Author's Note: I wrote this a long while ago and read it just a few minutes ago. This is going to be the first story of my Call Of Nature series. Each story will be showing how the team deal with answering the call of nature in places that are pretty darned precarious. This is also the shortest story I have EVER written. I just thought it was perfect as is. Enjoy.
Call Of Nature (AKA Where Do You Go When There Are No Loos?)
Nalbina
It was the beginning of a long journey. Vaan was excited, for beyond the sands of Dalmasca, he hadn't really explored Ivalice. At all.
Yet Vaan had no clue what it was going to be like.
To him, this adventure started after freeing Basch Fon Ronsenberg from Nalbina prison. He hadn't wanted to, he was angry and furious beyond contempt that his brother's killer was still alive, but after Basch explained things, his anger softened somewhat. He tolerated the thin wreck of a man travelling with them, he was useful in a fight but Basch's physical condition was simply atrocious and he didn't exactly smell great either.
"Don't you wash?" asked Vaan sneering at Fran as she lent the man the last of her rations. Stuffing his mouth full of Viera food, Basch didn't respond at first until Vaan repeated the question.
"Wash?" Basch's breaking gravely voice croaked. "I was in a prison cell for two years. I was given the minimal of washes, Vaan. They did not treat me well."
"Yeah…but…surely the smell….they could have done something about the smell?" Vaan scrunched up his nose and saw that Balthier was also holding his handkerchief over his own.
Basch finished off the last of his food and then stood up.
"I wish they did do something about it." he said, sadly. "I wish they had given me a bucket in my cell…but alas. I was not even given that luxury."
"A bucket? You mean…you had no toilet facilities?" gasped Vaan. Balthier tutted and shook his head in disbelief before muttering about his desire to carry on back to Rabanastre. "But…Basch! Where did you….where did you go?"
Basch thanked Fran as she gave him some water, he drank heartily and then began to follow after the two sky pirates.
"On the floor…the wall. Anywhere, anywhen I needed to."
"Oh man…that's disgusting." Vaan felt sick. He felt sorry for Basch. That was no way for a person to be kept. "But when we get back to Rabanstre…."
"When get back to the city," Basch sighed in heavenly anticipation. "I shall have a shower, a bath…I shall eat and drink plenty and make use of the finest Dalmascan toilet facilities ever in existence."
"I just know the regular kind." said Vaan, scratching the back of his head and following after Basch.
"So do I. It is those that will be heavenly bliss to my eyes and to my rear."
"Yeah…no kidding huh?"
