Sherlock

As he stood up on the ledge, emotions awash his usual cold demeanor, he let himself cry. John couldn't see him from his spot, he couldn't let John see him from there. No, he didn't want John to see him caring, he had to let John watch him leave hating him.

There were so many things that Sherlock wanted to say then, so many rationally illogical things that he wanted to say. He was always cold and harsh and he never really understood why John stuck by him all this time, he used to rationalize it by saying that John missed adventure, that adventure gave him purpose. But no? No, it wasn't adventure that kept John begging that Sherlock not do it. Sherlock's name was disgraced, how could that be adventure?

Mycroft's words rang through his head, caring is not an advantage. No, Big Brother was right. Caring made leaving them, leaving John, harder than ever.

But still.

He had to do it.

He left everything important unsaid as he jumped off that cliff. Hoping that if he came back, maybe he could say those things. Naw. He wouldn't come back.

Maybe he could hide out at Irene's place in America. That would be a lovely idea wouldn't it.

The wind rushed across him as he fell, fell all the way till it all went black as he lost consciousness.

John

That phone call, John was grabbing at straws here, he wanted Sherlock to stay. That inexplicable need for Sherlock to stay, he couldn't explain it. He had never felt that need to make anybody stay before. Even his girlfriends, he never really felt the pain of their leaving. He didn't care, he didn't feel lonely anymore and that's what matters.

He wished he could tell Sherlock that, really did, but Sherlock abhorred emotions like that, it would probably make him disgusting in Sherlock's eyes. No, not the best route if he didn't want Sherlock to jump.

He wanted to say what Sherlock really meant to him. Gave him purpose. That leaving John would mean that he was alone again. That he would never believe that Sherlock lied about all of it. Instead, he told Sherlock that he was damn well clever enough to figure all of this out.

And then Sherlock jumped.

He knew, in that instant, that once again, his life would never be the same again.