Title: Surrender
Summary: Vignette. Kaoru said something that made Hikaru cry. HikaKao
Disclaimer: Bisco Hatori owns Ouran Kokou Host Club.
Kryz-Chan's CORNER: Honestly, Kryz-Chan does not like this story so you could hate it too. She only wrote this to stop her dreams from bugging her. It might seem broad and confusing; she's sorry for that. Though, she tried her hardest to decrypt her weird HikaKao dreams. COMMENTS and CRITICISM is a must!
…
I love her but—
I love you more…
…Knowing that she's the most important person in your life now…
Kind of hurts…
But—
Your happiness is mine; and this is the best thing to do.
Hikaru, brother…
I love you.
I really, really love you, so—
I'll do this for you…
Because…
I-
Love you…
I really do…
…
Kaoru ran after her; his amber eyes shining with something sparkly and warm. He was doing something repulsive, but he wouldn't mind as long as Hikaru would stay happy…
He wouldn't mind the sacrifice. He wouldn't mind doing something for someone out of their world; because he knows that it is for the best.
It's for Hikaru.
Because, Kaoru believes that he existed to make Hikaru happy. That's why he'll do anything for his happiness, anything for his laughter…anything in trade of those saccharine smiles that makes him so alive.
He does everything for Hikaru because; he believes that Hikaru deserves the best.
Only the best…
Only the best…
Kaoru took hold of Haruhi's wrist; her eyes were confused, scared, shocked. She couldn't protest; her body was nimble and numb. She didn't know what was happening. But, the smile Kaoru was giving her is different from his usual nonchalant smiles.
He has this smile of pure bliss and contentment. He seemed so free-willed and decided.
It is as if, he is saying…
Saying…
Saying Goodbye?
It's just Haruhi's feelings; though the thought was haunting her. And it's scaring her bit by bit, because she was scared of losing a friend, not a friend but a family. Kaoru is family. She doesn't want to lose anybody that she loves. She doesn't want to; because it hurts. Losing someone important is a scar that will taint her till the day she is living. And-- she doesn't want to feel it again, not ever.
She doesn't want to make Hikaru feel the hardness of losing a love one, because she loves him so. She doesn't want to make Hikaru feel, the burden she felt when—she lost her mother. She doesn't want that, because Hikaru will die of pain.
Because Hikaru could never be Hikaru without Kaoru; Kaoru, as Hikaru believed, is his needed identity to become a true living entity.
What is the purpose of a living, if you're half empty?
Haruhi wanted to hold on to the Kaoru, and ask him what was wrong. Yet, time seemed to settle down on them. He pulled her to him; his soft, docile voice was whispering so soothingly in her ear, like the breeze in autumn. He was saying something, something important…
Something really, really, important…
"…Haruhi" He chuckled a bit as he called her name; his face was carefree and sardonic, while Haruhi just stared at him with eyes of deep worry and concern.
"I love you…" He whispered to her ear; his voice making her knees tremble as he pulled her closer.
"…But"
Kaoru then, suddenly pushed Haruhi away; she was an inch, a millimeter then a meter away from…
Danger…
Pain…
Death…
He looked at her with a smile of absolute acceptance, while words of utter truth and desire escaped his lips for the last time.
"I love Hikaru more…"
Haruhi looked at him, while time seemed to move slowly. She read his words so coherently. And then—
"…KAORU!"
Haruhi fell on to the floor. She didn't know what had happened next but— a loud tantalizing scream made her heart stop pulsing, and her eyes started to form driblets of lukewarm substances. She didn't move. She just stared at the floor, images flashing in her mind. The thought of what was happening started to register, and it hurts.
"K-Kaoru…" She choked; her eyes filled with tears and sadness.
For the first time, Haruhi Fujioka was crying…
Crying, because…
Kaoru is…
Kaoru is…
…
He could see vague cascading lights, dancing beyond his reach. He could hear query voices whispering, talking but, it started to blur and fade, the lights, the voices…his face. Kaoru knew that Hikaru was there. He heard his voice, screaming, shouting, crying…
But he couldn't hear it clearly, because everything seemed to just disappear. Everything was perishing and leaving him.
He felt so alone.
Though, it was a nice voice; his brother has the nicest voice. It makes him want to sleep. He was feeling sleepy after all, and he just seemed to grow tired of every second.
He knew something had hit him; but still theirs no pain.
The only thing he could feel now is the fading hard pressure that hit his body, and the flowing of moist liquid in his skin. He barely heard some crack from his bones, only the pressure and Hikaru's scream retained in his fuzzy mind.
Yet still, theirs no pain…only sadness, because everything is turning vague and fading so fast. And he could almost feel his breathing coming to a stop, even his—
Tug Dug, Tug Dug, Tug Dug…..
Heart…
…
Hikaru traced the embroidery of the casket, where his brother lays asleep. Everyone was crying, mourning…
But he couldn't shed a single tear.
It's not that he didn't want to. He just felt angry, rather than sad; because of all the people who would go and leave in his life. It had to be Kaoru.
It had to be his half.
"Kaoru, Why…?" Hikaru wisped in a soft whisper.
Hikaru moved away from the crowd, as they lowered his brother's sleeping form. He didn't want to see it. Just because, it would make everything harder; it would make everything unclear and unanswered.
He wanted to know the reason of his brother's actions.
He needed to know, why—
He saved Haruhi and died for her sake.
Why?
"…Hikaru"
Haruhi walked towards the boy, who was now sitting all alone, under the persimmon tree. He was obviously avoiding her, and he should but somehow…
She needs to tell Hikaru of the simple message that Kaoru had left to her. Because, she felt like it's her obligation to tell him what the other was thinking during that time.
He must know what his brother has confessed, and maybe he'll forgive him because, what Kaoru did was for his sake. He believed that it was the right thing to do. He believed that if he saved Haruhi, Hikaru would be happy.
Because he thought that Hikaru loved Haruhi, but in fact—
"Let me be…"
"H-Hikaru, listen to me."
"J-Just Shut Up!" Hikaru stated angrily. He was looking at the girl with deep hate, while the other just gave him a soft and gentle smile. She walked towards him and held his hands that were shaking quivering…
"…Listen to me, because Kaoru wants you too."
"What do you mean?"
"Hikaru, Kaoru told me something before the accident…" Haruhi looked into Hikaru's deep amber eyes, and gripped on to his hands, tighter, tighter.
"……"
"He told me; he loved me, but"
"B-but?"
"…he told me that—
Haruhi loosened her grip on Hikaru's hand and turned her back away from Hikaru, while Hikaru looked at her, a bit startled from her actions.
Haruhi turned her to the side and looked at Hikaru with a sad smile.
--he loves you"
Hikaru loved Kaoru, all along…
Hikaru covered his mouth as realization drowned into his whole body, while tears slowly formed on his pale, red cheeks. The tears that he couldn't shed when his brother died, was now being shed.
Just because, the tiny pieces of the puzzle was being solved.
The answer he needed was there all along.
Kaoru did what he did in trade of his happiness. But ironically, he shouldn't have; because he should have known far better than that…
Because how could Hikaru give his heart to another?
…When he had given his heart from the first day he was born.
He had given his heart to the very person who came three minutes late…
…Who was now sleeping with his heart on the grave.
END.
Kryz-Chan's Last Notes: I hate it! Damn Dream!
