. "It's not that I don't want to. It's just that…"
"You're not ready."
"Yeah."
"Marissa, it's okay. I'm not ready either."
Marissa didn't know why, but this surprised her. "You're not?"
Bianca breathed deeply. "No. We've only just started to date and I don't want us to move faster than we need to. When we're ready, we'll both know it."
Marissa got up from the bed and crossed the room to close the gap between them. "You know that I love you, right?"
Bianca nodded. "I know."
"And one day, soon, we'll be ready, right?"
She smiled, and the amusement Marissa had seen in her eyes earlier [now, she was sure it was amusement] had returned. "Right."
"But for now," Marissa tipped up to kiss her girlfriend, "we get to just enjoy each other's company. Did I mention that I had a wonderful time with you tonight?"
Bianca laughed. "You did."
"So stay."
"I have to go home to my girls."
"You can't stay a little while longer?" Marissa asked seductively, moving her hands up and down from Bianca's waist to her hips.
"I had no idea you were this much of a temptress," Bianca responded, placing her hands over Marissa's.
But Marissa slipped her hands free and wrapped them around Bianca's waist and looked up into the eyes of her partner. "It seems we both have a lot to learn about each other."
"Mhmm… you make a convincing argument, Marissa…"
"But you have to go." Marissa tried hard to hide her disappointment, but she feared that she had failed miserably.
"I'm sorry, baby, but…"
"I know."
"But I'll see you tomorrow. Breakfast? I'll bring the girls, you can bring AJ."
"That sounds great."
Bianca leaned down and kissed Marissa. In it, Marissa could feel assurances that being apart was not what she really wanted either. By the way that Bianca was kissing her, she knew that she didn't really want to leave. However, Miranda and Gabby were her first priorities, and Marissa understood that because AJ was her first priority. But she couldn't help using her kisses to convince her to stay. Bianca just brought out something in her that she could neither name nor control. A part of it was her love, and a part of it was her fascination with the woman she was kissing. Bianca's kisses, just like her scent, were intoxicating. Marissa just couldn't get enough. She could kiss Bianca all night.
"See you in the morning," Bianca said after they had pulled apart. She planted one last kiss on Marissa forehead, and then she was out the door.
Marissa leaned against the door for support, unable to move because of her labored breathing and lightheadedness. Bianca could kiss her into submission, if she had any sadistic bones in her body. She didn't, but that was the power Bianca had over her. It may have looked to everyone else like she had fallen quickly for Bianca. But the truth was that she'd been falling for Bianca for months, she just didn't know it. She would have done anything for Bianca months ago, just like she would do anything for her today. The difference was that if someone would have asked her why months ago, her reason would have been their friendship; if someone asked her today, her reason was her love.
As she was about to head to her bed, a gentle knock on the door prompted her to turn around. She wasn't expecting anyone, especially not at this hour. She opened the door to see Bianca standing there.
"You came back."
She nodded. "To say that I love you, too."
Marissa smiled. It was the first time she had said it, and the words sounded marvelous coming from her lips. That truly was the perfect end to the perfect evening. "I know."
Bianca was smiling too. That smile. "Good. Good night, Marissa."
"Good night, Bianca."
Yup, surreal, Marissa thought as she closed the door. Surreal was the perfect word to describe her relationship with Bianca. Surreal in the good, can't wait to wake up the next morning and all the rest of the mornings for the rest of her life to know that she had this feeling to look forward to, sense of the word.
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