Chapter 1\\Forgive and Forget
{let's start over}
Heather. Lindsay. Heather and Lindsay.
Alliances. Friendships. Betrayal.
Love. Hate. Broken hearts.
Give it another chance. I'm sure we can make it work. I'm sure we can make it better.
Maybe I'm just dreaming.
Let's rewrite this story and make it ours.
{she's so cold}
Lately, Heather hadn't been able to get the girl off her mind. It made no sense, considering that girl shouldn't have even meant anything to her. Not when they met, not when they became 'friends,' not when Heather betrayed her.
In reality, though, Lindsay meant everything to Heather.
It was a mistake to let herself fall for her. Her defenses slipped for an instant, her true feelings coming out for the first time in years.
It was too late to go back and fix things.
Thinking about Lindsay again made Heather want to bang her head into the nearest wall until she forgot everything. She couldn't do that, though. She knew it wouldn't work.
Remembering wasn't an option.
Neither was forgetting.
…But what about erasing it?
Heather hadn't considered pretending the bad things never happened. Odd, considering she used to do it all the time. It was the only way she could possibly live with herself.
Suddenly, a very thrilling thought occurred to her. Heather could change her name, her clothes, her personality. She could pretend she didn't exist.
She could lie. She was an excellent liar.
And maybe one day, after telling the lie for so long, it would come true.
{she's a lie, she's a filthy little lie}
There was a problem with this brilliant plan.
Heather loved herself. At least, she loved herself enough to stay the way she was. Did that really mean she would have to live with it?
Maybe. After all, you can't truly love yourself if you don't accept the way you are.
Heather decided to settle for pretending the past never existed. It was not the same as putting it behind her, or 'living in the present' as some might say. Rather, she was running away from the truth, from the horrible person she was.
She was running away from herself.
{running away from the pain, chaos she created}
A few days later, Heather found herself at Rugs From Me To You. It was a secondhand wig shop that usually only stocked really crappy wigs. However, Heather had found a lovely black one. Nowhere near as long as her old hair – it only went down a little past her breasts. But it was good enough.
Heather hadn't thought about reinventing herself for the past few days, but the idea came back to her when she came across a wonderful orange-red wig. A bit odd when paired with her Asian features, but she still thought it looked great. She knew she could pull it off. After all, she's Heather. She can make dressing like a slut seem beautiful.
She bought both wigs without hesitation.
She could never figure out why she'd bought the red wig. She'd already decided that she didn't want to hide. She'd already decided she was going to stick with black hair. She didn't need more than one wig anyway.
But whatever. It's just a wig.
{it's more than that, it's you}
While digging through her suitcase, finally unpacking after the fiasco that was Total Drama Island, she found a little slip of paper. Written on this paper was Lindsay's phone number.
"Call me sometime, 'kay?" Lindsay asked, giving Heather a slip of paper. "I don't ever want to forget you."
Heather smiled, her first real smile in years.
"I won't forget you if you don't forget me."
They giggled and wrapped each other's pinkies together.
"Pinky swear."
Heather shook her head, trying to get rid of the memory. There was no point remembering it now.
"Wait a second…" Heather realized something.
What if Lindsay had forgotten about her?
Unlikely, sure. But possible. Very, very possible.
It was too soon, though. Much too soon. After all, they'd only escaped Wawanakwa a month ago.
Heather could wait. She didn't want to, of course.
But what choice did she have?
{dream a dream that will never come true}
{that's okay, dreams are better than reality}
R e m e m b e r i n g was not an option.
Neither was f o r g e t t i n g.
But what about e r a s i n g it?
{heather was never real anyway}
