Living in doubt

Chapter one

Diclaimer: I own nothing

Before Practice

I wish I could say this summer has been all I hoped for and more, but I dare not lie, not even to myself. I know the world has problems, I'm not such a fool that I'd try to hide that fact, but right now I am so immersed in my own dealings I can't help but drown myself in self-pity.

I wish I had my brothers and sisters here, I know they would kick me out of this mood I always seem to linger in. And to be truthful its not that bad, sulking I mean. I hate how everyone sees me as tough and brave, as if a little pain wouldn't even effect me in the least. Boy how they are wrong.

I love my neighbors, they're all to happy to help, but help is not what I need, time is what I need. Time or something to speed it up so that I am moving so fast nothing can stop me. Moving so fast nothing can touch me, nothing would be crazy enough to try and slow me down. But I find myself daydreaming again, and Goodwin tells me that daydreaming are for the fickle lasses in Unicorn District. I am not so vain as to think of myself as one of them.

They call me a terrier because I never let go, but when this term began to take on a figurative meaning, well that's when I realized I had hit an all time low. No repectable Dog would sit and mope about something, well something so stupid, even the Lower City beggers would turn up their noses at me. Ok maybe I am being dramatic again, but I am tired of chiding myself for what can't be helped.

Today has passed much like the other days of my life, we had a uneventful morning as usual. Pounce shall now be called Mr. Looby, because of the fact that he got me up extra early this morning, just because he was hungry!

Some constellation, I mean really who ever heard of a star needing food! Mean old fat cat, I hope he can read this, it'll do him good!

I walked around town this morning as well, but again that was uneventful, or maybe I was just stirred up in my own affairs, that I ignored all that was going on around me. No, I always pay attenion, after all being a Dog is my life, and I will not screw it up. Well at least intentionally.

The murder rate is as low as it ever is in the Cesspool which is a blessing in itself.

Oh I forgot to mention, only last week I was initated into a Dog. Now that my Puppy days are over, I do believe I am relieved, of course living above the Rogue has it's pros, but more then that, it has its cons. Rosto can never keep his trap shut for more then a minute.

Rosto the Piper, if I could I would kill him. The again I would have to deal with the body, and the blood, and altogether it would be too much trouble. And he dosent deserve that much fuss, or at least that's what I keep telling myself. It helps me restrain myself, you see.

Ok so maybe I don't want him dead, but life would be a whole lot eaiser without him on my case. I don't know why I even care, its not like I'm in love with that sneaky cove. Ah of course not that is completely looby! I mean who but a desperate mot would fall for him? Ok so maybe not desperate, Aniki and Kora weren't desperate, but at least Kora regained her better sense. I do believe Aniki is still in the process of recovering hers.

I swear, love him! Now that is a big jest right there, I might even share that with Mr. Looby, well if I wasent ignoring him at the moment.

Ok well I think I'm done with my amusing myself for now, after all I tend to be thinking utterly ridiculous thoughts, which only means I am becoming delusional. I will write again when something worth while happens, though since I am in one of my moods, I might write more just to vent.

Ok this is my first fanfic via Beka Cooper, so please be gentle with the grading, I tried my best to put it in journal form, sorry if I slipped up a couple of times, I'll not be posting direct dates since I don't want to mess up whatever timeline Mrs. Pierce has going for Bloodhound… Thanks for reading!