A/N: So here it is, my first RusAme story! It is strongly influenced by the song Cold War Transmissions by Anberlin. I took some liberties with it so I'm well aware it's not perfect.
More then likely there will be a second part written that focuses more on Ivan's side of the story.
I do not own any of the characters
Reviews are welcomed and appreciated.
Alfred runs, securing what he and his troops had been sent behind enemy lines to protect over his shoulder even as the sound of the alarm blares in the background. His boots make a crunching noise over the thin layer of snow beneath him for every step he takes, the distinct chill that resides in the air settling deeply in his bones. He barely takes notice, generating minimal heat as he keeps his body moving, his gait somewhat quicker than a jog as he takes a quick glance back to count his remaining soldiers.
Eighteen. Eighteen men is what he had left tailing behind him, yelling as the enemy was about to open fire. He had started this mission to retrieve stolen American technology from a small Military fort on the Russian countryside with thirty, some of them veterans, others fresh recruits. He gave a quick prayer to them and the fallen few as he tightened his hold on the briefcase he was holding over his shoulder as the sight of a forest soon came into view. He yelled for his men to take cover in it as gunshots started echoing through the air, the sound of body's crashing to the snow only fueling the remaining to get them moving quicker. Alfred gave a grunt of aggravation as he grabbed a hold of the withered bark on the nearest tree. He used his momentum to swing himself around and grabbed the soldier who had managed to keep up with him this whole time as the others soon joined, spreading out their ranks among the shelter the dead trees gave.
"Sir?" The soldier quipped, his helmet nearly obscuring the fern green eyes blinking at him in confusion, but they had a determined shine to them. He was young, way too young to be in this kind of situation.
Alfred moved quickly, snapping open the briefcase as he dropped his cargo bag on the ground, yanking it open and spilling out its contents, one of which looked like a Russian made radio. He made careful work of grabbing the item of question from the briefcase and transferring it to his bag, while he dropped the radio into the briefcase. He closed it with his foot, and then handed his bag to the soldier. "Take this. Run and don't dare look back. You know where this needs to go, get it there. Now move." He ordered, giving the man a shove. The man nodded, taking off and disappearing amongst the many trees. Alfred watched him go for as long as he could, at least until he heard the advancing footsteps of the Russians. He gave a slight huff of air as he grabbed the briefcase and slung it back over his shoulder, hooking it across the harness so that he could use both of his hands freely.
He crouched, pressing his back against the tree as he dug out his handgun from his belt. He heard gunfire off in the distance, in some deeper part of the forest. He paid it little mind as a large black coat came into view, and Alfred took aim.
Bang.
One down. He could hear shouts and footsteps colliding with the snow, and Alfred knew he needed to move. He stood and ran, stopping every once while to hide behind a tree before moving on. He was making good progress, managing to avoid two or three of the bastards as they passed by. He slid his left foot back, unaware of the raised root from the tree behind him as he prepared to book it again. He turned, his boot getting caught underneath it as the sudden force that paused his momentum threw him off balance, tripping him and twisting his leg at a odd angle as he fell.
His face was met with snow, the powder sticking to his face briefly before it melted away under his heated flesh as he cursed, turning on his side as he attempted to wrestle his foot free. It hurt, a sort of searing pain that spread along his ankle, and Alfred cursed himself for not paying more attention. He slid his foot out from under the thick root, putting pressure on the area to gauge the damage.
Voices.
The voices from earlier were returning, and Alfred wandered if God was having a good laugh at him. He grit out a rough "Fuck." as he dragged his body along with his arms, crawling towards the next tree. Upon reaching it, he was surprised when the ground gave way and he tumbled down into a ravine, his upper body meeting the ground below before his lower did.
"Sonuvabitch." He growled, picking himself off the ground as the voices came closer. He wouldn't be able to climb out with his foot injured like it was, not without being caught. He weighed his options, and chose to press his body up against the ravine wall, the small gorge offering a temporary hiding place as the tree over top loomed over him.
"Нашли что-нибудь?"
"Нет, сэр!"
"a затем перейти на восток, мы найдем эти американские свиней , так или иначе " .
Alfred listened with bated breath, his handgun clenched tightly in his palms as the voices wavered, traveling along the ravine. They must have been just up ahead, and Alfred prayed to God that they wouldn't take the time to search the current area thoroughly.
'But even if they did…' He thought, a faint smirk pulling at his lips as he felt the weight of the briefcase weighing down his shoulders. 'It'd be a lost cause for them. Losers.'
It seemed God had answered his prayers, as Alfred could no longer hear their voices or footsteps any more. Alfred let out an exasperated sigh, leaning his head back against the dirt wall of the ravine, his helmet making a dull thud against it. Sky blue eyes closed for a moment, breathing in the cold hair that stung his lungs. Reaching a gloved hand up to grab at the strap under his chin, he unhooked his helmet strap and let it tumble off his head, feeling it was too ran a hand though his disheveled, wheat colored locks as he opened his eyes to look towards the darkening sky. It would be night soon, and Alfred didn't think he'd have the strength to make the journey through the forest when the evening chill would descend upon the forest. 'I'm either gonna be found out by those bastards or freeze to death at this rate. This sucks…'
He gave a throaty chuckle at his predicament as he tossed the decoy briefcase off his shoulders, letting it rest beside him. He then finally took notice that his glasses were cracked, the glass shattered near the corner. He slid them off with a huff, folding them and placing them in his coat pocket. He then holstered his pistol, his hand brushing the briefcase in the process. He paused, staring at it for a moment before he snapped it open, revealing the radio inside.
He stared at it for a moment, reaching out to run a hand along the Russian radio. "That's' right….This was 'your' gift to me even though you never answer me." He mused out loud, grabbing it and dragging it into his lap. It was hefty, and Alfred wondered why he had brought it with them for the mission, more than likely being the reason he had been so weighed down. He then chuckled at the thought. "More like held down eh? Just like you used to do."
A memory flashed to life before his eyes.
"Ivan dude, I have to get up and get dressed. I'm going to be late and I'd like to not get bitched at by my boss for once." Alfred groaned, attempting to wrestle his way out of his lover's hold.
" Неt, я хочу , чтобы держать вас до сих пор..Five more minutes…" His larger lover whined, arms bringing the American closer to him.
"Jeez you sound like a brat. Let go of me you ass!" Alfred grunted, grabbing Ivan's arms and trying to untangle himself from them.
"Make me little American." Ivan's Russian accented voice breathed into his ear, before he felt Ivan press a kiss to the side of his head, a soft smile crossing his features.
Alfred smirked, flipping the machine on. It whirred to life with a buzz of static, vibrating in his lap as he fiddled with the dials. He set it to a certain station, one his former lover had revealed to him so that he could talk in secret when they were away from one another. The static died down to a low hum, and Alfred took the chance to clear his throat.
"Uh hey. It's me you asshole. It's been a while since I tried this out, even though I know you'll never answer me anymore." His only response was the soft hum of static.
"Hey just to let you know you won't get away with this. Like any hero I came to get what you stole and succeeded, so looks like you lose." He gave a rough chuckle, shifting the radio so that it wasn't as uncomfortable sitting on his lap. "Anyway I'm only doing this as closure for me, because we really never had a final talk or goodbye or anything cheesy like that." The American soldier frowned, rubbing the back of his neck. "It was so sudden you know. You just came in looking super fucking serious and said it was done. And then you left. And then the next day I figured out what was going on. That was years ago though, but it still bugs me." With a belated sigh, Alfred looked back to the sky, searching for any appearing stars. "I've had time to get over it, I mean it still kind of hurts but that's life. It taught me a pretty good lesson. Russians are assholes."
Alfred laughed at his joke, eyes blinking sleepily as he counted the stars visible to him. "I mean really. You made promises you'd never keep. You said we'd be together til the ends of our days. Your words exact. You said we'd finish our duties and buy a nice house together, with a room with a glass ceiling so we could watch the stars. You said you'd be there whenever I need you…But they were all lies weren't they? Were you really just a spy for a mission? Did all of those years together mean nothing for you? You seemed so content in those days. But I learned my lesson, really. But I'll tell you I was honest, I was really happy being with you. Guess you couldn't say the same."
Alfred felt warmth gather at the corners of his eyes, and he reached up and dug his palms into his eyes, pressing away the tears that had attempted to spill forth. He was done crying over him.
"Did you ever think about going to space when you were younger?" Alfred asked, nuzzling into his lover's warm chest as the two sat outside. He was seated in between the Russian's legs, his back pressed to his chest with Ivan's arms wrapped around him.
"Hmm sometimes. I always adored looking up at the night sky back in my hometown, how the great black of night was so different from the constant sheets of snow my home was buried in." Ivan admitted, resting his chin on top of Alfred's head. "I thought how wide and great it must be, unexplored. Somewhere one could escape to."
"Yeah. When I was little I actually thought it was kind of scary, how it seemed so endless. But you know, even if it's endless and a bit scary, it's big enough to go wherever you want." Alfred laughed, resting his hand on top of Ivan's.
"Hey, think when you get back we can start looking at houses. I want one where we can see the sky!"
"We shall see. Perhaps one with a glass ceiling? There was a building at my hometown where the study had a completely glass archway."
"That sounds so cool!"
"Indeed."
Alfred shivered, using his free hand to rub his arm, the cold settling over him like a blanket, seeping in beneath his skin and freezing his bones in place. His limbs felt stiff and heavy, the stinging pain of the frost now ebbing away to numbness. "It's so cold here Ivan. I think I kind of understand what you were always telling me about Russia now. It's not just the cold, its the feeling of loneliness it brings with it. Is this how it always was for you?" A bitter smile painted his feature as his eyelids fluttered close. He felt numb, and so, so tired. "I'm tired now Ivan. Really tired. See you on the other side…" Eyes that reflected the sky and ocean that the Russian told him he so loved eased themselves closed.
Alfred let out a long exhale as Ivan collapsed on top of him, grunting at the sudden weight he now had to bear. He could feel the results of their love making start to drip down his thigh, and he grimaced. He tossed the thought aside however, as the Russian then hefted himself up to look at him, beige colored hair framing his face as tufts of it stuck out of place. He was given a satisfied smile, and he felt the other male's hands rub along his shoulders, trailing up over his arms until they reached his hands, where he engulfed them with his own.
The American gave a content hum, intertwining their digits together as he leaned up for a kiss. He was not refused as he felt his lover's lips press against his own. It was a soft gesture, slow and with just enough pressure to know that the other was there, where they could just feel each other and bask in one another's presence.
Ivan was the first to pull away, gazing down at Alfred with such a odd expression that Alfred tilted his head in question. He still looked content, but his features hinted with a grim seriousness that Alfred was almost afraid he had done something wrong. That was until Ivan let a quiet sentence pass through his lips.
"я люблю тебя."
Alfred blinked a few times, not understanding what was said to him. He felt a bit relieved when the Russian then gave him such a heart warming smile that he ended up reflecting it back.
"Don't know what you said big guy, but I love ya'."
Being stirred awake, Alfred wasn't sure how long he had sat there, trapped in the ravine with snow slowly piling on top of him. He couldn't really feel his limbs anymore, but he was aware that there was pressure being put on him. There was pressure on his face, his arms, his chest, something pressing against these areas persistently. When he was able to get a firmer grasp on reality, he realized they were hands.
Cerulean eyes fluttered open, squinting as a large figure came into his immediate view. With time, he was able to make out features, a nose, a mouth that was moving, a long pale scarf that almost seemed familiar.
When the world started to become cleared with focus, Alfred found himself staring at a man he thought he would never have the chance to see again. He felt one of the other's gloved hands grip his chin and tilt his head side to side before they leaned in, and this time Alfred was able to make out the words being said.
"Alfred…"
The American opened his mouth, voice coming out a bit ragged. "I-Iv…Ivan?"
The Russian smiled, hands cupping Alfred's cheeks as his thumbs rubbed soothing circles against them. Alfred could feel it now, the pressure and the heat that was started to seep into his skin. "Да . It is me Солнечный свет." He murmured, the words sounding so gentle easing from his lips. Alfred gave a whine, shaking his hands to get the other male to release him.
"N-No. Go away…You can't…Be here…" He hissed, attempting to draw his legs up to his chest, the radio falling out of his lap due to the movement. He tried to bring his hands up, to push away the other, to shield himself, to do something. He found he couldn't and he closed his eyes when he felt the Russian scoot closer.
"Shhhh, don't fuss." Ivan soothed, bringing his hand back to Alfred's face as he caressed the chilled flesh. He slid it up to slink it into the American's hair, gently stroking the locks.
Alfred didn't understand. He couldn't grasp the fact that the man who left him so many years ago, having been revealed to be a Russian spy of all things, the same man was before him, and it was as if nothing had changed. Alfred had always imagined upon meeting him again, he would have lost that gentle exterior of his. That he would face the stereotypical bad guy Russian, all smirks and scathing remarks, voice deep and low with malicious intent as he would claim he never loved Alfred to begin with. Essentially he pictured what he had always been afraid of about the Russian coming true.
But that wasn't the case, didn't seem like it as he felt the same gentle touches, heard the same soft words uttered to him. He stared at the man before him, confused on how he could look and act the same when they had been together.
He watched as Ivan began unbuttoning his coat, the same one he wore the day he told Alfred farewell. A thick, black uniform came into view as Ivan pulled his tan coat open, and Alfred let out a groan when Ivan's arms outstretched towards him, large hands clasping around his thighs as he was dragged and lifted up to settle into the other man's lap, finding himself being pressed against Ivan's chest as the coat was wrapped around him. Alfred tensed when those large hands began rubbing over different parts of his body, over his thighs, his back, his shoulders and chest. It took a moment to figure out what Ivan was doing, as he realized the warmth from his actions had started overpowering the chill, chasing away the numbness and bringing his limbs back to life with feeling. He heard a dull thunk as Ivan then shifted, adjusting his position so that it was more comfortable for them both. He glanced at what had made the noise, and spied the briefcase, snapped closed. He felt his body tremble as it was becoming more responsive.
"Aren't you gonna take that?" He questioned, finding he hardly had any strength left to try and fight Ivan at the moment, letting his chin rest against Ivan's broad shoulder.
"Hmmm?" The Russian hummed, almost as if he was considering something, before he let out a childish giggle, his chest rumbling with the noise. "No. It is not important."
Alfred managed to pull himself away enough to look at Ivan incredulously. "Bullshit. That's what you and your team snatched from under the radar on our front end." Alfred recalled, bringing his hands up to rest on Ivan's shoulders to balance himself.
"That is true yes. But it was not really important to me. Just something as an incentive to get you here." Ivan chuckled, looping his arms around the American's waist to keep him in place.
"Are you shitting me?! Are you telling me that you lured me in with a decoy?!" Alfred hissed, managing to bring a flaring glare from his limited focus, directing it at the Russian. If what he said was true then…
"да."
Alfred sneered, pulling back one of his hands to ball it into a fist and struck the Russian's chest, anger flaring and warming his chest. "You bastard. Y-You…So my men…"
"Yes sadly. They were meaningless casualties. Such a shame." Ivan sighed, bringing one of his own hands to snatch Alfred's wrist and used it to pull him back against his chest. His other hand started rubbing along the American's back, hoping to placate him.
"You fucking-"
"Shhhhh I know." He giggled, cutting Alfred off as he pressed his face into the crook of Alfred's neck, inhaling the crisp, almost spice-like scent that seemed to belong solely to his American. "It's okay, it's because I'm cruel…"
Alfred let his body slump forward, having used what little strength he had gathered to strike at the Russian. The exhaustion, coupled with the warmth that was flooding his body due to Ivan's body heat was tugging at his conscience, beckoning him to give in and let him slip into oblivion.
"Why?" He rasped, not understanding why Ivan would pull a stunt like this.
"Because silly, I wanted to see you. And this war will soon be coming to an end. Surely you knew that it would not last forever. Mikhail Gorbachev has assumed power of the Soviet Union, so change will be inevitable." Ivan explained, releasing Alfred's wrist so that he could sink his hand into Alfred's hair, running his fingers through the strands lovingly. "I would not risk your life like this otherwise." He added as an afterthought.
Alfred remained quiet, soaking in the information. The war was ending? Soon? Was it really?
"I was listening. To the radio I mean. I've always listened actually, whenever you would use that station." Ivan quipped, smiling as he thought of the many things the American had revealed and asked through those precious transmissions. "I always longed to answer you back, but it might have put you in danger."
"Every time?" Alfred finally asked after a long silence, having decided to push everything about his precarious situation to the corner of his mind for now, feeling too tired to try and ingest all the new information.
"Every time." Ivan confirmed, lifting his head to trail his lips across Alfred's cheek. "And no, it was not a lie. Being with you. Those experiences were honest, and I really did love you." Ivan paused, before using both his arms to encircle Alfred and more or less crush him to his chest. "Correction. I really do love you."
"Why…Should I believe you?…Who says I…Want you back you asshole." Alfred huffed. It was just…too soon. Too soon for him to believe those words. Maybe in time, maybe when this war was actually over. Maybe…
"I know what you are thinking. It is alright. I do not blame you, you need time. But it is the truth, and I won't allow you to go so easily. But I will wait…In the meantime…"
Alfred's eyes widened when he felt Ivan's hands hook under the back of his knees, lifting him up so that the Russian could pull his legs out from under him and stand, lifting Alfred up along with him. "W-What are you doing?!"
"It is in the dead of night. Do not fret, I have sent my troops off. I have a cabin a little ways off from here, and that's where we shall go." Ivan explained, shifting Alfred so that he was holding him like a bride. "I won't be able to get you over the border safely until morning, so you will be spending the night with me. Lucky for you, it's been such a long time that I'm in the mood to spoil you." Ivan giggled, holding Alfred close as he began walking, making his way towards the end of the small ravine where it sloped down, enough where Ivan could walk his way out of.
Alfred gripped onto Ivan's coat, trying to take in the forthcoming situation. "You're really…helping me?"
"Of course. I said so didn't I? You may not believe it but I've always been in the background, pulling a few strings here and there to ensure you were kept as safe as you could be."
"Aren't you a saint." Alfred grumbled, feeling his eyes start to flutter close. Deciding he would take advantage of the situation, Alfred curled against Ivan. He basked in the moment, letting himself relax as much as he could as they stalked their way through the forest, the only noise being Ivan's footsteps crunching the snow beneath him. The two remained silent, at least until Alfred decide to break it, knowing that he was seconds away from falling asleep. "I…Missed you…So damn much Ivan."
Alfred was faintly aware of Ivan lifting him up a bit more, feeling cool lips press against the top of his head. "I know. I missed you too Sunshine. Rest now. I'll be there when you wake up." A pause. "I love you."
"You fucking better be…I.."He still couldn't bring himself to utter that sentence, to return the sentiment. Not just yet. It was one of Alfred's last thoughts before he surrendered himself to the persistent tug of sleep, cradled in the arms of his enemy lover.
I hope
You still mean
Those same words
When I wake up
Ivan
