Disclaimer: I'm not sure if the people who wrote this stuff have any claim to it anymore but whatever. I don't own Greek Mythology.
I Can't Wait Till 12010:
"Well this stinks." Aphrodite whined. They were on a slow boat to nowhere. Northern Maine to be exact. "Are we even going to have cable there?" She pried. The Titan guards just grunted in response. She sniffed and flipped her long blond curls, "How rude."
"Why don't you stop being so self absorbed and suck it up?" Athena suggested. She was not in a good mood. Probably due to having her butt kicked in the Titan War 2. Their performance had been, to put it kindly, disgraceful.
"Why don't you go like, read or something?" Aphrodite huffed. She didn't want to have to stay somewhere in nature. Especially not with Athena. She was no fun.
Athena rolled her eyes. Aphrodite was such an airhead. It was very annoying how none of the other Olympians were taking this seriously. Apollo was trying to flirt with some pretty mermaids and Demeter looked infuriatingly optimistic. Tree hugger. Zeus and Poseidon were having one of their brotherly arguments. By brotherly she meant stupid. Poseidon was trying to make Zeus seasick.
"I'm rocking the boat! I'm rocking the boat!" Poseidon yelled. Someone else should have been put in charge of the earth's oceans. Having stupid people with sea powers was kind of scary. Who knew what could happen? Take Atlantis for example…
"Curse you!" Zeus shouted.
"You look green. Maybe you need some more rocking to alleviate the symptoms!" Poseidon whooped gleefully.
"…"
"Gross! We need a mop over here!" Poseidon called. Idiots.
When the Olympians finally reached the (random) camp in a (random) forest in Maine they were all at each other's throats. There had been approximately 20 lightning related incidents and Ares had to be put in a straightjacket after he caught Apollo and Aphrodite making out in the bathroom.
After waiting outside the mess hall for ten minutes everyone was getting antsy again. "Are we alone here?" Hermes asked, "Because if we are I'm raiding the refrigerator." If there was anyone stupider than Poseidon it was Hermes. You'd think the god of thieves would have to be smart. His head had probably slammed into a wall safe at some point in his life.
"I'm bored. Who wants to go hunting for poison ivy?" Demeter asked clapping her hands. Unsurprisingly no one raised their hand.
"Actually that would be a great idea. You can line your beds with it!" Said a strikingly familiar voice. Everyone turned, and then blinked. A very tall buff figure wearing a camouflage jacket and hiking boots stood before them.
"Oh, it's you." Hera said snootily. She flipped her mahogany hair cockily.
"You bet it's me! Do think it's funny to force someone to hold up the sky for all eternity!?" Atlas yelled. This was going to be fun. Athena had to give credit to the one who had put a Titan who hated their guts in charge of their camp. Smart move.
"I do! It was my idea!" Hermes laughed. Probably not the best thing to say.
"So I see you've met the camp's enforcer of rules and punishment." Said another really familiar voice. I guy in a lab coat stood in front of them looking intelligent.
"Ooh I know this one! Don't tell me! Don't tell me," Aphrodite squealed. Then her face went blank, "Who are you?"
Athena slapped her forehead, "He's Prometheus you moron!" Prometheus had, unsurprisingly, sided with the other Titans in the second Titan war. You didn't make friends by sicing a vulture after them.
"I knew it!" Aphrodite declared. Athena just shook her head.
"Exactly. I'm the camp director." Prometheus said.
Dionysus elbowed Zeus, "Isn't he that guy you chained to a rock with vultures pecking at his liver?"
Zeus looked nervous, "Don't remind him! Maybe he forgot!"
Prometheus clutched at his torso, "Liver pains! Nurse!" A very pretty Titan girl ran out in a little nurse hat carrying a jar of pills.
Hermes winked at her flirtatiously, "Hey baby. Why don't you come over to my cabin later? We can talk about… stuff." After administering the pain medication the pretty Titaness walked coolly up to Hermes and slapped him.
"You have no idea who I am, do you?" She asked.
"Not really no." He admitted.
"I'm Calypso. That girl you and your buddies imprisoned on an island in the middle of nowhere!" She growled, her beautiful blond hair and full lips didn't look as attractive now.
"Oh that's where I know you from!" Hermes exclaimed. Calypso slapped him again.
Prometheus clapped his hands, "Well anyway you'll all be happy campers for the next 10,000 years! Atlas will now split you up into two teams."
Atlas growled, "Zeus, Hermes, Demeter, Athena, Ares, and Hephaestus are on one team, Poseidon, Aphrodite, Dionysus, Hera, Apollo, and Artemis are on the other. Team number one will now be known as the Fantastic Freaks and team number two is the X-Losers!"
"I want to be a Fantastic Freak!" Aphrodite complained, looking wistfully at Ares.
Apollo put his arm around her, "It's okay baby. You still have Mr. Heatmiser."
Hephaestus lost it, "When will this nightmare end!?' He wailed.
"In 12010." Calypso laughed evilly.
