Fallen Heroes
Author Note:
I'm a fan fiction writer who mainly writes novels. A large majority of my books are within the Home Alone and Inspector Gadget fandoms. I've always wanted to write a Dr Who fic - and this is it. This is also my first time writing in the Dr Who fandom.
This is a future based fic (as are all my fan fic novels because that is how I write) and this story is no exception – it features an incarnation of the Doctor many years into the future and yes, in this incarnation, the Doctor is a woman.
Don't like, don't read.
Otherwise, enjoy! Reviews welcome. ~ Aline Riva ~
Summary:
Many years into the future the Doctor has regenerated into yet another identity – this time as a woman.
After a battle with the Cybermen that left both the men she loved dead on two worlds a thousand years apart, the Doctor has never felt so alone – until, whilst returning her companion Ralph to his own time on Earth in 2013, she runs into her eleventh incarnation, who is stunned to find out that she is him, many regenerations into the future.
When she tells him of her heartbreak and the agonising decision to choose between saving Earth or a human Mars colony from an invasion by the Cybermen, a choice that cost her the lives of the two men she loved, he agrees to help her – and his actions will have consequences that reach back through time, altering everything...
Disclaimer: I own nothing, this is a work of fan fiction.
Rated T.
Chapter 1
London, 2013:
The wide window looked out onto a view of a slate grey sky with no sign of sun breaking through.
The Doctor stood and looked out through the glass, seeing London in the post millennium age yet recalling old London, a place that had worn many guises over the years:
The plague ridden streets of filth, the fire that destroyed it, and the new buildings that replaced the old that now stood as aged monuments to a city's past. In the blink of an eye it seemed carriages could have travelled along those roads in the days of Victorian London, there were reminders of it everywhere yet now in 2013 that age too was gone.
Time was a funny thing, a life time to humans, but gone by too fast, like dog years– at least, it seemed that way to a Time Lord.
The Doctor's heart was aching for every love known by the twin hearts that beat within; love, much like the changing face of London Town, had come in many guises and every single one of them had been underlined by loss in one way or another.
Humans lived such short lives. Short but beautiful and no matter how many times that notion had forced the Doctor to turn away with a broken heart, yet always there was a reason to turn back, to be the defender of this vulnerable planet no matter the cost.
But this time, the cost had been too great.
The Doctor's gaze shifted from the skyline to the murky waters of the Thames; today the river seemed darker, perhaps for the secret that had lurked beneath the surface only a short time ago, or perhaps it was just the reflection of the grey sky above or the reflection of sorrow weighing heavily within twin hearts that were breaking...
Memories flashed to mind one after the other as the sky grew darker and clouds became heavy with rain:
Leo Isaac's dark eyes flashed with anger as he brandished a gun in his hand.
But then his jaw had dropped as the gun slid from his grip as the first cyberman smashed his way through the wall.
"What the hell are they?" he had whispered.
"Cybermen," the Doctor had replied, "and you can't stop them!"
They never would have met, the Doctor knew it – if Ralph, a rather timid and too - curious human hadn't stumbled across a vessel on barge and decided to investigate. Unfortunately for him it was owned by space pirates who owned a time shift device, who were scavenging about for post millennium artefacts, but instead had found Ralph and abducted him with the intention of selling him at an intergalactic slave market on the rougher side of the galaxy.
The Doctor had found him and freed him and promised him a free trip back to Earth, back to his own time - after first stopping off at the future thriving Mars colony that was such a peaceful place to be – and a thousand years into the future.
That stay on Mars had been extended because the Doctor had struck up an unexpected friendship with Professor Jaden Floyd, who was in charge of running the security systems. When it had been time to say goodbye, the Doctor's heart had ached along with a strange feeling that seemed to suggest the universe had more to say about this man...
But on returning to Earth in 2013, the Doctor had learned of the Cyber fleet's planned attack... and on putting the name Professor Jaden Floyd into the data base, had learned this man would die a hero's death defending the Mars colony from a cyber fleet attack that was timed in the future to happen the same time as the attack on Earth back in 2013.
The attack had been prevented, at least here on Earth, thanks to landing the Tardis deep below the river Thames where the signal was based - the Doctor had managed to recalibrate the signal's pulse and fried the transmitter deep within the brain of every cyberman who could hear it.
But it hadn't stopped the attack on the Mars base so far in the future.
Professor Jaden Floyd had prevented that, powering up the weakened shields and destroying the vessel on impact – and the machine he had over powered blew up as he worked on it to hold the signal together.
His death could have been prevented, had the Doctor not been so intent on destroying the earth-bound fleet before thinking of using the Tardis to send a warning to Mars...
With the signal destroyed, they had materialised the Police Box looking out over the Thames, where its aged appearance fitted in well with old architecture. On stepping out of the Tardis, Leo had turned to the Doctor and smiled and said:
"I knew you could do it. Now it's time to do things my way – let's go home and talk about the future."
The Doctor had looked at him doubtfully.
"The future? My home is the Tardis."
Leo had smiled as his dark eyes sparkled playfully.
"You could always park it up in my place - there's plenty of room!"
And then the half metallic wail from deep inside the wounded cyberman sounded like a death rattle as the silver robot flung open the door of the Tardis and stepped out on to the London street. Passers by screamed and fled and the cyberman half leaned, fluid leaking from a wound in its side as it raised its weapon.
Leo ripped his loaded hand gun from beneath his long dark jacket and took a firm two-handed aim at the creature.
"No more of this!" he yelled, "it's over!"
Ralph had rushed to the open door, his pale eyes growing wide with fear as he saw the scene unfolding, and in a moment of unusual courage had grabbed the cyberman from behind as he tried to wrestle the weapon from its grip. The wounded cyberman had struggled, Leo had fired and the bullet had bounced off its metallic body. As the Doctor lunged forward to grab at the cyberman's weapon, the creature had fired, hitting Leo in the chest.
As Ralph wrestled the robot to the ground, the Doctor had grabbed its weapon, looking into its lifeless, soulless face and feeling nothing but rage and hatred as the weapon was aimed firm at the chest of the cyberman and the trigger was pulled.
The robot's body had jerked and a last wail had fizzled into nothingness as fluid bubbled from the wound and then the cyberman lay dead on the street.
Then it seemed as if the world had turned to silence.
The Doctor knelt down and cradled Leo, who was barely breathing.
Ralph fell to his knees and took in a frightened breath as the wind blew his fair hair and his face turned pale with shock.
"How did that thing get in the Tardis?" he asked.
"Must have been when I was tampering with the signal," the Doctor replied, looking down at the man whose life was slipping away.
"I'm sorry, Leo," the Doctor whispered, "I should have known...you never listen to me!"
And Leo had dragged his eyes open, looked up and fought to breathe.
"Don't let me go..." he murmured, then his eyes closed once more and he coughed as blood trickled from the side of his mouth.
"It was my fault!" Ralph said tearfully, "I shouldn't have hid away, I should have stayed at the console just like you said when we went under the river...I'm sorry, if I'd been there –"
The Doctor shot him a steely gaze.
"You would have been killed too."
"But I wanted to stop this!"
"And you did!" the Doctor said sharply, still clinging to the dying man, "You just don't get it do you, Ralph?"
And Ralph's light grey eyes met with the Doctor's own gaze of emerald green and he saw nothing within but cold resignation to a hard truth learned through centuries and many lifetimes within:
"This is the reality of how wars are won," the Doctor said bitterly, "through blood spilt and lives lost – all the heroes are dead, Ralph. They're all gone..."
And then nothing more was said as the wail of sirens split the air and the Doctor held on to Leo, knowing nothing in this time and place could be done to save the life of a man who had been hit in the chest with a blast from an alien weapon that had shattered bone and caused irreparable internal injuries...
Now the Doctor stood in the corridor looking out of the wide window at the view of the river, the buildings beyond; the city was sleeping now, moving into night and lights were shining and traffic was flowing and life seemed to be moving along with ease, as if it was just another night.
It was strange how this world could carry on as if nothing had happened when something so terrible had just occurred that made those affected by it feel as if the end of the world had come along. Right now the Doctor was the only one who felt like the world was ending; it was ending on a personal scale that all around seemed oblivious to because a man named Leo Isaac was dying...
"Doctor?"
Hearing Ralph's voice brought some comfort. He had stayed around because he wanted to be here, he wanted to help and the Doctor appreciated that act of kindness at this time, but still didn't answer him.
Then his footsteps came closer.
"I'd do more if I could. I know all I can do is be here but I'm trying to help. I know this must be breaking your heart – both your hearts! I just wish I could help. Did you hear me, Doctor?"
And the Doctor finally turned from the window, green eyes glassy with tears.
"I heard you."
Ralph stood there for a moment and looked at the Doctor – she was shorter than him, and wearing such a smart black suit and pressed white blouse it would have been easy for anyone to pass her in the street and think she was just another London office worker, her hair was down to her shoulders and fire-red, she looked to be in her late thirties but she was pretty with it, and it was only when he looked into her bright green eyes and saw something so deep and old and wise that he remembered she was a Time Lord – she still said Lord not Lady, perhaps because she had explained when they had first met that she had never been a woman before, although she had regenerated many times before she had always been male, so this new incarnation had come as something of a shock at first.
Ralph thought she was pretty.
She was slender and athletic and dark mascara framed her green eyes and her lip gloss shone dark red when it caught the light. He had tried so many times to tell her that he cared, he really cared - and each time had failed miserably, because words, thinking and general quick-wittedness would never be any of his strong points, and he also knew that now was not a time to make another clumsy attempt, because Leo was dying, her Leo...
"I was just talking to the doctors; they said you can see him now. Do you want me to come with you?"
The Doctor looked up at her tall, nervous companion and shook her head.
"No, wait here."
Then she walked up the corridor alone and Ralph stayed by the window, watching as the Doctor headed off towards the room where Leo Isaac lay dying.
As she walked, her twin hearts felt heavy.
She thought of Leo, a man whose life had been shrouded in dark dealings and crime and then she thought of the remark he had made as they had left the riverbed:
"So what if a Mars colony got blown up a thousand years from now? We're still here, you stopped the invasion – it's over!"
Leo had never been a sensitive man. He had never thought beyond his own reality. That was him - selfish, thoughtless Leo Isaac.
Yet she had loved him.
As she approached his room her mind was swirling much like the universe that she was so close to - time was a strange thing, her only constant companion, but still it refused to give up the answers she sought:
Why him?
Why did she have to be pushed together with Leo, a man who was in most senses of the world, a criminal?
The Tardis computer had laid it all out for her when she had first looked him up to find out who this man was:
Leo Isaac was a nightclub owner with convictions for armed bank robbery in his youth. He was suspected of gun smuggling and possible involvement in large scale fraud. And according to records as they had first stood, was due to be murdered by a gangland rival who would have had him shot and buried in a shallow grave before the end of the month...but that had changed now, he was to die much sooner thanks to that blast from the weapon of a dying cyberman...
The Doctor blinked away tears. This was not the first time she had been forced to watch someone she loved die, but it never got any easier, no matter how many lifetimes passed by...
Nothing made sense.
She recalled clearly the first day she had met Leo, he had grabbed her and with dark eyes blazing asked her a question she still did not understand:
"Where is my son?"
And then as she wondered about that question her skin prickled as if a breeze had just shifted down the corridor, as if the universe was trying to convey something.
She wondered about it and then paused at his door to push up the sleeve of her jacket and scratch at the mottled rash that was spreading up her arm. Then she shook her head, wanting to think no more because her twin hearts were breaking and the man who lie in the bed beyond this door was dying and she knew when he was gone a part of her soul would be gone forever too.
Then she walked into his room and as she approached his bedside the Doctor felt as if her hearts were breaking all over again:
Leo was barely clinging to life.
As she sat beside him and watched as the machines and the wires and the tubes kept him alive, she felt sure he had only survived the initial blast from the weapon because he was a tall, heavily built man. Someone who had a smaller frame, someone like Ralph, would have died instantly. Or perhaps he was just holding on because he was determined to live as long as he could, she didn't know but as she looked into his eyes she managed to smile.
"You're still here," she reminded him, "you're strong, Leo. You have to hold on."
And she ran her hand over his dark hair and then leaned closer, looking into his eyes.
"I won't leave you."
As he felt her take hold of his hand, Leo weakly smiled back at her and that smile seemed to radiate from his dark eyes; he knew he was dying yet he seemed to be so happy and the Doctor wondered why, because after taking a blast from that weapon he ought to be in terrible pain, yet for the first time since she had known him, Leo seemed almost at peace...
His arm shook as he summoned the last of his strength to squeeze her hand.
"I know," he whispered, "I get it now, don't you?"
The Doctor shook her head.
"I don't understand, get what, Leo?"
He briefly closed his eyes as he took in a slow breath, then he focussed on the Doctor once more.
"You and me," he said weakly, "think about it, Doctor...about us... it makes sense now. You came back with my son."
And as his face drained of the last flush of life, he drew in another breath as love shone in his dark eyes and he gripped her hand tighter.
"Our son."
Then he spoke no more as he breathed out and let go of her hand.
His eyes were focussed on nothing and as the monitors flat lined she looked down at him, hardy believing this man who had fought his way so aggressively through a violent life had slipped away so easily at the end of it.
The Doctor was still holding his hand.
She knew the medical staff had come in and were disconnecting him from the machines but she stood there, feeling the remainder of warmth still in his hand as she clutched at it as if wishing she could hold life inside his shattered body in the same way. She thought of a man she knew one thousand years into the future, Professor Jaden Floyd, the man who had stolen her twin hearts, the man she had loved as much as Leo. Both men were gone now, because of the Cybermen's planned attack.
The Earth was safe but both the men she had held close to her hearts were gone.
This was the price, paid yet again for defending the Earth – she was left alone...
She knew tears were sliding down her face and as a nurse asked if she wanted more time with him she nodded, then felt thankful as the last of the staff left her alone with Leo's body. They had closed his eyes after death and even knowing that seemed to drive the pain deeper at his loss, reminding her she would never look into his dark eyes again.
Then as she looked down at him she thought again of Jaden and sky blue eyes and the gentle touch of his hand on her face; they had been two men so different in every way, yet she had loved them both and lost them and felt nothing but emptiness and a nagging guilt that weighed down as she wondered why it had to be this way:
Why Leo, why Jaden?
Both men had been heroes in their own way, Jaden had died powering up the planet's shields to destroy the Cyberfleet vessel. Leo had died foolishly trying to take on a cyberman with a hand gun simply because he had chosen to ignore her warning, even though he knew a simple bullet could not stop one of those machines...
He had been trying to protect her.
She didn't need protecting but he had chosen to do it anyway and that act had cost him his life...
Much later the Doctor leaned over Leo's body and kissed his cheek.
"I do love you," she whispered, then she stood up, turned away from his bed and every step towards the door felt as if he was being ripped from her life, but he was gone and she knew it and she spared herself the pain of a last look back as she left the room and closed the door behind her.
As she walked away, Ralph hurried after her.
"How is he?"
He had sounded so hopeful.
The Doctor stopped walking and looked into his eyes.
"He's gone."
Ralph reached out and put his hand on her shoulder.
"I'm so sorry. Listen Doctor, we shouldn't stay around here – let's go and –"
"I just need some..." as she paused, the irony of her own word hit her and she shook her head, "I need some time, time alone. Go home, Ralph. That's why we came to 2013 - to bring you home, so go. I'm not much company right now."
And as he took his hand off her shoulder and she caught a flicker of sorrow in his eyes, the Doctor managed a smile.
"I know where you live. I'll come and look you up some day. But right now I need to be alone, to think about everything and I really need to get back in the Tardis and go, alone."
Ralph stared at her.
"Go where?"
The Doctor shrugged.
"Mars, perhaps."
She fell silent as she blinked back tears.
"Because of Jaden?" Ralph asked her.
The Doctor nodded.
"He gave his life to save the colony. He died because I saved this planet, because I had no time to send a warning, I made a choice and now two men are dead, Ralph. I think my need to be alone is justified!"
The Doctor headed towards the entrance and Ralph walked alongside her.
As they reached the outside she paused to close her eyes and take in fresh air.
"I don't think you should be alone right now. I don't think it's a good idea."
The Doctor gave a sigh and turned back to her companion.
"Space travel scares you. When we first went to Mars to meet the earth colonists you stayed in the Tardis for three weeks because you said you were scared of the Martians! This life isn't suited to you. Besides, I've already lost too may people I care about. I'm not adding you to the list. Go home."
The Doctor turned away and began to walk off into the night.
"You care about me?"
As Ralph's voice cut through the night air she gave another sigh and looked back at him.
"If you had an ounce of common sense you'd understand I'm keeping you safe by leaving you behind. Now I really do need to be alone."
Ralph reached into his pocket and drew out the Tardis key.
"Do I have to give this back?"
He sounded like a disappointed child.
The Doctor's mood softened as she saw the look in his eyes and she shook her head.
"Maybe you should stay around for a while longer – but only until I leave!"
He was smiling already and if she hadn't been so weighed down with grief she knew that smile would have been infectious.
"Go back to the Tardis," she told him, "I'll be along later."
Ralph was still smiling.
"Thanks," he said warmly, but the Doctor just turned away and began to walk towards the open gates of the hospital grounds, not looking back as she wished she could leave heartache and memories behind as easily as she could walk away from this place without a backwards glance.
A short while later the Doctor walked alone by the river, any tears she had shed had been done alone here as the water flowed by and she thought about how the sun would rise tomorrow on another new day, the Earth had survived but the two men she loved had not.
Then as she walked she saw the familiar sight of the Tardis and smiled, as she felt sure inviting Ralph to stay a while longer had been the right decision.
She walked on, closer to the Tardis.
And then she stopped walking and looked back as her eyes clouded with confusion.
She looked over her shoulder, feeling sure she had left the Tardis up the other end of the riverside...
And as she realised her mistake, the Doctor stood there, staring at the police box a short distance away:
This was not her Tardis – she could feel it, as if looking at an old photograph and recalling something else...
Then she heard a woman's laughter and it danced on the breeze as she recalled a woman twice dead who she had found again, back in the day when she had been in her... she searched for the distant memory and found it... Yes, that was it! She had been in her eleventh incarnation – so long ago...Clara, that was her companion's name back then, when she had been a he and...
The doctor stared at the couple walking towards her. A dark haired young woman linked arms with a tall young man who wore a brown suit and a bow tie. He was laughing and telling her they could go anywhere in the world, anywhere in the universe...
And then he stopped walking too.
The young man stared at the flame haired woman who stood before him with tears running down her face. Her bright green eyes seemed to tell of a life lived over many times, of loss and heart break and the loneliness of the last Time Lord and he felt as if he could have been looking into mirror, yet seeing a new reflection.
He let go of Clara's hand.
His companion stopped walking and her gaze shifted from him to the woman who stood before them and then back to the Doctor once more.
"What's going on?" she wondered aloud.
The eleventh Doctor stepped closer to the tearful woman, still staring at her as he picked up on the indescribable and very unique vibe that she was linked to him in a future sense, more than that, he knew two hearts beat within her chest and he knew without a shadow of doubt in his mind they had fought the same battles, lived the same lives...
He shook his head.
"I don't understand..."
He continued to stare at her.
"Who are you?" he asked.
The Doctor took in a shaky breath and pushed her red hair off her face as her tears glistened in the moonlight and the river beyond flowed like a swathe of black ink.
"I'm you," she replied tearfully, "that's who I am, Doctor – but many, many years from now."
More tears spilled down her face and her voice faltered.
"I'm you!" she said again, looking at herself in another lifetime in another body as she gave a sob of despair and broke down and wept.
