Happy Little Vegemites --- by Tulzdavampslayer
Just in case you were unsure, I do not own the rights to Harry Potter or Vegemite.
Another very important point: Vegemite is a spread-type thing. I am not actually sure what's in it. But it's pretty good for you. It's an Australian thing. sniffs you wouldn't understand! nah. You're on the internet, look it up. It was originally gonna be Peanut Butter, but I thought Vegemite was even more Muggly than that, so yeah.
oh, and this is a Draco/Ginny fic. If you're really lucky, there'll be a sequel. Or more than one chapter. That's really up to you. Review and tell me if it's any good and whether you think it has the possibility of continuing!
when you see this symbol:
DDDVGVDVDDD - it means that this section is from Draco's POV
GGGVGVDVGGG - is from Ginny's POV
VGVDV - is not in the 1st person. it's in that... other... person. look I can't remember. lol. yes i suck. these sections are also written in the past tense. the sections from draco or ginny's POV are all present tense, which makes sense coz it's usually just their thoughts and stuff. so yeah.
Sorry? What was that? Oh. You wanna get the story now... ok ok, gimme a break guys...
...
ok break's over. here's your fic:
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In retrospect, it was a bad idea. But really, in retrospect, all ideas are bad ones. Well maybe not. The guy who invented Vegemite is probably pretty happy. That Muggle is probably rolling in it. Money, that is. Not the Vegemite. Because, well, yuk. It tastes good and all, but it's all sticky, and black, and... yeah. But, you know, Muggles can be weird. Hmm. Now actually, when I think about it... I've got a few ideas... a jar of black muggly goodness, a certain redhead... hmm. there's a way I haven't tried eating it.
But anyway, back to my point. It was a bad idea. Like so many bad ideas, it was actually really stupid, but seemed like it would be a lot of fun. Sort of like this new plan I have with the smearing and the licking and the... ahem.
So my point. You wanted to know how this whole mess came about. I should tell you, it's actually pretty stupid. It all started - now don't give me that look, there's no other way I can put it. It did all start then. Really. I hadn't even given thought to the bloody girl before. Well, I suppose that's not true. I'd noticed her. I'd fought her. And on occasion, I'd been threatened by her. But I'd never exactly thought of her as female, if you know what I mean. Anyway. It all started - don't say a word - on the Hogwarts Express at the beginning of the year...
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Oh crap. I knew it. There's never any empty compartments. I'm always late. Blast it. Blast, blast, blast. I love that word. hehe. Blast. Ok, feeling better now.
Now, whose compartment to sneak into today... Ron's? Bleh. No thanks. Way too much sexual tension in that little room for one girl. Plus, Harry might start hitting on me again, and I just don't feel like putting up with that. Luna's? Bleh. She'll have Colin or Dennis fawning. No more of that twisted little tale, thank you very much. Maybe I'll just sit here. Hmm...
Now, what did I do with those sandwiches... ah, there they are... oh, the glory of Vegemite...
Ah shite, somebody's coming...
DDDVGVDVDDD
Crap. No empty rooms. As usual. Merlin, I can't believe how late I was today. I could've missed the train! Bloody mother and her paranoid schizophrenia. If she'd just take the potion the Healer gave her... ah well. No use fretting about that one. Right now, I should be fretting about finding some empty space.
Crabbe and Goyle aren't around anywhere. That's weird. Normally they'd be waiting for me somewhere. hmm. Maybe Pansy and Millicent had a better offer than my company. Like, I dunno, food or something. Those boys like their food. I really don't know what those girls see in them. Maybe money. Or dependability. heh. Ah well. Empty space.
Maybe the next carriage'll have some 1st years I can bully out their compartment out. Or at least their food. I'm hungry.
VGVDV
"Bugger off, Malfoy."
Draco's mouth widened in feigned shock. "Why Weasley, I'm shocked. Shocked and stunned that you'd treat a fellow student like that! All I've done is enter a carriage, and I'm being told to bugger off. Harsh, Weasley, harsh."
Ginny rolled her eyes. "What do you want?"
"A seat. Are they charging for them this year?"
"Sorry?"
Draco smirked. "You're out here. Don't tell me the mighty Potty Scarhead didn't bring enough of his millions to buy his girlfriend a seat on the train."
Ginny ignored him and took a bite out of her sandwich. This threw Draco off, as he was expecting a witty retort, or at least a hex of some description. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you denying any of that."
She shrugged. "Why should I?"
For the lack of anything better to do, Draco sat himself down next to the Weasley girl. "So he is your boyfriend now?"
"Nope. And never will be if anybody lets me have a say in it." Another bite of the sandwich.
"Good."
Ginny choked.
When she had her breath back, she stammered out a very poignant question. "Why?"
Now it was Malfoy's turn to shrug. "Well, I wouldn't leave my girlfriend out in the passage while I had a secret meeting with the Weasel and his Granger." He reached for one of her sandwiches. (there was a small stockpile of them in her lap)
"Hey, hey, no touching the goodies, Malfoy."
He snatched his hand back. "Hey, calm down, I was just taking a sandwich."
"I know. That's what I meant. Sick-minded bastard." Ginny smirked and curled her knees up to her chest and started rocking back and forth. "My sammiches!"
Draco laughed. "Give over Weasley, I get enough of that at home. You can keep your ruddy chocolate sandwiches."
Ginny blinked at him, and then stared at her 'sammich'. "Chocolate?"
"Isn't that what's on it? Looks a bit dark for chocolate actually."
"Um, it's a sort of vegetable stuff. I think. Here, have one. But only one. I am sadly addicted."
Draco took the proffered sandwich with obvious chagrin. "'vegetable stuff'? I dunno, Weasley."
Ginny shook her head. "There's no hope for you lot. Eat it, you lump."
Draco did as he was told like a good little boy and almost died. "Merlin! What is this stuff?"
"Vegemite! yummy yummy yummy stuff. You have to get it imported though, it's from Australia."
Draco took another big bite. "It's good. Really good. Could I have another?"
Ginny shoved the last sandwich into her mouth with wide, childish eyes. The pigtails she wore her red hair in added to the cute little school girl look she was attempting to portray. Draco laughed loudly. "You're an odd one, Weasley. You're not bad. And neither is this Vegemite stuff. Do you have any more?"
Ginny held a finger up, keeping the boy at a distance while she chewed. He rolled his eyes impatiently as she slowly swallowed, took a deep breath and said "No. But Pig'll deliver a jar next week. He gets me a jar once a month. If you want some, I could organise for him to do two trips, I don't think he could carry two jars. He's a little on the puny side."
"Pig?" Draco queried. His question was quickly answered by a rather unowlish squawking from behind him. He'd leant back against a cage holding a very small, very happy owl.
"Hello there Pig. Um, what's with its name?"
Ginny shrugged. "Sirius' name for it was too long. I just call him Pig."
Draco's eyes widened and then got very very thin. "Sirius Black?"
"Yeah. Duh. Who else? Oh no, you're about to go Malfoy all over my ass now, aren't you? Well, give me one second, I'll just grab my wand."
Draco blinked. "What?"
Ginny pulled her wand out. "We're going to fight."
"We are?"
"Aren't we?"
"I'm not in the mood."
"Good."
The train slowed.
"We're almost there," Draco said.
"We're going to be enemies again when the train stops, aren't we?" Ginny asked as the truth dropped to her stomach. Or maybe it was the sandwiches.
"I guess so. You're not half bad for a Weasley though. I'll try not to point any disfiguring jinxes your way if you like."
Ginny smiled. "That'd be nice. Oh, and Malfoy?"
Draco had already stood up to go collect his luggage, but was glad for the excuse to stay. "Yeah?"
"I'm still Gryffindor Seeker. If you can beat me this year, I'll give you a whole jar of Vegemite."
Draco grinned and shook the hand she held out. "Deal. And if you beat me?"
Ginny shrugged. "No prize. It's not that hard to keep on the Snitch with Dean and Harry as Beaters, you know. You don't stand a chance of escaping Quidditch intact this year, Malfoy."
Draco laughed. "Well, don't tell anybody, but I've been named Quidditch Captain for Slytherin this year. You won't have to worry about the Bludgers any more when you're playing us."
Ginny gave him a funny look. "Why're you being nice to me all of a sudden?"
Draco shrugged and walked away. "I like your 'sammiches'."
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Well, I can't believe I'm going to say it, but Snape was right. This whole being forced to socialise with the other houses thing might not turn out too badly if I can work the system to hang out with that girl. Not all the Gryffs seem to be goody-two-shoes with red-hot pokers shoved up their asses, thank Merlin. At least the Weasley girl has a brain. And a damn good sense of humour. And if it wasn't for her being a Weasley and all, she'd be damn good looking too.
Wait. What am I saying?
Damn, it must be the Vegemite talking.
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That was surreal. Spending time with Malfoy, and actually enjoying myself! He actually seemed human, and he definitely acted it. Maybe it was because his lackies weren't around. Maybe it was because my brother wasn't around. Or maybe it was just that new thing Dumbledore said he wanted us to do at the end of last year, that interhouse-mixing thing. But if it was that, Malfoy could just go spend time with some of the Ravenclaws, not a Gryffindor like me. Today was just a freak accident, and I can't expect him to ever give me the time of day again. Which would kinda suck, he got my jokes. Nobody gets my jokes.
I'm just kidding myself. He'll go back to being Malfoy, and I'll never have a decent conversation again.
He liked the Vegemite, though.
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This is weird. It's been only a couple of days, but I feel like it's been a lot longer. I have to get some of that stuff. Is it just that bizarre spread that I'm missing? It's weird. She's... I can't focus on anything. I can't stop thinking about her. It's insane! And very weird.
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Who in Merlin's name is sending me notes in the middle of breakfast?
VGVDV
"Oy Gin, who's that from?"
Ginny blushed and refused to look up. She knew if she did, she'd blush even harder, and Ron would just steal the note that Pig had just delivered to her lap. And then she'd be in trouble. And Draco would be dead if Ron found out who it was from. Why oh why did he write it like that?
One bite and I'm addicted. Please give me another taste. -D
"Accio letter!"
Ginny yelped as the note flew out of her hands and into Harry's. "Harry! That's private!"
"Let's see... 'One bite...' what is this Ginny?" Harry dropped the note to the table and stared at Ginny. Ron grabbed it up.
"Ron, please don't read it, it's none of your business," Ginny pleaded. But it was too late.
Ron's eyes scanned the scrap of paper. He put it down a moment later and took a deep breath. "So. You and Dean getting back together?"
Ginny blinked. "What? No! How do you figure that?"
Harry fumed. "Well, it was signed with a D, wasn't it? And who else has had a 'taste' of you?"
Hermione frowned. "Harry, is that appropriate?"
"Yes it bloody is!" He yelled out, drawing attention from the students surrounding them.
Ron put a calm hand on his friend's shoulder after taking a deep breath. "Harry, it's not important, okay? It really is none of our business. Just let her have her secrets, okay?"
Hermione smiled approvingly, happy that finally Ron was trying to stay calm in public. It had taken him a long time to do it, seventeen years in fact, but maybe he'd finally grown up. And Ron might have even been able to calm Harry down if a smarmy voice hadn't sounded from behind them.
"Something the matter, Potter? Little Weasley not paying you attention anymore?" Draco smirked as the barbs took hold. Ginny grabbed her note back and ran from the hall. Ron took a very deep breath and stood up.
"Malfoy, I suggest you walk away right now before one of us gets hurt," he said slowly and carefully.
"Yeah, shove it, Malfoy," Harry added oh so helpfully.
Malfoy sneered. "Why not? Nothing interesting happening round here anyway. Just get it through your thick skull, Potter. I don't even know the girl, and I can tell you that she's a million times too good for you. Now get a grip and act your age, it's disgusting," he threw back before gliding out of the hall.
Harry slumped at the table.
"He's got a point, you know," Ron said. Hermione grinned happily. Everything was working so well. She turned and placed a warm hand over Ron's. "We need to talk. Right now."
Meanwhile, Draco had gone to find Ginny. It didn't take too long to find her, she was hiding in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.
"Weasley?"
He heard a yelp from a nearby cubicle. "Malfoy?"
"Who else, I mean really! I just thought I'd come in and, I dunno, I seem to have got you in trouble," he shuffled his feet, for the first time in his life uncertain.
Ginny emerged from the cubicle, her eyes puffy and her cheeks flushed and wet. "Since when did you care?"
Draco continued to shuffle his feet. "I dunno. Since now, apparently." Dammit, he thought. Since when did I act like a nervous teenager? Oh, right, since her.
Ginny sniffed and rubbed a damp sleeve against her face. "Well, thanks."
Draco frowned and came close to her. "Let me."
Ginny looked up at him, suddenly feeling shy, and smiled at him. The tiny smile she gave seemed to melt him to the spot. He reached a tentative hand up, and gently wiped her tears away.
"Um, Malfoy?"
"yeah?"
Ginny looked down at the ground. "Why did you write the note like you did? You knew if my brother got his hands on it, there'd be strife."
Draco smirked. "Yeah, well, I've always been a fan of strife. But, well, I dunno, it sort of seemed to fit."
"'Please give me another taste'?" Ginny put her hands on her hips and looked up at him quizzically.
"Well, I liked that day on the train. And not just the food," he said as he tucked a few loose strands of hair back behind Ginny's ears.
Ginny's eyebrows moved just slightly, but Draco noticed it. It gave him a sudden burst of confidence. "I really liked spending time with you. You're funny. And you're smart. And my god, your skin is soft," he said, brushing a stray tear loose from her face. "And you're beautiful."
Ginny bit her lip. "What exactly are you saying?"
Draco swallowed, hating this sudden nervousness. "I'm saying I would love to spend more time with you. A lot more time."
Ginny at some point in Draco's speech had transferred her hands from her hips to his without his even realising. "I don't see why not." Draco smiled, and bent his face down towards her.
Ginny leant back. "Just one thing."
"Yeah?"
"This isn't some bizarre way to get more Vegemite, is it?"
Draco laughed. "Weasley, that stuff doesn't even compare to you." And he kissed her.
Their lips brushed lightly as Draco wrapped his arms around her. Ginny's arms slid around from his hips to his back and she pulled him closer to her. Her knees almost buckled when he slipped his tongue gently into her mouth and tentatively stroked her tongue. Draco pulled back slightly.
"Did you have Vegemite at breakfast?"
Ginny giggled. "On toast, with fried tomatoes and pepper. The House Elves make it special for me."
Draco grinned, and drew his mouth down to hers again. This time the kiss was stronger, more passionate, and Ginny's legs did give out. A moment later, he had her up against the wall, careful not to let her fall. He gently stroked her cheek as he explored her mouth.
Suddenly, a quiet cough from the doorway forced them to jump apart. Ron and Hermione stood there, gaping at the two.
Ginny blushed deeply. "Uh, Ron, I can explain."
Ron took a very deep breath, and squeezed the hand that was holding his own. "D stands for Draco, then. Okay. I can deal with that."
Draco nervously ran a hand through his hair. "Look, Weasley, it's not what you think. I just wanted to check she was alright, and-"
"-So you meant all that stuff you said about her back in the Hall?"
Ginny blinked and turned a questioning eye to the boy by her side. "What stuff?" she asked very slowly.
Draco almost blushed. "Oh. I... um, I may have stood up for you, or something, I don't really remember, I couldn't really think about anything, I was a bit distracted. You were upset, and I really wanted to follow you."
Ginny was speechless. Hermione rolled her eyes. "Malfoy told Harry that you were too good for him. Harry, that is. Obviously not Malfoy."
Ron's patience was growing very thin. He took another deep breath. "Look, Malfoy, I don't know what you're doing with my sister, and I'd like it very much to stay that way. So we didn't see you, and you didn't see us."
"And don't tell Harry," Hermione added.
Ginny raised her eyebrows. "Why would I want to? ...oh." She noticed that Ron and Hermione were holding hands. "So, would you like us to go, give you two some privacy? I mean, you did interrupt us, but we were pretty much done anyway."
"We were?" Draco didn't get it, but an elbow to the ribs fixed that. "Right! We'll be off then. Have fun Weasley. Granger, you've done a good job on him, see you in class," he threw over his shoulder as he was dragged out of the bathrooms.
Ron and Hermione turned to each other, still holding hands. Ron reached up to stroke her cheek.
Hermione laughed. "Oh, I am so proud of you! You didn't hit him, you didn't even yell!"
"Well, I was a bit distracted trying to impress you. Am I all mature now?"
Hermione kissed his nose. "Very."
"That doesn't mean I don't want to threaten him with death if he hurts my baby sister. It just means I'm going to try really, really hard not to."
"Ron,"Hermione said, "now is the part where you shut up."
A voice wailed from a toilet at the far end of the room. "Nobody asks poor, ugly, dead moaning Myrtle if she wants some privacy. After all, it's not like it's her bathroom, or anything," but she was payed no attention.
ok guys, please review!
if I get 15 reviews, I'll give you another chapter asap, mkay?
oh, and if you liked the humour in this one, you'd probably love the once and future dragon king EVEN MORE!
and if you're as big a d/g nut as moi, then "love or lose"'ll be right up your alley. not really very funny, but romantic as all insanity.
so yeah.
review!
