In courtesy of the author of Portal and Dragons, Franafee (find her in deviantArt, wysp, tumblr and wattpad). Also shoutout to lagiacrus aka Blueeyesgirl3 because she knows the thing as well and sorry iammemyself aka Indy for the crack.
THIS IS NOT MINE. THIS BELONGS TO FRANAFEE AKA THE REGRETFUL GIRL. (I asked her if i can post this so pls calm i asked permission, besides, wouldn't write a thing like thiiissss)
Wheatley and Chell were going on their ordinary adventures through ordinary puzzles with an ordinary device to defeat the ordinary antagonist, GLaDOS.
Chell picks up a companion cube when bOOM IT SUDDENLY TRANSFORMS INTO A DRAGON BEFORE HER VERY EYES
"THIS DRAGON IS AN EVEN BIGGER FATTY THAN YOU ARE" Wheatley shrieks like the coward...sissy... uh... baby... ball thing he is.
"Please note that the D.R.a.G.O.N, short for Dragon Robot and Godwhatisacronym Operational Neuro-simulator, has been added as a new test obstacle, meant to test your agility, flexibility and fire resistance." GLaDOS' definitely not autotuned voice is heard through the speakers.
"Fact: you literally cannot go wrong with this," the Fact Core is heard in the distance, suspiciously sounding like Gumi Append Sweet.
What will happen to Chell? Will she ever beat the Companion Dragon? Will she ever be able to work on her diet? Will Author-chan learn how to acronym? Find out next week in the season premiere of "Portal and Dragons: The Series".
Episode 2: Dra-gone, Be Gone!
"Wheathers-bajeeters, mah bruh, dafuq do I shizzle the shazzle do with this here sitwasyon you gon' get us intah," Chell said. Metaphorically. Since, you know, she's a crazy mute lunatic and she doesn't talk.
Wheathers-baj- um, I mean Wheatley, ran as fast as he could. Metaphorically. Since you know, he's a coward sissy uh baby ball and can't actually run.
The DRaGON continues to chase after our ordinary protagonists when it suddenly gets kicked in the face by the Adventure Core. Metaphorically.
Suddenly, the Space Core and the Fact Core appear out of nowhere. Literally
Why are they here, you ask? Because of readership demand, adaptation changes and executive meddling.
Suddenly, their theme song is sang by a Fact Core that sounds suspiciously like Gumi Append Sweet, now flavoured with more sassiness and more gayosity.
"Fact Core, commander and the leader!
Space Core! He is the joy and laughter!
Adventure! He is the toughest fighter!
'Rupted cores save the day!
Fighting crime, trying to save Wheathers
We got here just in time
The Corrupted Cores!"
"WOAH WAIT A MINUTE. WHO SAID /YOU/ WERE THE COMMANDER AND LEADER, SASSY-GAY-CRAIG," the Adventure Core shrieks like the non-coward, non-sissy, non-uh, non-baby, yes-ball he is.
"ME!" screams the Space core. Metaphorically, since he only talks of space in reality.
"Open your Aunt Nells here, Mr. I'm Better-than-You," our favourite homosexual of the sass orientation states in an authoritative and Polari fashion,"I may be homy polone, but I am a bona, fantabulasa leader, so naff off, you meshigener khazi! Oh, and you know, fact." he follows up in order to stay in character. Totally.
"Tsukini ni kawatte...Oshiki yo!" the three scream in unison at the DRaGON and transform for approximately 99999 into magikaru kawaii desu mahou shoujo dresses, like those in Sailor moon, or Magical Lyrical Nanoha. Or something.
While they were arguing though, Chell had already defeated the DRaGON herself with the use of her ordinary Wheathers and her ordinary device.
In the name of the regretful girl excuse the references
