Stewie Meets Chucky
A/N: I've always thought that Stewie seemed similar to Chucky, so I thought that it would be neat to make a story where the two of them meet.
Chapter 1: What the Deuce?
(Family Guy Theme Song Begins)
It seems today
That all you see
Is violence in movies
And sex on TV
But where are those good old-fashioned values?
On which we used to rely?
Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who
Positively can do
All the things that make us…
Laugh and cry
He's a Family Guy…
(Setting: Quahog, Rhode Island; 8:00 pm; Present Day)
Peter Griffin was in the living room watching TV. Lois and Meg were in the kitchen washing dishes. Chris was up in his room running from the evil monkey in his closet. Little baby Stewie was sound asleep in his crib. Or so the Griffins thought…
"Yes, this is it!" he exclaimed. Stewie had an oddly deep voice for a one-year old. "I've perfected the perfect way to kill Lois!" Stewie was speaking to nobody but himself. "First, I'll ask her for a cookie. Then, while she reaches for the jar on the fridge, I pierce through her stomach with a bowie knife! She'll flop dead on the floor, and my first step toward world domination will be complete!"
"Stewie, go to sleep," Lois called. Apparently, she heard him speaking to himself.
Stewie sighed in frustration. "Yes, mother," he reluctantly obeyed. He went to the light switch and tried to turn the lights out. However, he was too short to reach the switch. "Blast," he muttered.
Just then, Brian, the family's white dog entered the room. Brian was rather unusual because he could stand on his hind legs, and he also had an eerie ability to comprehend and speak perfect English. He was just like a human member of the family. "Hey, baby. What's shaking?" he said in his deep voice.
"Get out you mangy dog!" shouted Stewie. "I'm working on yet another plan to eradicate that foul woman from this earth!"
"You mean Lois?" Brian said.
"Who else?" Stewie said.
Brian sighed. "Look, Stewie, you've been trying to kill Lois since birth. Every plan you've tried has ended in disaster. Face it, you need some assistance."
"For once, dog, you may be right. But there are so many evil people on the earth. Who should I choose? Ooh, I know! Saddam Hussein!"
"Saddam Hussein was thrown in jail 2 years ago, remember?" Brian said.
(Flashback: December 2003; Iraq. President Bush is shown pulling Saddam out of the hole Saddam was hiding in. Bush punches Saddam and says, "Where's your weapons of mass destruction, you terrorist?" Saddam says, "Huh?" Flashback ends.)
"That's true," Stewie said. "Wait! Osama Bin Laden!"
Brian said, "Nobody knows where Bin Laden is right now. He could be in Hell now for all we know."
(Cuts to scene in Hell. Bin Laden is there with Satan. Satan says, "Okay, buddy, why were you sent here?" Bin Laden says, "I was a terrorist." There is a brief silence, but then Bin Laden pushes Satan into the Lake of Fire. "Curse you!" shouts Satan. Scene cuts back to Stewie's room.)
"I can see this is going to be more difficult than I imagined," sighed Stewie.
Brian thought for a moment. "Wait just a minute. Why not pair up with someone your own age and size? That would be perfect!"
"Yes," Stewie said, "but who fits those qualifications?"
