AN: So here's an idea while doing some thinking in the shower.. hahaha

anyways, enjoy! :)


The Idea of Us and Happy Ever After


A week after the break up, I was miserable. I was the one who insinuated it but still my heart cracked into half. I really do not want to do it but I have to because it is the right thing to do before we even break each other's heart in the near future. I really do not know what made me sing her a fucking love song and finished it with a freaking break up speech.

I arrived in the auditorium finding some of the members doing different tasks. I was asked by Finn to be a part of the Grease production that he will be directing. Just like doing the laundry, I have two reasons why I wanted to do this. First, to be able to perform once again and second is to be able to see Brittany.

Speaking of Brittany, the first thing I noticed upon entering was her and her smile while talking to Sam Evans. It is good that she is able to smile once again, but it is sad that I am not the one doing it. and whose fault is that, Santana? Seeing her happy with him makes my heart aches. I don't have to feel this way but I can't help but feel that my heart constricting and that I have the difficulty in breathing. And all of a sudden I feel like my world is falling apart right in front of me.

She throws her head back and her arms clutch her sides. She laughs, and that makes the world all sunshine and unicorns once again. Clearly, Sam makes her happy. I wonder if I even made her laugh like that... I wonder if I even made her happy at all. She does not know that I am here looking at her. It looks like her cheery attitude is back unlike what Sugar had told me five days ago. She's noticeably moving on. But, isn't this is what I want? Her being happy, even if it takes my heart to shatter into pieces? I am the one to blame if I'm feeling left out… It is I, who end it after all.

I see that Sam stared at my direction. He was looking at me with something I cannot decipher. It is a mix of worry, distain, apprehension and pity. He didn't say or do anything, he just stood there staring. It seems like Brittany noticed that he spaced out so she looks at the direction Sam was staring at, which is towards me.

She stared and smile at me, but what made me sad is that she gave me a tight-lipped smile and not the dopey-smile-reserved-for-Santana. It's different and something tells me that she still hate me for breaking her heart. I can't even smile at her, it's stupid really. I was hoping that seeing her would make me brave, seeing her again will give me hope to win her back once more.

I love her. Only her. She's my first love; my soul mate. The idea of her and I makes me feel giddy inside. It's like the first time a kid enters the Disneyland and she will have that happy ever after state of mind.

The first time I entered Disneyland makes me think of the fairytales coming to life... that everyone can have all the things they want, if only they believe. As a kid, I thought that Disneyland is my happy ever after. Well, that is until I met her. She made me realized that those moment of bliss Cinderella, Snow White, Tiana and other princesses felt when they found their true love we're not just any other spice of drama in movies or just to make people believe in fiction books. She believed in me like how the frog believed in Tiana's ability. She made me feel like how Belle made Beast felt when she fall in love with him, that despite of the appearance. And she made me feel I'm loved like any other princes did to their princesses.

She walked towards me and smiles timidly.

"Hi..." she said hesitantly.

"Hey." I answered back and just like that we're back to normalcy. But this is not normal. We may say those Hi and Heys but it doesn't mean we are back to us. We are still me and her and it doesn't change the fact that that I broke her heart and that I am still a coward for running away when things go wrong.

"Santana?" She said.

"yeah?"

"I said, can we talk?" she asked. Fuck! I spaced out.

"But we never do that." this feels like deja vu. It's true that we stopped talking after that. I didn't talked to her because I was ashamed that my only reason for declaring an unofficial break-up is because I had an energy exchange with someone other than her. It made me think of the different negative effects that would happen if Brittany learned about the exchange. So, I made a decision, a stupid decision that made our lives turned into a mess.

"Santana?"

"Yeah.. we can." I said. I really do not know what to say to her. I wanted to say sorry, that I love her and that I miss her but I can't seem to find my voice.

She dragged me towards the backstage and we sit at the make believe Grease Lightning. She stared at me, studying my face. I do not know. I dropped my gaze and I feel that my cheeks are burning.

"Look at me." She said.

I do what she said, even if I am not sure what to expect on her expression. And when I looked up. She smiled at me… the smile that only reserved for my eyes are gracing her features.

After a week of not feeling anything but pain, a genuine smile plastered on my face.

"I miss you." She said.

I close my eyes, feeling the words that I've been wishing to hear… and just like that, my world is whole again.