Voldie, you're GAY!?

A JAHM Productions Story.

It shall be noted that JAHM Productions does not wish to insult, hurt, or otherwise offend anyone or anything in this particular episode of The Voldie Chronicles. Sometimes, it just happens.

We at JAHM Productions have made a startling discovery; Voldemort is GAY. And we have PROOF.

-Have you ever noticed that good ole' Voldie is always after Harry in every book, but never manages to actually kill him.

-He tried to kill off Harry's friends, simply so he could have young Mr. Potter all to himself.

-He kept a DIARY, for goodness sake.

-He also killed Harry's parents because they NEVER would have approved.

-His wand had a 'special' connection with Harry's.

-He OBVIOUSLY had a nose job, and he was SO desperate to be with Harry that he planted the port key at the Tri-Wizard tournament so he could whisk Harry away to where they could finally be alone.

-Let's not forget that he practically wore a DRESS.

-Voldemort's only real competition was Dumbledore, whom he had "taken care of".

-Three of his horcruxes were a ring, a necklace and a diary.

-He also made Harry into a horcrux, because he obviously couldn't stand the thought of being away from him.

-Really, have you SEEN how he holds his wand!?

We hope you take all this into extreme consideration.

A/N: The actor who plays Albus Dumbledore in the majority of the Harry Potter films is, according to our sources, gay.

JAHM PRODUCTIONS, because we (don't) care.