A/N: I just wanted to let you all know I've been in a little accident. Don't worry, I'm doing fine. I was driving along probably a little faster than I should have been going and crashed into a writers block. I suffered a minor concussion and was ordered no writing for a couple weeks. But I am back now, although I should take it a little easy. So for those awaiting updates on Bad Things and Crashed I promise I will get to them very soon! In the meantime, enjoy this new story I just started. Oh and you can leave any get well cards and flowers in your review!!
Summary: Matt and Emily got married and had their first child, a baby girl, Hannah. Two months after Hannah was born, Emily was kidnapped. It's been 5 years now but Matt has never stopped looking for her. When Matt gets an anonymous call, will he finally find the woman he's been searching day and night for? Will "Emily" even remember her past life?
"Hey Daddy!" Hannah came running into the living room and wrapped her little arms around Matt's neck.
"Hi sweetheart." He picked her up and held her close. Every morning started the same way. Hannah would wake up and run out to greet her Daddy. Matt would hold her close, wanting to treasure every moment they had together. He knew all too well how quickly it could be taken away.
"What would you like for breakfast?" Matt stood up and hid the file he was looking at.
"Cereal!" Hannah said excitedly.
"Of course." Matt smiled. 'Just like Emily.'
"Daddy, what's that paper you're always looking at?" Matt nearly dropped the milk. Hannah just looked at him, the picture of innocence. She had no idea what she was asking. After Emily had been missing for a year and it looked like they may never find her, Matt decided it would be best to never tell Hannah the details of her mother's disappearance.
"It's for work." He poured the cereal into her bowl, followed by the milk.
"Then why do you always look so sad?" It was an honest question. One Matt wasn't ready to answer yet.
"It's nothing sweetheart. Here." Matt gave Hannah her cereal then turned around and leaned against the counter. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply, as pain ripped through his heart.
"Hey Matt." Lia greeted him as he stepped off the elevator.
"Hey." He kept on walking and headed straight for his desk.
"Is everything ok?" Lia followed and sat down in the empty chair next to Matt. Cheryl had to assign Matt a new partner almost immediately but he insisted Emily's desk and chair remain empty.
"Yeah. Fine." Matt busied himself with some paperwork.
"Matt." Lia laid her hand on top of the file he was looking at.
"Hannah asked about the papers I'm always looking at." Matt answered but didn't look at her.
"What…what did you say?"
"I told her it was just work. But she's gonna start asking questions now, Lia. I can feel it. What if the next one is, 'Why don't I have a mommy?'" Matt sighed and rested his head in his hands. Lia wasn't sure what to do. No one could imagine the pain this man was going through.
"I don't really know what to say Matt. But you know I am here if you ever need me or need to me to help with Hannah."
"I know. Thanks." Matt managed to force a weak smile. Lia stood up and headed for Cheryl's office.
"It's been 5 years Cheryl. It isn't getting any easier. You said as time passed he would let this go. He's not and now Hannah is asking questions and Matt has no idea what to do or say to her." Lia just barely shut the door before she started her rant.
"Hello to you too." Cheryl looked slightly annoyed but you could still see the concern in her eyes.
"Sorry." Lia flopped down in the chair.
"To be honest, I don't know what to do for him anymore. I thought he was starting to accept the fact that….that Emily is gone." Cheryl paused at the end. Even though they all knew Emily was gone, it was still difficult to say out loud. The two woman sat in silence for a few minutes.
"I don't think he's ever going to let this go Cheryl." Lia spoke finally.
"I know." Cheryl picked up the phone and motioned for Lia to give her a few minutes.
"What?! No, absolutely not Cheryl." Matt shook his head defiantly.
"Matt…"
"Cheryl I am NOT seeing a shrink! What do I need a shrink a for?"
"Matt…"
"I am still one of the top 5 negotiators. I haven't lost any hostages or HT's in 6 months. I'm at the top of my game."
"I'm worried about you." Cheryl spoke quietly but Matt heard every word.
"I'm fine Cheryl. Things are tough right now with Hannah but we're doing ok." Matt ran his right hand through his thick black hair.
"I think Hannah should see someone too. And I think it's time you told her about Emily."
"Cheryl, I can't. What am I suppose to say? How do I explain it to her?" Matt had a look of sheer panic on his face.
"That's why you need to see a shrink. I spoke with a good friend of mine. She's willing to see both you and Hannah as a favor to me. No one has to know." Cheryl knew that last part was important for Matt.
"I don't know…"
"This isn't up for negotiation Matt."
"I was afraid you'd say that. What's her number?" Matt resigned knowing there was no way to win this fight.
Matt sat in his car, hands gripping the steering wheel. Dr. Rosemarie Livingston was able to fit him in right away. Matt did not want to talk to some shrink, but knew he had no choice in the matter. He glanced at the clock again. It was time.
"Yeah I'm Matt Flannery. I have an appointment with Dr. Livingston at 1pm." The receptionist quickly looked at the schedule confirming his appointment then handed Matt a clipboard.
"Ok, I need you to fill out the first two pages and just read and sign the last page." Matt rolled his eyes but took the clipboard. He made himself comfortable on one of the couches and filled out the paperwork. He had just signed his name when the doctor came out to greet him.
"Mr. Flannery. I'm Dr. Livingston. Follow me." Matt shook her hand quickly then followed her back to her office.
"You can sit in one of the chairs or you can sit on the couch. Whatever is more comfortable for you." She smiled at him and Matt relaxed a little bit.
"So where do we start?" Matt wiped his palms on his jeans.
"Where would you like to start?"
Matt restrained from rolling his eyes. Typical shrink. He wanted to be a smart ass but knew Cheryl would find out if he didn't take this seriously.
"Well I assume Cheryl has told you about my situation." Dr. Livingston just nodded her head as she wrote something down on a yellow pad.
"I don't honestly know why I'm here. I thought I was doing just fine." Matt stopped talking now and leaned back on the couch, refusing to say anymore. Dr. Livingston looked up obviously waiting for him to continue on. When Matt said nothing she set her pen down and cleared her throat.
"So you have no idea whatsoever why Cheryl wanted you to see me?"
"Well I mean I'm sure it has something to do with Emily or Hannah but I don't understand why. Like I said I'm doing just fine."
"Tell me about Emily."
"Tell you about Emily? Didn't Cheryl fill you in on at least that?" Matt's stomach was in knots at the thought of reliving what happened 5 years ago.
"I know what happened but I want to hear it from you." Dr. Livingston grabbed her pen and started to jot something down again.
"Emily and I were partners in the CNU. That's how we met. We were the best team of negotiators the FBI had." Matt smiled.
"About 6 years ago we got married and soon after found out we were expecting our first child. We were both a little freaked out. Not sure we were ready for kids. But we made it through the 9 months of pregnancy and had a little girl, Hannah. I fell in love with her immediately. She looks just like Emily. Anyway, about two months later…." Matt closed his eyes as he relived that fateful night.
"Matt! I told you to get diapers!" Emily yelled from the baby's room.
"Oops." Matt shut the TV off and joined Emily.
"I'm sorry, babe, I forgot. Want me to run out and get some real quick?"
"No, I'll go out. I need a break from all this." Emily sighed and ran her hands through her hair. Matt wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close. He felt Emily relax against him.
"I know this is tougher than either of us imagined. I love you. I love both of you. And I wouldn't trade this for anything." Matt turned Emily in his arms and kissed her passionately.
"I love you too." Emily smiled and Matt fell in love with her all over again.
"But I'm still getting the diapers!" Emily said as they walked back out to the living room.
"Of course. Need some money?" Matt started to reach for his wallet.
"No that's ok, I'll just use the card." She gave him a quick peck on the lips, grabbed her purse, and headed out the door.
Matt sat down in his recliner and clicked the TV back on. He had just put his feet up when Hannah started crying again. Matt groaned then went to check on his baby girl.
"Hey sweetheart. What's the matter?" He picked Hannah up and held her against his chest, swaying back and forth gently. Within seconds the crying had ceased. Matt smiled as he headed for the kitchen. It was about time for her next bottle. Emily had tried breast feeding but Hannah just couldn't get the hang of it. Rather than risk her not getting enough nutrition Emily made the decision to just bottle feed her.
Hannah fell asleep in his arms after she finished the bottle. Matt carried her back to the crib, careful not to wake her. He tucked her in and stood for a few more moments just watching her sleep.
"Now try to not to make any messes before mommy gets back with some diapers ok?" Matt whispered before shutting off the lights and resuming his position in the recliner.
Three hours later Matt awoke to a ringing phone. He glanced at the clock and fear struck him. Emily had been gone for over three hours. Matt jumped up and reached the phone just as the answering machine was about to pick up.
"Hello?" He said only slightly out of breath.
"Matt! Where are you? I've been calling for 10 minutes!" It was Cheryl.
"I fell asleep in the chair. What's wrong?"
"I'm on my way to your house right now. In fact I'm just pulling onto your street. I'll see you in a few." Cheryl hung up before Matt could demand any more information. 5 minutes later Matt heard a knock.
"Cheryl what's going on!" Matt yanked the door open. Cheryl wasn't alone. She had two police officers with her.
"Matt there was a kidnapping tonight at Target. An elderly lady witnessed the whole thing and called the police right away. There was no identification left behind, just a gun and a badge in the glove compartment." Cheryl held out the badge and Matt took it, squeezing tightly as tears rolled down his cheeks.
"No, not Emily." Matt whispered to no one in particular.
"No!" He shouted before collapsing to the floor.
Dr. Livingston stopped writing. Her heart broke for the man in front of her. And for the little girl who would never get to know her mother. She was about to say something when Matt's phone started to ring. She sighed but knew it was part of his job.
"This is Matt."
"Hi." The voice of a nervous young woman came through.
"Who is this?" Matt didn't have time for games.
"I'm sorry to bug you. It's just…I saw a poster the other day about a missing woman. It says her name is Emily? It had this phone number and well….I think found the woman on that poster. Uh, I think I'm looking at her right now."
