Author's Note: So basically, real life sucks and has taken all my time away from writing. Bleh. On the other hand this weekend is my second Fic-Writing Anniversary, and fortunately I have found time to do at least some recently, so to celebrate, here's a fresh new oneshot. Enjoy!


Mature Content

By CidGregor

Rated T


"I am officially the biggest loser on the planet."

Beast Boy slammed the door of the kitchen cabinet closed in anger, which changed to embarrassment at the speed of light and led him to slam his forehead against the same door. Repeatedly.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, you are so stupid!"

"Not that I disagree with you," came Cyborg's amused voice, "but could you maybe not bust the cabinet with your thick head?"

Beast Boy turned around and threw a glare at his friend, who had just strolled in to the otherwise empty living room of Titan's Tower. "Who asked you…"

"What's got you up this late?" Cyborg said, his words punctuated by a yawn.

"I'm beating my head against solid wood, what's it look like…" Beast Boy threw back.

"Well by all means, continue," Cyborg snickered. "Maybe the resulting brain damage'll make it even easier for me to kick your butt on the gamestation."

"Not in the mood, Cy," Beast Boy muttered, and abandoned the kitchen cupboard in favor of flopping limply onto the couch.

"Whu-oh," Cyborg said. "BB not in the mood for jokes? This must be serious."

Beast Boy grumbled into the cushion.

"Hey, c'mon, I know what'll cheer you up," Cyborg insisted, striding to the television and flinging open the doors of their DVD library. "Midnight Movie Madness!"

"Cy…"

"Ooo, here we go…Starship Troopers!" Cyborg announced, producing said film from the shelves and pointing at the girl on the cover. "Look, BB…Denise Richards!"

But Beast Boy only gave him a muffled groan. "Pleeeeease don't mention Denise Richards right now…"

Cyborg looked baffled. "But she's your favorite actress!"

Before Beast Boy could reply to that, the main doors slid open again, and a blonde-haired girl of similar build to Beast Boy stepped inside holding a small bag. "Hey, Cyborg," she murmured distractedly.

Beast Boy's head shot up from behind the couch at the sound of the girl's voice. "…Terra?"

Terra froze in place. She stared long and hard at Beast Boy, who stared right back, an awkward silence between them. Then, as Terra glanced at Cyborg, and the movie in his hands, she flushed, spun around and retreated right back out of the room.

Cyborg scratched his head. "Uhh...what just happened?"

Beast Boy only heaved a depressed sigh and flopped back down on the couch, knocking his head against the stiff armrest.

Cyborg glanced around at the room, as though making sure it was empty, then awkwardly cleared his throat. "You, ah…want to talk about it?"

"Not really," came the muffled reply.

Cyborg looked slightly relieved by that. "Alright, then…I, ah…guess I'll go back to bed."

He turned around and got about halfway to the door before…

"I completely blew it with Terra today."

Cyborg stopped in his tracks and cleared his throat again as he turned back around and sat down beside his friend. "Alright, what happened?"

Beast Boy fidgeted awkwardly. "It's kinda…well…not stuff you just talk about normally, y'know?"

Cyborg thought about that for a moment before replying, "You don't have to say anything if you don't want to."

"I dunno who else to talk to," Beast Boy grumbled. "Raven'd laugh at me, Robin doesn't know jack about girls, and Starfire is a girl. Plus her and Terra are like this," he added, intertwining his fingers. "I already saw them chattering together earlier today…probably laughing at me…"

Cyborg couldn't help but chuckle. "Alright, Guy Talk it is."

"……The other day, me and Terra……we were……doin' stuff…y'know?"

Cyborg looked more awkward than ever, but he toughed it out. "Boyfriend-girlfriend stuff…?"

"Yeah…" Beast Boy nodded at first, then quickly changed his mind. "I mean no! Not…THAT. Just, like…kissing and stuff, and…a little bit of other stuff--"

Cyborg held up a hand. "More than enough details. Moving on."

"Right," Beast Boy quickly agreed. "So…we're, like…on my bed, right? And we kick this pile of clothes out of our way…except something falls out of it. And we look at it, and…"

Cyborg didn't like where this was going. "…And…?"

"…It was this…" Beast Boy flushed horribly.

"…What?"

"……magazine."

Cyborg took about three seconds to process that before wincing. "DAH, Beast Boy!"

"I know, I know!" he moaned miserably. "I totally forgot it was even there, I haven't even touched that kind of stuff in months!"

Cyborg shuddered. "Talk about a mood-killer…"

"You're tellin' me…she took one look at the picture where it fell open and she practically flipped out."

"I wouldn't blame her. Pictures of some random naked girl lying around in your bed…"

"It wasn't that bad!" Beast Boy countered defensively. "She wasn't even naked!"

"She wasn't?"

"…Well…not on that page…"

Cyborg groaned. "And lemme guess. It was Denise Richards."

Beast Boy nodded sheepishly and sighed. "Six months of an amazing relationship and I blow it in six seconds…"

"Well what the hell are you sitting here talking to me for?.!" Cyborg suddenly demanded.

Beast Boy looked up. "Huh?"

"Get your scrawny butt over to her room and apologize like there's no tomorrow!"

Beast Boy's eyes bulged. "Are you crazy?.! I can't go back there!"

"You can and you will. It's been stewing for a good twenty-four hours already. That's long enough. You let it go any longer and it'll just make things worse."

"But I'll look like a total idiot on top of a pervert!"

"Tough. You have to bite the bullet and take it, or it's gonna get way worse. And most importantly, get rid of that magazine ASAP!"

"Don't have to worry about that. Terra took it when she stormed out…"

Cyborg frowned. "She took it?"

Beast Boy nodded. "Yeah, why?"

Cyborg looked off into the distance for a moment. "…nah, it couldn't be…"

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing," Cyborg quickly insisted. "Look, you wanted my advice, right? Here it is: just go over there, suck it up, and apologize."

"But it's practically the middle of the night--"

"No, no buts. Just DO it."

"What if she's still mad? Or worse, what if she laughs at me?.!"

"I have a feeling she won't."

"How do you know?"

"…let's just call it a hunch…"


"…And that's pretty much it. I got mad at him, called him a pervert…and then I grabbed the magazine and got out of there."

Starfire listened with rapt attention as she sipped from a bottle of mustard. "Why did you do that?"

"What, take the thing?" Terra shrugged and clutched a small bag to her chest. "I dunno…I guess I wanted to see what was so interesting."

"And what did you find?"

Terra clutched her bag tighter. "Nothing, really…"

"Did you dispose of it, then?"

"…well, no…"

"May I see it?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Because!"

"You said yourself it holds nothing of interest for you."

"…Okay, so I lied! But it's embarrassing!"

Starfire smiled knowingly. "Terra, I am the last person who is going to laugh at you, or judge you. I am here to help you. All I ever ask is that you are honest with me."

Terra hesitated, then took a long breath and reached across her bed to pull the item in question from the drawer of her bedside table. "Okay, just…keep it down. Cyborg almost saw it once earlier today and he was looking at me weird ever since."

Starfire took one look at the magazine, and her eyes lit up. "Oh! I have seen this magazine before!"

Terra looked shocked. "You have?"

"This is the magazine possessing the likeness of his favorite actress in your earth movies!"

Terra stared blankly. "How could you possibly know that?"

"I had discovered it once before, many months ago. Before you and he began courting one another." She began flipping through the pages rapidly. "There was one photograph in particular that he found especially attractive…"

Terra suddenly went red. "Um…it's not the one on the page with the folded corner, is it…?"

Starfire flipped to it, and brightened. "Why yes, this is--…"

Terra blushed hard as Starfire blinked up at her, staring back and forth between Terra, the bag in her arms, and the picture on the magazine.

"Terra, she is wearing--"

"Yep."

"…And you are trying to--?"

"Uh-huh."

"And that is why you--?"

"Exactly."

Starfire couldn't help but giggle. "How exciting."

"Yeah, right," Terra grumbled. "I could never pull it off."

"But you seemed so confident at the mall of shopping!"

"I have no idea what I'd say! Or even if he'd like me like that!"

Starfire shook her head. "Terra, he is entirely smitten with you. Of course he will find you attractive, far more so than these models. The secret of Victoria ensures it!"

"Yeah, well….I still wouldn't know what to say…"

Starfire smiled an excited smile. "Do not worry, Terra. I have an idea…"


For the fourth time, Beast Boy raised his fist to Terra's door.

And for the fourth time, his fist shook before it so much as touched her door and he drew back with a sigh.

"I can't do this…" he muttered. "Cyborg doesn't know what he's talking about…"

He started walking away from the door, and got about three steps before stopping again and grimacing.

"What if he's right…? What if she just gets madder 'cause I didn't apologize yet…?"

A chain of thoughts followed that realization that ended with her breaking up with him and hating him forever. That was not a desirable outcome, he quickly decided.

He turned back around to the door. "Well….fifth time's the charm…" He raised his fist one more time, and at last knocked.

There was a sharp gasp from within, then a sudden rustling. "Just a second, just a second!" she called out.

Beast Boy stood still and waited with shaking nerves. "You can do this, BB…you can do this…" he told himself.

A handful of tense moments later the lock clicked and the door slid open. Terra stood in the doorway in a plain white bathrobe, her hair half-obscuring her eyes as they shot open wide in surprise. "B-Beast Boy! W-what are you d-doing here?"

Beast Boy felt about as nervous as she looked. He cleared his throat. "I, ah…just walked to talk. About the other day…" he coughed again. "Do you mind if I come in?"

Terra seemed to battle with the question in her head, clutching the robe tighter around herself. And when an answer didn't come for a handful of awkward seconds, Beast Boy deflated a little and turned around.

"Right, sorry," he murmured. "You're probably just getting ready for a shower or something, I'll talk to you another time…"

"N-no, it…I mean…yeah, come on in," she stopped him, stepping back from the doorway.

Beast Boy accepted, walking slowly inside and letting her close the door behind him. "Listen, Terra, I'm really really really sorry about the magazine thing, it was a total fluke, I didn't even know it was still there, honest, I completely forgot about it, you have to believe me!"

Terra looked back at him in surprise, not expecting it at all. But the inevitable fight bubbled forth in her head, and before she knew it she was answering back.

"What did you even have it for at all? Those things are gross, only perverts buy them!"

Beast Boy winced, annoyed. "I'm not a pervert! Y'know, some people really DO read those things for the articles!"

Terra snorted a little. "The only things you ever 'read' are video game manuals and comic books."

"It's true!"

"And the naked women all over the place are just a bonus, huh?"

"Hey, it's not like I just sit there all day ogling the thing!"

"Yeah, sure."

"I'm serious! I told you, it's been there for months already, I'm not even interested in that kind of stuff anymore!"

"Why'd you even have it in the first place?!"

"What, I'm not allowed to think Denise Richards is sexy?!"

Terra pulled the magazine out abruptly from under her pillow and slapped it open on the desk in front of him. "You think that's sexy, huh?"

Beast Boy glanced at it helplessly. The model in question was there on the page, dressed in lacy black and almost-see-through underwear, kneeling on top of a bed with a fluffy white bathrobe hanging open, halfway off her shoulders. It was quite probably his favorite picture in the magazine, and she wasn't even showing anything.

"Well?" Terra pressed from behind him, near the bed.

"Of course it's sexy!" Beast Boy shot back, not even looking at her anymore. "How is it NOT sexy?"

"…Well jeez, Beast Boy, what do you need a magazine for that, then?"

"What's that supposed to mean…?" he muttered, eyes on the floor.

"If all you wanted was to see women acting sexy…"

Beast Boy braced himself for the worst.

"…you should've told me…"

The suddenly luscious and alluring change in her voice alone made Beast Boy's head shoot up and his eyes go wide. Then the words themselves registered, and as he whirled around to face her again, he felt his jaw quite literally drop.

Terra had crawled on her knees onto her bed and untied the cord of her bathrobe, letting in fall open just enough to show off the majority of her thin frame from her head to her hips. The top of the robe hung a little bit off her shoulders, like it was itching to just slide the rest of the way off. A little lower down her front, a black, slightly transparent bra supported her breasts, and Beast Boy wasn't sure if it was the bra or that she'd developed a little on her own, but there certainly seemed to be more to her chest than usual. Lower still, his eyes roamed her bare stomach and down the gentle curve of her hips, where matching black panties hugged her waist, showing just enough skin to speed Beast Boy's heart rate without compromising her modesty. And obvious though it was, it took Beast Boy a few moments of staring to realize his girlfriend was posed in a near-perfect imitation of the photo in the magazine. She didn't quite have Denise Richard's chest or her tan, and the hair was different…but it was nevertheless an uncanny likeness. He almost wasn't sure which he liked better.

Then he realized this was Terra…sweet lord, Terra…and it was a no-brainer which would hold his undivided attention.

"Duuude……" he murmured, awestruck.

By now Terra was blushing a little, but she smiled anyway. "Is that a good 'dude' or a bad one…?"

"Terra, you….you never…"

"Yes?" she pressed.

"You never looked so……hot…"

Terra's blush grew, in a good way, as she glanced at herself. "It was kinda partly Starfire's idea…you…really like it?"

"How could anyone NOT like it…?" he said back.

Terra seemed pleased by that, and a moment later she was beckoning him forward and patting the space on the bed next to her. Beast Boy hurried to obey, scrambling to the bed and sitting beside her. "Um…this, ah…this isn't…?"

Terra shook her head with an embarrassed smile. "No, we're not doing…that. I just…wanted to try being…"

"Sexy?"

"Yeah."

"Terra?"

"Hm?"

"You totally nailed it."

And as if to prove his point he hooked his arms around the soft skin of her stomach and drew her into an affectionate embrace from behind, gently pulling her downward to lie stretched out on the bed with him.

"You can have the magazine back, if you want…" Terra probed, as though to test him one last time.

"Toss it in the fire for all I care," came his immediate reply, and she could feel him grinning his impish grin as he kissed her cheek. "You in your underwear beats Denise Richards any day."

Terra smiled back, and leaned into his warmth, letting him kiss and cuddle her until they both fell into a most comfortable sleep.


THE END