A/N: Sorry.
Have you ever had a day, where you couldn't get out of bed?
Not for the obvious reasons. Not because you were tired, sick, or had someone there with you.
Have you ever felt so weighed down, so worthless – that you'd be stuck down, into the slowly dirtying covers of your bed?
And have you ever just… Not cared about that?
Issei sat up in his bed after slamming his alarm off. Not even the cheery, bubbly personality on his video alarm-clock could snap him out of his blue.
'Raynare.' He thought, cursing himself for even thinking of that bitch.
She's the one that started all of this. She was the one who baited and murdered him, like he was some gormless trout who'd snagged on the worst hook.
But he was to blame, too.
He'd fallen for it, believed Raynare's lie, and devoted time to her. Cared for her. Even for that brief moment like twilight between his old world and his new one, he'd planned their day…
'That's why it was so… Boring!' Her words echoed in his mind.
He'd gotten her a gift to commemorate their first date.
'Issei! Remember th-this…' He gritted his teeth at her human disguise, internally punishing himself.
'Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. Fucking stupid idiot. How could a girl ever want me?'
She'd gloated about how easy it was to fool him. How fucking gullible he was. He clenched his fists together in an odd manner, tightly rubbing hand flesh against hand flesh. The small amount of pain brought some comfort to him.
Rias wanted him to hand some more flyers out today. Or rather, he wanted to. To gain her favour again, and all that crap. Issei couldn't even muster the energy for his morning pep talk. He threw his head back on his pillows and blinked away two bitter tears.
'What kind of Harem King will I be if I can't entertain my girls… If they won't even… Want me.'
"Issei? That nice Gremory girl is here, and she wants to talk to you!" His mother called out. He fanned his presence out and sensed for Asia.
Shit, she was already gone. What time was it?
At times, the teen felt as if as though death would've been a better alternative to Rias' reincarnation.
To not have to worry about all this supernatural shit. To not have to be indentured for the rest of his life (or unlife, he was unsure about that), even if it was to a beautiful woman such as Rias…
"Tell her I'll be down in a sec, mom. Please don't let her up here." He called to his mother, not wanting to deal with the arousing act the beautiful devil was going to put on for him.
Yes, he couldn't stop thinking of it.
Rias had talked to him about love, life, and both of those in Devildom. He'd dated the woman, amongst others from the Occult Research Club, but he still couldn't trust them.
He couldn't trust himself.
Was it all an act to bend him to their will? Was he being played for a fool, twice around?
No matter what happened on those dates, his subconscious would nag at his heart.
Asia's graceful smile…
'It's a lie. She's pretending.'
He shook his head, trying to disrupt his train of thought.
"Honey? That nice Gremory girl's coming up to your room, just like you asked."
'Oh what the fuck-' He blankly stared up at the girl as she strode into his room, her stride as confident as ever. She smiled at him, and instinctively, he gave one back. The redhead beauty could quickly tell, however, that the boy was troubled.
"Issei? Is there something wrong?" She asked, her voice laced with caring and sweetness, and all that sultry bullshit that the human, Issei Hyoudou, would've loved.
"No… Sorry, Buchou. I'm just feeling a little sick." He lied through his teeth, slowly getting up out of bed. Rias' gaze bored down upon him, and he prepared himself for the morning.
"Is my adorable servant feeling okay? Does he need to-" She began.
"It's fine, Buchou. It's fine. J-just let me get dressed, and I'll be out in a sec." He assured her, unsurely. Rias put a hand on the boy's shoulder, and he slowly shook it off. He turned his gaze away from her, and she stood her ground.
"Issei."
"Yes, Buchou?"
"Call me Rias." She ordered him.
'You're worthy, Issei.' She thought, sensing the boy's despair.
"No." He mumbled, slowly shifting his clothes off.
"Call me Rias." She repeated, calmly.
"N-no." She placed her hand on his cheek to turn him around, but he snapped out of her grip.
"Call me Rias."
'You're not worthy to use my name!' It felt as if Rias' touch burned his skin with those words from Raynare.
"N-no."
She grabbed him again, and hugged him tight. He struggled, struggled, and struggled against her, but the devil's mighty hold was unbreakable.
"Call me Rias, Issei." She implored the teen, stroking his back as he shivered in her embrace.
"R… Rias…" He mumbled, breaking down into tears.
A/N: don't take my advice in relationships i'm an emotionally stunted midget who knows nothing about the real world
if you're in an abusive relationship, get out
you matter
