Working Hard or Hardly Working?
To: the most stubborn man I've ever met
From: Your best friend of 10 years
Date Received: September 28, 2007
Dear Ron,
How are you? I haven't seen you in a week or so….still mad at me are you?
RESPOND YOU GIT
Love,
Hermione
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September 29, 2007
To: girl who ratted out her best friend to his mother
From: Still angry
Dear Hermione,
You deserve at least another week of the silent treatment. I mean yes technically I should have told my mother that I didn't appreciate the newest maroon sweater this Christmas. But seriously did you have to laugh after she asked me why I never wore it? Anyways I'll talk to you tomorrow you evil women.
Still Seeking Revenge,
Ron
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September 29, 2007
To: Big Scary Man
From: Oh I'm so scared
Ron,
Two words: BRING IT
-Hermione
Ps. Maroon is your color. Own it.
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September 30, 2007
To: Boy who never died
From: The Best looking of the trio
Harry,
Lets agree to no longer associate with Hermione. She insulted my manliness. Bah women.
Ron
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September 30, 2007
To: Less then a man
From: Your own personal advice columnist
Ron,
Angry that she exposed your hatred of maroon sweaters or are you just expressing your frustration that you still aren't manly enough to ask her out?
With All The Manly Love in the world,
Harry "The Man" Potter
PS. Quiditch Saturday? Fred, George, Bill, Charlie, Angelina, Katie, you and obviously me? Oh do you know if Ginny is coming?
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September 30, 2007
To: "The Man"
From: The better man
Harry,
Who said I was afraid to ask Hermione out? I just have chosen not to. For your information I like someone else. But because you are a git I won't tell you who. Ha!
Ron
PS. Saturday sounds good. And I believe Ginny will be there as long as she isn't sentenced to Azkaban first for killing Fleur….
PPS. We graduated Hogwarts exactly 3 years and 3 months ago. You're and auror and I'm a professional quiditch player. Shall we celebrate by getting drinks? Yes I believe we should. Invite Hermione she told me she is stopping by your office in an hour, meet up then?
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-Harry's office-
Hermione: I can't believe that my self centered arrogant prat of a boss just marched in there and told me he thought my report was rubbish. But I bet you anything it wasn't the report he didn't like, he just doesn't like me!
Harry: Hermione! Slow down…what happened?
Hermione: Today at work I had a very important meeting with my client, Mr. Whitlet, when my boss just strutted in to tell me my work was slipping and my latest status report was awful. Mr. Whitlet got up and left. Of course he didn't want a business associate whose work was slipping. So you know what I did? I quit!
Harry: WHAT? After one lost client you quit? That's completely irrational.
Hermione: BUT it wasn't the first client. It was the 6th. I've been losing clients all of this past month and I know its just because my boss hates me. And he only hates me because I wouldn't go out with him that arrogant selfish prick!
Harry: So you quit?
Hermione: Yeah
Harry: Without any other job options?
Hermione: Well yeah…
Harry: What are you going to do now?
Hermione: I don't know. I never really liked business very much there was never much time for any social life and I know my mother really wants me to start dating again. I'll explore my options I guess.
Harry: Dating? Do you have anyone in mind?
Hermione: Not yet but I'm looking….speaking of dating have you asked out Ginny yet?
Harry: Uh well no but its only because I doubt she will say yes
Hermione: Hmm
Harry: Do you know something?
Hermione: Well…..
Harry: HERMIONE!
Hermione: Here is the deal you set me up with someone and I'll tell you all about Ginny's love life. I just really need a date to get my parents off my back. Something about wanting grandchildren. Sheez you would think they could wait a little as I am only 21 but no they keep asking.
Harry: Fine. Deal.
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To: Red hair weasel king
From: Scar face
Ron,
You like someone other then Hermione? This is shocking? Who is it mate? Do I know them? Want me to set you up? Do you like Lavender? Parvati? Padma? Hannah? Susan? Luna? Milicent? Ew forget the last one. We need to discuss this.
Harry
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To: Gossip Girl
From: The only man in this conversation
Harry,
Lavender? Been there done that. Parvati? Too smart for me. Padma? Two words: Yule ball fiasco. Oh wait that was three. Hannah? Who? Susan? Quiet but deadly. Milicent? I vomited a little.
Ron
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To: Romeo
From: Cupid
Ron,
You forgot Luna. Hmm
Harry
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To: Freak
From: Romeo
Harry,
I didn't say anything!
Ron
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To: Draco Malfoy
From: Blaise Zabini
Draco,
You can come out of hiding now you're crazy ex-girlfriend has left her position of camping out in your apartment. I do need help though with these briefs so we need you back at the firm and stat. We lawyers can't function without our man whore boss.
Blaise
PS. Maybe if you stopped go out with every girl in London then you could walk freely without being attacked.
PPS. Congratz on winning Witch Weekly's Best Body for the 10th time in a row. I'm sure all those 12 year old girls are swooning over you somewhere.
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To: Blaise "Unattractive" Zabini
From: Draco "Best Bodied" Malfoy
Zabini,
I would take your advice but then again unlike you I like women. You see my dear friend we live two different life styles. Mine is fun yours is more…..well married.
Malfoy
PS. I have dated way more then the girls in London. Make it England.
PPS. Jealous?
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To: Ginny Weasley
From: Hermione Granger
Ginny,
Did you see witch weekly's new edition. Draco Malfoy (yes the very same egotistical arse) won England's best body. I laughed so hard. Apparently the evil rodent look is in. Ha!
XOXO,
Hermione
PS. A certain raven-haired man is interested in you. I know you want him should I arrange a date?
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To: Hermione
From: Ginny
Hermione,
As far as Draco Malfoy goes you can't deny he is attractive at least physically. Visually he is a god, personality wise you might as well throw him out of a moving bus.
Love,
Ginny
PS. I have no idea what you are talking about…..
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To: Blaise Zabini
From: Hermione Granger
Dear Mr. Zabini,
I recently came upon your job listing which entailed a open position for a financial consultant at your law firm. I would love to schedule an interview if possible. Please let me know.
Sincerely,
Hermione Granger
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To: Ginny, Harry and Ron
From: Hermione
I'VE GONE MAD. I APPLIED FOR A JOB APPLICATION AT A LAWFIRM. WHOSE LAWFIRM MIGHT YOU ASK. BLAISE ZABINI. Yes the former slytherin. But it seemed like the perfect job. Nice pay, perfect hours and a company car. Take away the conniving boss and you got yourself a job. Hmm am I crazy?
Confused,
Hermione
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To: Hermione
From: Harry
You don't mean the Blaise Zabini, do you? Because if you do you are in for a surprise. His partner at his law firm is none other than Malfoy. Yes scum of the earth Malfoy. That job is definitely not right for you.
Concerned,
Harry
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To: Harry
From: Hermione
WHAT? I just was offered the job and I took it. Oh god…..I'm in trouble now.
Hermione
