Fic war is not for the faint of heart...that's all I'm gonna say.


The steel of the glock was ice cold and a million degrees all at the same time as Alex's finger rested against the trigger.

"Nikita, get out of my way." Her voice was hollow, much like the look in her eyes as if she was staring beyond the woman standing in front of her. Ever since Sean, something had short circuited. By then they all knew what had happened. Amanda. But now, standing on the top floor of some crack house, Nikita realized this was worse than what the woman has done to Owen-Sam-whatever he was going by these days. Alex wasn't there anymore, not the Alex she knew. They thought that seeing Sean die would've snapped her out of it, but it did something else. It threw away her humanity, what made her the girl they all knew and loved. She was on a mission, she couldn't hold more than a five minute conversation and frankly seeing her closer to machine than woman was terrifying. Nikita knew she had to snap her out of this before it was too late, before she got herself killed.

"You need to put the gun down, Alex. The girls got out. It's just us now." Her voice was soft, soothing as she moved closer to the blue eyed woman in hopes of getting her to calm down. She was mumbling, something about there being one more somewhere, that they needed to find the last one. "Al. We got them all. Come on. Before their backup comes. I have our exfil but we have to go now. Please." She was pleading now, gun pointing at her be damned.

"No! There's someone left! We have to go back for her...I-I promised that I would go back for her." The hand not holding the gun came up to swipe across her forehead. "Nikki get out of my way. Now. Please, I don't want to hurt you." She was almost sobbing now, her voice breaking as she let out a shaky breath and let her eyes slam shut. "SHUT UP!" She screamed to no one in particular, causing the older woman's eyes to widen and jump back.

Her hands went up, a few steps between them now as she nodded. "We need to get you help, Alex. Whatever Amanda did to you, it's backfiring...come on, you can get a hold of it. You're stronger than this!"

Blue eyes snapped open as she stares widely, the hammer cocking back and a bullet leaving the chamber. Nikita had been shot before, but it wasn't the bullet that hurt her this time. No, it was the same feeling she had in that warehouse when Alex pulled the trigger on her, even if it wasn't the girl's fault. She dropped and heard a yell, vaguely aware that it was Michael as she hit the ground and her eyes drifted closed. Another shot was fired but she didn't feel that one, she only heard it as everything went black and she heard Alex scream moments later.


Michael sat in the room, eyes blurry as he stared at the ring in his hand. Had medical been staffed, Nikita would still be alive. He had gotten Alex down with a clean shot to the shoulder and she was resting in the bed in front of him now. Her brainwaves seemed to be back to normal, whatever Birkhoff had worked out seemed to be the key to breaking Amanda's hold.

He wanted to hate the girl, he wanted to hate her so much. He wanted to unload an entire clip into her head but he realized that as soon as she woke up, and he told her what she had done...his head dropped into his hands. There would be no stopping her, no matter how many ways they told her that she had no control over what had happened. She was going to blame herself for what happened even if it was Amanda who was to blame. He'd allow himself the next few hours to mourn until she woke up, and the he'd sign her death warrant with three simple words.


"You killed Nikita." The words still laid heavy on her chest as she sat in the destroyed loft where it had all begun. A little bit of digging around had a bottle of painkillers in her hand. She wasn't entirely sure how she had gotten here, maybe it was just instinct. The only place that ever felt safe after her Papa died.

They tried to explain to her that it was Amanda's mind games that had put that gun in her hand, that it was her chair that had put the thoughts in her head. She didn't buy it though, how could she? Sam was responsible for his actions, why was she any different? She could see what she was doing, she wasn't strong enough to stop it. She was never as strong as Nikita had been.

"You were my strength." Alex muttered to the picture laying in her other hand. A quick flick of her thumb had the cap of the pill bottle off and with a deep breath she emptied the contents into her mouth and swallowed them dry. She didn't bother counting, they would do the trick. Fighting the pull was useless. Instead she kept her focus on the picture of the two of them grasped tightly in her other hand until tear filled blue eyes fell closed for the last time.


They found her an hour after her chip went off line, picture of her and Nikita laying at her side with the empty pill bottle on the other side. That day the rest of the team made a vow. They would end Amanda if it was the last thing they ever did, a promise to the women who had started it all.