Hermione Granger - The Next Bachelorette

*DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, although I wish I did. Also, Fred is alive in this fanfic because if he wasn't, I would cry. I also do not own the show, The Bachelorette. *

This whole thing was Ginny's fault. I really don't know what I was thinking. I'm Hermione Granger, brightest witch of her age, 1/3 of the Golden Trio, and currently single. Considering the other two titles have consumed the last 11 years of my life, being single really didn't seem like it was an important issue. But after saving the wizarding world, it was time to address something much more terrifying, my dating life. 15 wizards had been chosen to have a chance to win me over, by the end of this month only one will remain. In just ten minutes I would finally be able to see who was competing for my heart. Urg, even the phrasing of that makes me groan. It's going to be a long four weeks.

Hello and welcome to this premiere of the Bachelorette. Now for those of you new viewers, here's a run down of how this episode is going to work. In just a few moments our 15 contestants will be able to meet Miss Granger and have a short period of time to leave an impression. After meeting with all of them, Hermione will eliminate half the contestants and give out the Best Impression rose, ensuring a contestant's safety next week. Now let's meet the contestants.

Please welcome our first contestant, Mr. Neville Longbottom. At age 22, he has graduated from Hogwarts and now holds the position of Herbology Professor at his alma mater. He also was a huge contributor in the Battle of Hogwarts and has recently been awarded the "Sexiest Soldier" and "Puberty's Greatest Success" titles by Witches Weekly.

Next up is our very own Mr. Harry Potter. At age 22, he is our resident Savior of the Wizarding World. Rumor is that Mr. Potter has taken a break on his career after the struggle of the last twenty-two years of his life. After ending things with Miss Ginny Weasley, can his best friend be the perfect rebound?

Now entering the room are Lee Jordan, Dean Thomas, and Blaise Zabini. All aged 23 and old schoolmates, were these blokes not enough for Miss Granger or simply missed connections? With outstanding professions as a Radio Broadcaster for Wizarding Wireless Network, a Transfiguration Professor at Hogwarts, and a Retired Aristocrat, will these fellows finally stand a chance?

AH, contestants six and seven are none other than our favorite pranksters Fred and George Weasley. After a close call following the Battle of Hogwarts, both twins have successfully healed and are back to business. Their very successful business that is, known as Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. At twenty-four years old these brothers have given up their old ways and are finally ready to settle down. But will Hermione take them seriously or treat them as nothing more than their merchandise?

Unfortunately, we now have to cut to commercial break but stay tuned for our next eight contestants. Including an old flame and an old enemy that you won't want to miss.