Hello gentle readers! I have to admit something…I never intended to do anything more with this story…it was a twisted little trip to the dark side that hit me one day and that was it….until today…I received a wonderful review on FIX from PastyRamone-Extremely and all of a sudden…BAM! The muse hits me like a ton of bricks…my muse has been pretty dry lately…possibly due the insanity of the last few months of my life…but I am hoping that this will be the first of many updates for all my stories…and This story is dedicated to you PRE! I have no idea if it is any good seeing as a wrote it in a complete frenzy, but if this gets me back on the FF wagon, I will owe you my soul….Give Niobe a hug for me!

Oh yah, almost forgot…I own nothing but my own sanity…teeheetahatoohoo…give it up to JKR!

The sound of her own screams ripped her from unconsciousness again…and it was glorious.

Every night it was the same…every night since the fall of the Dark Lord…every night since she had slipped away from the final battle after that Weasly bitch left her for dead…

She had been hiding in the muggle slums outside of London for over 3 years now, whoring herself out to the lowest scum of the earth for the few coins they would throw at her when finished. She had even begun to gain a certain reputation in the alleys she frequented for being able to take whatever someone would give her in absolute silence. Nothing the Muggles could even think to do to her could even compare to her Dark Lord on a good day. But he was gone…defeated by the Potter boy…Bella was numb, silence was her only refuge. So let these Muggles beat her and perform any atrocity they could come up with in their feeble little minds…she was nothing now.

Her silence and tolerance for pain even attracted the attention of some of the darker brothels. They offered her room and board for her to cater to their more unique clientele. So now, instead of being continually raped on top of broken bottles in the back of some alley, she was being tied up with silken ropes and whipped till the flesh on her back was raw. Still she kept her silence. She cared nothing for the body, the body that had so easily betrayed her. Her passion…no, obsession…for her once devastating cousin is what finally betrayed her to her Lord and she was cast aside, much like Sirius had cast her aside for taking the mark…but in these past few week, in the dark recesses of her mind…something had changed…

He started haunting her dreams and twisting her soul. She saw him fall over and over again every night when her eyes closed, the sheer pain of his loss, his fall, would rip her soul to pieces again and again. Ah, it was glorious to feel the sweet decadence of pain again…her body may have betrayed her, but her spirit, her soul, refused to die and it reveled in the sensations it was feeling again after such a long time sleeping…but it was not just the Dark Lords fall that haunted her nights…

The look in Sirius's eyes as he fell, his eyes not looking at his godson but at her…those eyes pierced her like a the whisper of a blade across the throat. Silently her soul bled as he fell into the nothingness of the veil, his hands reaching out as if to take her with him into hell. Over and over, this scene replayed in her broken mind.

She started haunting the slums of London. Her appearance had changed so drastically she knew there was little risk of being recognized. She knew it was a risk, but the dreams…

She knew what she had to do. She used a glamour to hide her appearance and got a room at the Leaky Cauldron. She had to use extensive silencing spells so as not to bring any unwanted attention to her self because of her screaming sleep. The dreams had become stronger the closer she came to the Wizarding world and being at the Cauldron…the pain and images were now haunting her whether she was asleep or awake. She walked in a constant dream state and when ever she closed her eyes, even for just a moment, the same images would assault her and she would feel the pain begin to take her over again. But if her plan worked…she would be complete and would once again have the state of bliss that she had lost long ago, when she had lost him…she had to get to the Veil.

She had managed to break in to an apothecary in Nocturne Alley to get the necessary potions. She hid around the phone booth entrance to the Ministry, waiting for her chance. It came when she saw the familiar dark purple robes of a Department of Mysteries employee on a young blond woman who was fixing her hair as she dialed the proper numbers to enter the Ministry. Bellatrix waited till the street was clear to check the booth. Success! There was her salvation the strands of golden hair left on the floor of the booth. She hurried back to her room and added them to the polyjuice potion she had stolen. She poured the lumpy mixture into a flask, hid it in the folds of her robes and went to wait by the phone booth once more.

Six hours later, after night had fallen, Bella saw the blond woman hurrying away from the both. Bella waited for her to disappear around the corner before downing the potion. Once she was sure she had transformed, she quickly entered the booth, punched in the code she had seen the woman punch in, and descended into the Ministry for the first time since the Battle so long ago that had nearly destroyed her.

Disguised as the blond woman, she quickly walked to the lift. Being late, the lift was empty. "Department of Mysteries" she said in a quiet voice. The door closed and slowly descended to what she hoped would be her release.

The door opened to the silent dark hallway. She quickly stepped out and headed strait to the door she was looking for. The maps she had memorized for the previous battle were still fresh in her memory. She entered the many doored room and waited for the proper door to stop in front of her. The room stopped, but unfortunately, not at the door she needed. A rather dumpy looking wizard holding a brain in a jar came out of the door in front of her.

"Cynthia! What are you still doing here? You should have gone home hours ago…not that it isn't great to see you…" he said nervously, trying to keep his eyes from staring at her chest for too long.

"Oh, you know me" she said in a false high pitched voice "Always working…" She let her eyes roam up and down the wizard's body slowly and lowered her voice to a slightly smoky level "You are looking…busy. Would you be willing to help a girl out?" she said with a bit of a pout and lifting her chest slightly.

The wizard turned read and stammered "I-I'd love to…" He was practically drooling…

Bella walked up to him…she knew she had a limited amount of time before the potion wore off…"I just need to get into the Veil room for a few minutes…some last few tests to run for the day and all…" she ran her nails lightly along his arm and whispered close to his ear "I would be ever so grateful, I could meet you in your office and…thank you properly" As she said these last words she let her hand lightly brush past his belt.

The wizard practically melted "Ah…ah…sure Cyn" then he smiled what he hoped was a manly smile. He waved his wand in a quick twist. The room spun and the proper door opened. She could see the Veil fluttering in the back of the room. She had to lose this wizard and fast. "You go on; I will meet you in your office in a few minutes" she said smiling sweetly

"Oh I don't mind waiting" the wizard said, not even bothering to hide the fact he was staring at her chest.

'Damn it!' she thought. She was loosing time. She grabbed the wizard and kissed him passionately while letting her hands roam freely over his crotch. When she pulled away the wizard was suitably brain dead

"Now you go and get something for us to drink and I will meet you in your office" she said with a sultry smile. The wizard, thoroughly flustered at this point, nodded quickly and turned to hurry away. Just as he was closing the door behind him, she fired of a quick "Obliviate!" and it hit him just as the door closed. Now there was no risk of him remembering her. Now to the job at hand…

She walked towards the Veil as she felt the potion wear off and her true face began to show. She felt pulled by the Veil as she stepped up on to the Dias where the crumbling arch stood. She walked up to it and stared. It was almost hypnotizing as it fluttered gently from a breeze that seemed to come from nowhere. This was where she had lost everything…

"Funny" she said to no one "For once I can admit I have something in common with the Potter brat." She let out a small giggle that was not quite sane. The difference was she knew how to fix the mistake that was made so long ago.

She reached behind her and from the folds of her robes pulled out a silver blade. With out a single thought she brought the blade across both of her wrists, allowing them to bleed freely. She let the blood drip around her creating a circle around the Arch. She started humming a mad melody as she walked faster and faster around the Arch, blood pouring out of her. After her ninth turn she stopped directly in front of the Arch. Her eyes were burning and her hair was whipping wildly around her as the ghostly breeze from the Veil started to blow like a hurricane throughout the room. The Veil itself seemed undisturbed by all of this and still fluttered gently against the wind.

Bella blazed with power. She was calling up every last bit of magic she could find with in her and she shouted in a voice that resonated with an unearthly tone, as if a hundred voices were calling out in unison with her…

"Illic exsisto pondera. Ego professio meus animus pro suus. Amitto quod permissum indignus suus locus!"

With that she thrust her bleeding arms forward through the Veil. The wind shrieked through the room and a t last the Veil reacted. With a single gust of wind, the Veil split open and out of it came the answer to her prayers. Sirius fell gracelessly to the floor outside the circle of blood around the Arch. He was thin, ragged and not a little bit confused. The last thing he remembered was battling the Death Eaters with Harry, being hit with a stunner by Bellatrix, and seeing the look on her face as he fell. Then all he knew was pain…till now…what was happening?

Sirius looked around to see a sight that stunned him. Bella was standing within the Arch looking down at him with a small smile. The breeze was still whipping her hair around and now parts of the Veil were slowly pulling her inside. But the look on her face was one he had not seen on her face since those brief moments of passion they had shared so long ago. She was looking at him with pure madness and joy.

"Bella!" he managed to croak out through his unused vocal cord and went to reach for her out of instinct.

She smiled and shook her head as she waved him away. She then turned and cried out into the wind and the Veil that was slowly wrapping around her and burning her with a glorious fire that "My Lord, I shall find you in Hell, and we shall live in blissful pain together once more."

Then with a cry of torturous pleasure she leapt into the fires of hell beyond the Veil to finally embrace the pain she had been so long denied…leaving Sirius to collapse as the wind died down as if it had never existed. Even the blood she had spilled had been erased from the Dias. With Sirius last out of strength, he cast his Patronus and sent it off to find Harry or Remus to come and get him. And his last thought before he slipped into unconsciousness was that Bella would do well in Hell and he wondered if this world should be worried…

Hope it didn't suck! Had fun, hope you did!

Peace Love and Light

Dye

Latin: there must be balance. I trade my soul for his. Let go and let the unworthy take his place!