Betrayal: The other side
The other side of LadyPhoenix's tale BEGGED to be told. .so here it is.
I know I hurt you Aibou.. .believe me, I know how badly...even worse than the physical wounds you inflicted upon my own flesh were the wounds I inflicted on your soul. I've lied to you about so many things, and I know each and every lie hurt you so very badly.
I don't understand what drove me that night, I truly don't. I was stupid. So stupid. I should have turned the light on, locked my door so you wouldn't come in. More though. . .more I should never have brought that man home in the first place. I was cold, lonely, missing human contact, but still, it's no excuse. There IS no excuse for what I've done to you.
What happened to us, Rude? How did we grow so far apart? When did the distance happen? If I had had the answers to those questions before maybe I could have prevented this. I know, it's not very likely, and"what ifs" don't do us any good now. So, as I lay here among the broken pieces of what once was US, I feel so lost and mightily confused because I can't find the one thing, the one time, that led me to doing the thing which shattered US.
So you sit next to me, asking me questions I have no answer to. Asking me why, asking me exactly what I've been asking myself, but I don't have the answers. I may NEVER have the answers, and it makes me feel guiltier than I can ever tell you. It's why I don't ask for your forgiveness for the event which led to this. I betrayed you in the most vile way, I don't DESERVE it. The physical betrayal I think did not hurt you as much as the words spoken while I spread myself for someone I never should have. I cannot apologize enough for it, but those apologies are and I am sure always will fall upon deaf ears, and rightfully so.
I need to tell you one thing though. . .you called me a liar. ..yes, I lied to you about many things. But when I said I love you, that wasn't a lie..
