A Party for Hades

Chapter One: A Long-Dreaded Party

Hades commands the citizens of the Underworld to throw him his yearly surprise party.

Author's Note: I adore Hades! Without further ado, here is a comedy about what life must be like for his subjects in the Underworld. Please enjoy and review!

Characters:

Hades

Cora Mills

Peter Pan

Cruella de Vil

Prince James

Henry Mills I

The Blind Witch

Liam Jones

Hercules

Milah

Blacktooth


Cora Mills sat at her desk in the Underworld Town Hall. She was reading over a print-out of the new souls who would be joining their number that day, when her assistant, Blacktooth, buzzed her on her intercom.

"Lord Hades to see you, Your Majesty," he said.

Cora groaned and rubbed her temples. "I guess it has been a year," she muttered to herself. "Send him in," she replied.

Hades strode confidently into Cora's office, flanked by his two mute bodyguards.

"Hello, Cora," the Lord of the Underworld grinned wickedly.

"Lord Hades," Cora tried to smile. "This is a pleasant surprise." It was neither pleasant nor a surprise. "How can I be of service?" She already knew exactly what he wanted.

Hades smiled with an air of false affability. "Well, Cora, it just so happens that tomorrow is-"

"Your birthday."

Hades smiled more widely. "Yes! You remembered! How thoughtful! It's a bit embarrassing for me to ask-"

"I'd love to throw you a surprise party, sir," Cora stated flatly.

"Oh, you're so kind!" Hades smirked. "Same cake as last year, but with less candles. I want to taste the icing, not eat wax. In fact, I think, instead of a candle for every year, you should just have one candle in the center. Invite everyone, but seat only the important ones at my table. And guests may choose to omit gifts, but anyone who does will be served alive to Cerberus. Are we clear?"

"Yes, sir," Cora gave a slight, respectful bow.

"Great! See you tomorrow at 6:66 PM! Don't worry! I'll act surprised."

Cora waited until she was certain that Hades had left the building.

"Blacktooth!" she said over the intercom. "Assemble the team. It's a Code Philostrate."


Fifteen minutes later, Cora's office was filled with an unusual group of the deceased.

Peter Pan, dressed in a suit not unlike Hades', sat on an armchair next to Cora's husband Henry, with whom he was deep in discussion. Liam Jones and Milah stood silently near the fireplace. Hercules looked very uncomfortable sitting on a couch next to the Blind Witch, who kept recommending different desserts to "put some meat on his bones." Finally, Cruella de Vil laid face down on a chaise lounge while Prince James massaged her angular shoulder-blades.

"Alright, everyone, most of you know the drill by now," Cora began bemusedly. "Cruella, you're new here, so I should explain what happens. Every year, Hades orders us to throw him a surprise party."

Cruella scoffed. "Darling, how is it a surprise party if he tells you to do it?"

"It makes him feel like we all like him," Pan explained.

"All the same, he doesn't like surprises, so do exactly as I tell you," Cora added. "Milah, you're responsible for keeping all children locked up and quiet, because Hades finds them tedious."

"That leaves me out of the actual party, thank heavens," Milah said.

"Liam, you're in charge of the bar. Bring your whole stock, but don't let anyone have more than one drink. Hades doesn't want anyone to have more fun than him."

"No amount of alcohol could make this party fun for anyone," Liam shot.

"Blind Witch, you're in charge of food for the party. Do you remember the menu from last year?"

The Blind Witch nodded in Cora's direction. "Hades prefers liver with fava beans and a nice chianti."

"Henry, you're in charge of making sure everyone sits in the correct seats and that no one comes late or leaves early."

"That's the worst job, Cora," Henry fussed. "Why is that always my job?"

Cora smirked. "Because I enjoy watching you struggle, dear husband. Pan, James, Cruella, Hercules, the four of you, and myself, have the distinguished honor of sitting at Hades' private table. Most of us know the drill, but Cruella, this means that you have to laugh at all of his jokes and listen to every story he tells with rapt attention."

"And if I don't?" Cruella challenged her.

"Every time he feels like someone isn't listening, he makes us stay for another hour," Hercules explained. "The first year that I was down here, he extended the party by 6 days because I coughed during the punchline of his cyclops joke."

"Are we all clear?" Cora asked.

"Yes," everyone groaned.

Cora wrote something on her clipboard. "The party is tomorrow night at 6:66 PM, which is really 7:06. Hades thinks 6:66 sounds more menacing."

"Menacing?" Cruella scoffed. "It sounds stupid, darling."

"That's exactly the sort of thing you shouldn't say at Hades' party," Pan quipped.


Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Please review!