I have no clue why I wrote this. It's just a random thought I had that blossomed into a story (The thought was: What if an owner played Kacheek Seek with their neopet but never found them?)
Anyway, I don't own neopets or Hikida. He's just a random lupe I made up.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Hikida the lupe had been in the pound three times now, and each time he got a new owner they became crueler and uglier. He dreaded the stony gray walls, the metal bars that got ice cold in winter and white hot in summer. He had grown accustomed to the bland food, and the stale water, but it still nagged at him everytime he was brought to lunch.
He hadn't done anything wrong to deserve this, so why did each day have to seem like a year of endless torture? He was tired of the old "I don't have enough neopoints to take care of you." The truth was, they got old of him. He knew it, it had to be that! The fact alone could've been enough to drive him insane, save for the fact he had been through it three times.
Friends were hard to keep in the pound, they were always being adopted or.. he hated to think of the alternative, if nobody wanted them after a few days. For that reason, he had grown quiet, and preferred to stay away from the other neopets. If forced, he would fight in order to make sure he was avoided by the others.
The lupe remembered his first birthday, what was supposed to be a joyous, happy occasion, shared with all his brothers and sisters in the pack. His happiness, however, ended with the sad announcement and invasion..
(flashback)
"Hikida, don't be mad at me.."
"Why would I be mad, mommy? That was the best birthday a litter of lupes could have!" he was a cute, blue ball of fluff then, jumping up and down and smiling.
"Honey, they found out about us. Neopets can't wander about in the wild with no owner anymore." she said, smiling sadly down at me.
"What does that mean, mommy?" he asked, staring up at her with innocent blue eyes.
"We're going to.." her voice and eyes filled with pure sadness "the pound."
"Daddy always says the pound is a terrible place where bad neopets go! We're not bad, are we?" Hikida whimpered pitifully.
His mother turned her head, tears wetting her fur. "Baby, don't worry, we're all find good owners.."
"I don't want an owner!!" the pup yelled angrily. "I want to grow up and start my own pack!"
Her mother smiled briefly, before her eyes began shimmering with tears. "It's too late, they already have your father and the other males, including your brothers.."
"NO! TELL THEM TO LET GO OF DADDY!!" he screamed, jumping up. Suddenly they jumped as the sound of lupes howling and humans yelling startled them.
"Oh my god! Hikida, run!"
"But mommy! I want daddy.." his mother stood up and pushed him with her nose.
"Run Hikida! Don't sto.." she was cut off as a net ensnared her. She flailed wildly as Hikida backed up a few steps, his eyes wide with terror. He bolted for the huge city behind him, several humans right on his heels.
After an hour of running through city streets and strange back alleys, the humans finally gave up and walked off, muttering. A van came to pick them up, and in the back of the van he could barely see his mother, staring out at him. His sisters and brothers climbed up on her shoulders, while his father could be seen in the side windows pacing back and forth angrily. Both windows were covered with bars of some kind of gray substance, the same that kept him in the cell now.
His father stopped and stared at him, mouthing something to his son. He hadn't even needed his father to tell him, the thought was already on his mind.
'Kill all humans.'
So Hikida lived on the street as a vagabond, stealing what he could and doing drugs runs for neopoints. He never got to taste a chocolate chia, or even see the inside of a neohome during his childhood.
But he soon grew up, into a human-hating rabid lupe. That's how he was picked up into the pound in the first place, attacking a young human girl.
Then came the owners, with their nice personalities and loads of neopoints, which always changed once he was taken to their home.
(End flashback)
Now, the lab ray had changed his beautiful blue fur, which had been the pride of the pack, into a flat white. His hatred for humans had never faded though, so only the most naive, or cruel, owners even thought twice of adopting him.
He purposely snarled and foamed at the mouth as each owner was filed by him. However, he never knew when an owner who was looking for just that kind of neopet would walk past.
"Hikida," he was awoken out of his trance by the forever-happy Uni. She pointed a hoof over her shoulder, saying "this owner here would like to adopt you. Do you agree to this?"
"Yes, even though I don't actually get to say no." Hikida growled out, not looking at the Uni. She glanced at the owner, a very slim young girl, before opening the barred door. He jumped out and snorted at the girl as she paid the 80 neopoints for him.
"My life's worth 80 little coins, eh? I see how you perceive me." he said, then spit on her hoof. She huffed and lifted her hoof, almost about to kick him. The girl, however, gathered him in her arms and smiled, before walking out the door.
He growled at every human that they walked past and every neopet who accepted being a 'pet.' Which was pretty much everyone.
She finally got to her neohome, and Hikida widened his eyes for a moment. He had never seen such a huge house!
The inside was even more awe-inspiring to the lupe. He stared at the wealth of couches and rugs, all in a room made of pure gold.
There was more though, faerie food for every meal, the best battledome equipment available, almost everything was perfect. He even got a faerie Krawk for a petpet. Hikida let himself be drawn into the lifestyle of a rich neopet. He began to forget his old ways as a wild lupe, both in the fields of Neopia and the streets of Neopia Central.
It didn't matter his new owner was a scammer. As long as he could continue to live the way he did.
Everything changed though, one day. One that would ultimately ruin his very life.
"Let's play Kacheek Seek!" his owner had said, a rare but nice offer. Hikida, with his mouth full of Jelly, tried to smile and nodded.
Soon they came to their favorite place, the Pirate Ship. Hikida dashed off into the upper deck, chuckling.
He stayed there for almost two hours, before it began to get dark. He pricked up his ears and looked over the ship. As his eyes scanned over the crow's nest, he gasped and let his eyes grow wide. There stood his owner encased in ice.
Frozen! Hikida shook with tears as old waves of remorse and sadness, anger and hatred, washed over him.
He wasn't going to go through another fake life!! Another life with an 'owner' who didn't care. He couldn't, after such perfection! His eyes suddenly blazed with an emotion he had never felt before..
Insanity. Pure, unbridled insanity.
He jumped off the boat into the freezing waters below, purposely trying to drown himself. He screamed into the night as he kept floating back up. He bashed himself against the boat. Crying out loud, something he hadn't done since he was a small blue pup running away from his trapped mother.
Each scream became more strained, his mind completely gone. Soon enough though, hypothermia began to numb his senses, and he slowly sank beneath the beating waves, echoing in his ears like a huge drum.
By the time the sun rose the next morning, Hikida the white lupe had frozen to death. Frozen like his perfect owner, who finally drove him over the edge.
Even a diamond will crack under constant pressure, until it splits in half to even the lightest of presses.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I'm just practicing on my characterization and stuff for my other neopets fanfic I'm going to start, which has actual neopets and real owners, so I can't go making then all a bunch of zombified names with the same personality and a tendency to act too concerned for little things and not concerned enough for big things.
That was a problem I had majorly with the later chapters in my old fanfic, "A Different Neohome," now that I read over the ones I was planning to post. All the characters became ignorant and uncaring when Merridel and Darigan went to war, yet when Elazul's toothbrush is missing the whole cast gets in an uproar. The way I wrote it also, it wasn't even funny, just showed how bad of a writer I was at that time. The whole story was also written in present tense as well, which I thought was cool at the time but now I realize the errors of my ways.. erk! I have a million other complaints about that story but I'll spare you readers. (Who actually reads these things besides me anyway?)
ANYWAY, what I'm mostly looking for is reviews that tell me how well I portrayed Hikida and if the suicide is a bit of an over-dramatization, given Hikida's past and the circumstances of him actually killing himself.
Flames are very welcome, as I'll just send them to one of those groups of fanfic writers who make fun of flamers and their messages. I like those.
On a totally different note, what would you do if you saw a chinese-egyptian Meerca with an afro walking down a street paved with porno mags holding a magical velvet poogle toy in his tail in Tokyo, Japan asking random people "Would you like a bluish-yellow fluffy thing?" in Russian?
Hoped you enjoyed "Even a Diamond." I enjoyed writing it! (I think..)
Anyway, I don't own neopets or Hikida. He's just a random lupe I made up.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Hikida the lupe had been in the pound three times now, and each time he got a new owner they became crueler and uglier. He dreaded the stony gray walls, the metal bars that got ice cold in winter and white hot in summer. He had grown accustomed to the bland food, and the stale water, but it still nagged at him everytime he was brought to lunch.
He hadn't done anything wrong to deserve this, so why did each day have to seem like a year of endless torture? He was tired of the old "I don't have enough neopoints to take care of you." The truth was, they got old of him. He knew it, it had to be that! The fact alone could've been enough to drive him insane, save for the fact he had been through it three times.
Friends were hard to keep in the pound, they were always being adopted or.. he hated to think of the alternative, if nobody wanted them after a few days. For that reason, he had grown quiet, and preferred to stay away from the other neopets. If forced, he would fight in order to make sure he was avoided by the others.
The lupe remembered his first birthday, what was supposed to be a joyous, happy occasion, shared with all his brothers and sisters in the pack. His happiness, however, ended with the sad announcement and invasion..
(flashback)
"Hikida, don't be mad at me.."
"Why would I be mad, mommy? That was the best birthday a litter of lupes could have!" he was a cute, blue ball of fluff then, jumping up and down and smiling.
"Honey, they found out about us. Neopets can't wander about in the wild with no owner anymore." she said, smiling sadly down at me.
"What does that mean, mommy?" he asked, staring up at her with innocent blue eyes.
"We're going to.." her voice and eyes filled with pure sadness "the pound."
"Daddy always says the pound is a terrible place where bad neopets go! We're not bad, are we?" Hikida whimpered pitifully.
His mother turned her head, tears wetting her fur. "Baby, don't worry, we're all find good owners.."
"I don't want an owner!!" the pup yelled angrily. "I want to grow up and start my own pack!"
Her mother smiled briefly, before her eyes began shimmering with tears. "It's too late, they already have your father and the other males, including your brothers.."
"NO! TELL THEM TO LET GO OF DADDY!!" he screamed, jumping up. Suddenly they jumped as the sound of lupes howling and humans yelling startled them.
"Oh my god! Hikida, run!"
"But mommy! I want daddy.." his mother stood up and pushed him with her nose.
"Run Hikida! Don't sto.." she was cut off as a net ensnared her. She flailed wildly as Hikida backed up a few steps, his eyes wide with terror. He bolted for the huge city behind him, several humans right on his heels.
After an hour of running through city streets and strange back alleys, the humans finally gave up and walked off, muttering. A van came to pick them up, and in the back of the van he could barely see his mother, staring out at him. His sisters and brothers climbed up on her shoulders, while his father could be seen in the side windows pacing back and forth angrily. Both windows were covered with bars of some kind of gray substance, the same that kept him in the cell now.
His father stopped and stared at him, mouthing something to his son. He hadn't even needed his father to tell him, the thought was already on his mind.
'Kill all humans.'
So Hikida lived on the street as a vagabond, stealing what he could and doing drugs runs for neopoints. He never got to taste a chocolate chia, or even see the inside of a neohome during his childhood.
But he soon grew up, into a human-hating rabid lupe. That's how he was picked up into the pound in the first place, attacking a young human girl.
Then came the owners, with their nice personalities and loads of neopoints, which always changed once he was taken to their home.
(End flashback)
Now, the lab ray had changed his beautiful blue fur, which had been the pride of the pack, into a flat white. His hatred for humans had never faded though, so only the most naive, or cruel, owners even thought twice of adopting him.
He purposely snarled and foamed at the mouth as each owner was filed by him. However, he never knew when an owner who was looking for just that kind of neopet would walk past.
"Hikida," he was awoken out of his trance by the forever-happy Uni. She pointed a hoof over her shoulder, saying "this owner here would like to adopt you. Do you agree to this?"
"Yes, even though I don't actually get to say no." Hikida growled out, not looking at the Uni. She glanced at the owner, a very slim young girl, before opening the barred door. He jumped out and snorted at the girl as she paid the 80 neopoints for him.
"My life's worth 80 little coins, eh? I see how you perceive me." he said, then spit on her hoof. She huffed and lifted her hoof, almost about to kick him. The girl, however, gathered him in her arms and smiled, before walking out the door.
He growled at every human that they walked past and every neopet who accepted being a 'pet.' Which was pretty much everyone.
She finally got to her neohome, and Hikida widened his eyes for a moment. He had never seen such a huge house!
The inside was even more awe-inspiring to the lupe. He stared at the wealth of couches and rugs, all in a room made of pure gold.
There was more though, faerie food for every meal, the best battledome equipment available, almost everything was perfect. He even got a faerie Krawk for a petpet. Hikida let himself be drawn into the lifestyle of a rich neopet. He began to forget his old ways as a wild lupe, both in the fields of Neopia and the streets of Neopia Central.
It didn't matter his new owner was a scammer. As long as he could continue to live the way he did.
Everything changed though, one day. One that would ultimately ruin his very life.
"Let's play Kacheek Seek!" his owner had said, a rare but nice offer. Hikida, with his mouth full of Jelly, tried to smile and nodded.
Soon they came to their favorite place, the Pirate Ship. Hikida dashed off into the upper deck, chuckling.
He stayed there for almost two hours, before it began to get dark. He pricked up his ears and looked over the ship. As his eyes scanned over the crow's nest, he gasped and let his eyes grow wide. There stood his owner encased in ice.
Frozen! Hikida shook with tears as old waves of remorse and sadness, anger and hatred, washed over him.
He wasn't going to go through another fake life!! Another life with an 'owner' who didn't care. He couldn't, after such perfection! His eyes suddenly blazed with an emotion he had never felt before..
Insanity. Pure, unbridled insanity.
He jumped off the boat into the freezing waters below, purposely trying to drown himself. He screamed into the night as he kept floating back up. He bashed himself against the boat. Crying out loud, something he hadn't done since he was a small blue pup running away from his trapped mother.
Each scream became more strained, his mind completely gone. Soon enough though, hypothermia began to numb his senses, and he slowly sank beneath the beating waves, echoing in his ears like a huge drum.
By the time the sun rose the next morning, Hikida the white lupe had frozen to death. Frozen like his perfect owner, who finally drove him over the edge.
Even a diamond will crack under constant pressure, until it splits in half to even the lightest of presses.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I'm just practicing on my characterization and stuff for my other neopets fanfic I'm going to start, which has actual neopets and real owners, so I can't go making then all a bunch of zombified names with the same personality and a tendency to act too concerned for little things and not concerned enough for big things.
That was a problem I had majorly with the later chapters in my old fanfic, "A Different Neohome," now that I read over the ones I was planning to post. All the characters became ignorant and uncaring when Merridel and Darigan went to war, yet when Elazul's toothbrush is missing the whole cast gets in an uproar. The way I wrote it also, it wasn't even funny, just showed how bad of a writer I was at that time. The whole story was also written in present tense as well, which I thought was cool at the time but now I realize the errors of my ways.. erk! I have a million other complaints about that story but I'll spare you readers. (Who actually reads these things besides me anyway?)
ANYWAY, what I'm mostly looking for is reviews that tell me how well I portrayed Hikida and if the suicide is a bit of an over-dramatization, given Hikida's past and the circumstances of him actually killing himself.
Flames are very welcome, as I'll just send them to one of those groups of fanfic writers who make fun of flamers and their messages. I like those.
On a totally different note, what would you do if you saw a chinese-egyptian Meerca with an afro walking down a street paved with porno mags holding a magical velvet poogle toy in his tail in Tokyo, Japan asking random people "Would you like a bluish-yellow fluffy thing?" in Russian?
Hoped you enjoyed "Even a Diamond." I enjoyed writing it! (I think..)
